green bananas dont taste good

dear dave,
VERY productive day today. Artomatic coming together. Worked hard at Corcoran studio on Ron Worries print. Changed course, and think it was the right choice. Nixed the green and kept it white. Very physical day. My feet are exhausted. Set up my sunday session nicely. Hopefully, the finish line will be in sight tomorrow afternoon.

dear dave,
working at the corcoran slow, but steady. the easiest (hopefully) board to print -- at least should have been easiest, took several screens and passes. Maybe good experience for what is to come tomorrow (the big pieces).

so excited for the next few weeks. Hope it all comes together smoothly.

hands are full of black ink. Toe (which I dropped the large board on) is KILLING me. very very sore and brused. boo

dear dave

all the world is full of possibility. Everything is there. Everything that i need I have. Everything that I'm searching for will show up when I need it. I feel blessed. And happy.

dear dave,
why take things so seriously. I vow to have fun from now on. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Or at least I want to enjoy it!
Busy weekend working on artomatic stuff. Nothing came out exactly like I expected, but I like it anyway (I think). Lots of sanding will be required.
Ok - the moment has passed, I don't feel like writing at ALL anymore. Hopefully more later.

mixed bag

dear dave,
there are somethings we just shouldn't know and think about. It corrupts us. Just like lex on smallville, I too have maybe gone too far.
Mixed results working today. Prepared planks, and sort of prepared artwork, but Im scared it will all work out bad. Maybe its just stupid fear. I was feeling very overwhelmed with all that I expected to accomplish. Very much like the boy in the flying machine book. Maybe I am delusional. Or maybe / hopefully not.
The poster is percolating. An exciting idea has now sort of faded. I still think its a good idea, but the fear. The fear.

Not sure why I feel so drained. I wish I felt more energized. I need to feel more energized.

REE-co-laaaaa

dear dave

great morning. rough with sarah, but all the great wood made up for that. Found a ton in the alley, just when I needed it. Yesturday, as I was walking up the stairs, I thought to myself: Wouldnt it be great if they threw out a ton of wood. next day, they do.

Got some great, inspiring pieces. Excited to work with them.

Posters> as impractical as they are (hex is right!), I have just seized on the idea. Its one of those things (black lab, rainbow suspenders, macintosh) that I can't let go of. I'm already over the cliff, so why reel myself back?

progress!!

new video posted!

worked on it various days and nights.  

Wrote the text at barnes and noble during lunch monday
made the music monday night
wrote out the shots tuesday lunch
shot as much as I could tuesday night
outlined the filmed shots thursday night
finished shooting Saturday afternoon
editing finished tonight.

1 minute and work spanned over several days.
Ha -- may 2-4  is going to be interesting.

sea of sin know where you've been

dear dave,
so much to think about. the space at artomatic makes my mind buzz. what to create and show? I want things to be big, and I'm afraid my prints just wont cut it. But how to I create new stuff in such a short amount of time? Is it all going to turn out a big mess. (trust your instincts)
Last night I thought about a poster stack - how fun that would be. So I'm reasearching that. Size will be an issue, but I dont want that to stop me.
Worked Saturday on print, and movie.

Print
messed it up a bit, which gives me the chance to move forward. It had gotten way to precious. I added some texture. Now it looks like the bottom of a pizza box, with grease stains. Decided to hit it twice. Maybe a mistake? We'll see.

Movie
shot a lot. Its becoming an obsession. I keep saying that. But Im shooting things over and over. I dont think that is a good thing. Trying to make it too perfect. Capture an elusive moment (like the shaking gun). Oh well. I think I got some strange weird funny stuff. Hex caught me midway through, and it was like he stumbled on a murder scene. The apartment was all sixes and sevens. I sort of became speechless, and waited for him to leave. Work will presume later -- after taxes!!

artomatic site chosen!!

very excited.
After short orientation, they let our small group go to the 6th and 10th floors to pick our spaces. We went to 6 first, and I immediately went to the north corner windows. Most the floor was spoken for, that part included. although there was no wall set up there.

Went up to the 10th floor, and found the open space there. Most of the floor was open, because we were first there. After some quick looking around further, I quickly went back to this spot and claimed it. It has such a terrific feel with the view.

