mother / daughter

warm n fuzzy

dear dave

sitting at caribou, drinking assam black, and happy Im here. Thought about going into the studio, but that felt unappealing. I wanted to do something different today.

Holiday ups and downs are here. Not really downs, but I usually feel a little bit melencholy after the holiday. All those good warm feelengs have been diffussed into the lives of all the family and friends I saw and talked to the last few days. The holiday is over, and everybody goes back to thier own lives (which doesnt include me) Its totally understandable, but I feel the seperation anxiety. The let down, like coming home from camp. The day is over. Back to normal.

MY TEA IS SO HOT, I CAN BARELY HOLD IT.

So I decided to come to caribou, to keep the bustle going. I don't feel like being to myself. I want to be public (even though I am focused on my laptop, with earbuds in.)

quick memories:

Jesse eating annes wax earplugs.
playing the pig game
talking to richelle in the empty studio
spiked cider in crockpots
golf balls
remi and leichan
morning hike
bud's stroking
sheons twirl
ronnies fur vest
bloody turkey leg (if the leg bleeds, the breast is done)
how big will that be? how big??
fiesty hank
n'sync christmas music.

its all so fun. Thanksgiving brings back so many memories, and warm feelings. So excited to enjoy December this year. IT feels revolutionary. I want to savor the season. Ive always wanted that!

Cheers to Hadria, Golriz, and Erin. I think Im going to think about you guys around the holidays for awhile.

gobble gobble

dear dave

working on FREEHAND this morning, while I should be doing other things.

LOVE!!!!

GOSSIP'S yr mangled heart

BRUCE WEBER

GARRETT NEFF

ROBERT PATTINSON

now I need to draw.

ps- love all the warm and fuzzy holiday buzz in the air. Everybody is chipper, and friendly. Starbucks filled with different customers (wearing cozy scarves). Work is put aside. Family and friends comes to the fore.

Happy Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for - most especially my love, my family, and my friends. Without all of them, I would be nothing.

dear dave,

great day!!

dear dave

feeling great today.  a new day!  yesterday sucked.  Stomach aches, forgotten postcards, angry homeless, angry exy.

I have Peter Gabrial playing (which reminds me of Irene's illness, and mobile making)

Its a new day!  and Im ready for it.

dear dave.

off this morning / afternoon. trying to get started, but...

fun weekend. especially enjoyed:

working on crazy videos saturday am
twilight
slumdog millionaire
cupcakes
brunch
sunday afternoon.

holiday week. Loose ends to finish up. Things to accomplish, and think about. Feel confidence shaken today. I don't know why, but its been hard to escape that feeling.

dear dave

open studio today. feeling great. happy is a clam. its still gray outside, but I endure. Holiday season. warm feelings. emotional. love it.

somehow, these go together

dear dave

glad to be back at my office, after a bad studio session yesterday, and a tooth filling this morning. yuck to both.

I think the pegboard analya gave me is cursed. This is my second attempt to print on it, and it went from bad to worse. JUST-ISNT-WORKING. I need to cut and run. I have already spent so much time on it. Maybe back to paper for awhile.

I think I will just leave that pegboard on the side of the road somewhere. SOMEBODY has unfinished business with it. Message received.

FUn nite out last night. B is funny!

my stomach is EMPTY. My mouth is sort of numb.

back to drawing.

dear dave

feel healthy, which makes me very happy. I was convinced I would be getting another weeklong, stay in bed, watch tv for endless hours cold. But it doesnt seem to have taken hold (yet).

Another day at the studio, working on snake man 2. Drawing more again this morning (no coffee).

coming up -
end of month
corcoran sale
studio show
red tree(?)

Think I'll get started.

dear dave

drawing for a few hours - and this is my favorite. oh well - tomorrow is another day.

goodnight. (dont be sick - please!)

dear dave

today is all about drawing, and managing my space. PRO DUCT IVE

good luck

I love my remi

dear dave

wacky day. there seemed to be a crush of people in the studio, on the road, at safeway, everywhere. I guess we all have things to do. outta my way (bitches).

Anyway - the studio is always frustrating when so many people are printing there - and such large scale projects to boot. Multiple screens = multiple messes. Oh well, I survived ok. Made s o m e progress. Baby steps. That's really all I can do. Things take time. my time!

The dark cloudiness just seems to be holding on its grip. Sun this morning, clouds this afternoon. Again, more huddling. Cant wait to stop the huddling.

weekend update

dear dave

weekend was great - full and robust.

saturday class was more of a set-up for today. so many people trying to use the same equipment. It was frustrating - so i just made the screens and left. but hopeful...

The afternoon in the woods with remi was terrific. So inspired by the light and the trees. I couldn't stop taking pictures. A lot like last year at this time. A nice time outside collecting my thoughts, and gaining steam. I felt very satisfied afterwards.

James bond was good - but crazy with the theater issues. But - a successful operation!

Sunday at Red Dirt was a lot of fun. Tons to enjoy and think about. One of those memorable afternoons for all of us. I love that.

The life of an artist is lonely (ha). You toil at something that is very personal, and then you show it off. People either look at it or they don't. It's all so interesting.

Good times with cliff and bill and ronnie and sheon and sue and richard and alan. Nice to have so much fun together. Memorable fun.

dear dave.