Met Alex (alexzealand.blogspot.com) who will be next door. Thought she wanted the same space, but she seemed just as happy choosing next door.

Now, thinking about lighting, and painting, and the floor. Very exciting. Maybe I should think more about the artwork.

It will all come together. I am confident.

puppet test 1

progress

dear dave,
finally finished my first puppet test. Will post soon. Maybe I will put it on youtube first. Don't really like the quality on the blog. or maybe its just the quality of my videos! Everything looks so good on the iphone. maybe its the size, and the glass screen. oh well. Fretting about the quality of my 48hr movie. Rent a camera or no? I think I must. We'll see.

Excited to pick my artomatic space on Sunday.

not really

if you like that you'll love this and me

dear dave,
obsession depression. one thing works, another thing doesnt. Everything wont bend to my will. revise revise revise. rechange. sort out. reshoot. rescan. trace. save as.

everything is on a down cycle. obsessed over my new video project, but work on it in snippets, then want to do-over. its only a minute anyway. what am I thinking (im not thinking).

Want to abandon my prints. Want to paint. On what. How? No time.

snippets of ideas. too many snippets. Im getting ahead of myself, but I stay behind. Frustration. Anxiety, relief. Fear.

Its all in there.

im in the pool, instructors give me vague instructions, with my gear on, sucking for air. I DONT want to scuba ron. dont make me.

avoiding things gets me no place. nowhere. my projects can wait. PLEASE HOLD I need excercise.

reject

probably will (not)

dear dave
Looking at my print, I had no idea what to do.  Scared to destroy it.  The more work you put into something, the more precious it becomes.  I'm afraid to make the next move.

Came home, and worked on my movie instead.  By "worked" I mean obsessed.  Poor remi was dancing around.  One more change.  One more viewing.  It's so addicting.  I can't stop myself from looking and changing and looking.  Saturday was the same, but worse.  Sat down for 15 minutes.  Turned into over 8 hours of editing.

I came up with 4  1 minute or so versions(!)  Worked on it a bit again today.  4 f-ing versions, all with different aspects I like and don't.  Crazy.  Now that I have discovered how to SAVE AS, Im in trouble.  Maybe its better not to know.

Anyway, I feel like I made progress, but much more needs to be made if Im going to make a credible 4 minute movie in 48 hours.  Maybe it wont be so credible after all.  Still cant decide about using puppets or not.  Seems easier.  I want to only have to depend on myself.  A challenge I know, but its what I think I want.

I will post my work as soon as I decide which version is the final.  Next project>more puppets.  And story writing (somehow).

tommy wants to talk?!

dear dave,

anxious to get back to my puppets. Plan to work on prints for artomatic, but go tthe idea to do some paintings also. Maybe I will wait to see the amount of space I get. Love the idea of paintings, becasue they don't have to be framed. Hate the idea of framing. So expensive and tedious.

Not sure where the printing will take me. Worried that I ruined my bird print last week, with too harsh colors. Scared to look at it again. And do I continue on with the series? Probably, but still undecided.

ok, update overwith. on to action.

candy ass

dear dave,

slow and steady. Worked on some ridiculous puppets last night. It's hard to move the puppets, and hold the camera. Hmm, that will have to be worked out. And how do I make them talk? I have no solution for that either. Maybe just a voice of God narrator.

Also realized I will probably need to storyboard, so I have a plan for shooting. But I think they are fun, and could work. All my footage is raw. Didnt have time to work / obsess over it. I'm getting frightened of imovie/guitar band. They really are a black hole. I could spend hours/days without moving, concentrating on the flow. Its exhilarating and scary at the same time. I need to pace myself. For H's sake!

I'm not really sure why I am making all these fake ads. But it's fun.

racheal said no

dear dave,
blah blah blah blah blah.

Feeling a bit blah. Worked late on a new movie, but feel blah about it. I need to recharge. As a certain ladyship would say "it's forced."

Thinking about using puppets for 48 hour film. So I think I should test them.

We have had days of clouds. I think that is what has affected me. My contacts feel thick, and my eyes are dry. Maybe I will go get new contacts, and a new attitude. Or maybe not.