Friday feels different. i'm a little scattered. Definately not focused.

my coffee is cold, maybe that is the problem. Feeling twitchy and unmotivated. Think I will work on other stuff, and see where it takes me.

Administrative friday it is...

dear dave.

nothing worked. couldnt get into a groove with movie - after several attempts. Then, threw something together, but now can't upload, after several attempts.

Thwarted. oh well. other stuff worked.

dear dave,

coming into work today, driving in the rain, listening to Mariah, I was inspired to work on a short film today around the neighborhood.

Im off to get my starbucks, camera in hand.

hopefully, I will have something to post at 6.

good luck dave! (for michael)

dear dave,

Is simplicity best, or simply the easiest? I don't know, but I seem to be singing that to myself.

Grey day today. The light is shifting. Huddled.

Going to the studio later. must fix that atrocious peg board I started monday. Loose ends.

Outlook is good. Stay focused.

dear dave

so much blog activity today. Excited to launch FREEHAND, a place to put all my drawings. I love how I slowly stripped it down, to the bare essentials. Now, I'm happy.

Feel VERY edgy right now, and a walk to B's didn't solve much. Where to put this energy? Maybe in a list.

terry fill dirt wagon soap angles tear slip stable recut resolute sarah stains kilt falopian take have steal need want desire reserve eat shat terra shin flit slab remain

blood is...

dear dave

studio work yesterday was a bust. maybe my flying machine moment has happened. Not everything works out. Even sandpaper couldn't salvage it. Oh well - I will work on it more Wednesday. Im thinking I will paint the pegboard over, and start fresh. Space planning is key, and I think that was the problem. (I love talking so obscure).

THe air is CRISP. Ripe with ideas, and options. Today I fell free. The coffee has kicked in! I am alive

maybe its just the coffee

I LOVE sexy self portraits. most of them are way too racy to publish here, but this one I just love. IT takes it to another artistic height. I feel like it is my duty to include it here!

Gays LOVE to take pictures of themselves. Maybe its an identity thing. Looking for who we REALLY are. or maybe its not a gay thing at all. I just remember taking a lot myself. And I have seen h's trove (which would be the only thing I would grab in a fire).

Now that everybody hooks up online, its a universal thing, and 1000s are available for review. I LOVE THEM. I could look at them for years. All the details. The hair. The expressions. The camera angles. The messy room backgrounds. The body hair. Its all so terrific, honest, and fake all at the same time.

dear dave,

early is better - but not always productive.

class saturday was a BUST! Manuel managed to get in my way at every turn - it was crazy. Deleting my post was the last straw. What is it with that guy?

Lunch with Kim and Erin was terrific. I really enjoyed being with them again.

Coffee with Jenn was equally enjoyable. So nice to catch up with old friends, and find them just as happy as when you last saw them.

Party with Hank was funny. So nice to have a bf, and good friends to laugh with. I am blessed!!

THis is a new week. Today Im off to the corcoran for more printing (lost dog and ...) Then RTS. Should be a fun day. Hopefully, a great start to a good week.

chippy

dear dave

this morning my teeth were scraped like a dog. The dentist is barbaric. i survived.

The studio is quiet today. Everybody is off doing other things. Im having chipotle for lunch.

I bought a mechanical robot bird from smith & hawkin that sings. I'm in love with it. Its the next best thing to real.

dear dave.

It happened. energy - out. flying high today - until nothing worked out. and now,
I feel like I'm living under the carpet. Until tomorrow. (maybe I just need to eat)

the closest you will get...to love.

dear dave

caffeine really gets me going. I am soooo hyped up right now.
-excited by morrissey singing ONE NOVEMBER!!!!!!!
-excited by my owl print!!!!
-excited by the truck out my window, loading pizza dough trays!!!!!!!!
-excited by my crazy lost dog project!!!!!!

so many plans. must - get - to - work (earlier!!!!!!!!!!)

dear dave,

So excited about the election. New air. Everybody seems to have an extra spring in their step, like its a Friday before a holiday. The city was buzzing last night. Poor h!!

Going back to the print studio this afternoon. Found some bubble wrap, and styrofoam to print on! Maybe I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. I always have to keep that flying machine story in mind. Nobody wants to crash and burn. My energy has been bubbling lately. Hopeful it stays in full throttle.

MUST-WORK-ON-SNOW-MEN. And accounts. And clothes. And Red Tree.

Ok - Im sufficiently sweaty.

thanks chad

dear dave

today is historic. we'll see how it turns out, but all signs point to obama. Should be very interesting.

Good morning, running around tending to remi's ear, and voting, and eating (too much peanut butter and sugar). Done with results (in 29 days), and looking for unusual things to print on. My latest interest is styrofoam. I want to find the kind that floats, sort of tight and compact.

We need to start our snowmen. Poor h has a bad cold. feel better!

excited for the future. So much fun ahead. Here's to the future - and it's brightness!!

dear dave

productive at the corcoran. Another pegboard printed, but I don't know if this is as successful (although I thought the first wasnt so successful either, at first) Anyway, nice to work in a calmer space - there was much less hustle bustle there.

Its getting dark much earlier now. Sort of brings back bad memories. But they are memories which cant harm me. Unlike stomach pain - which seems to have gone away again.

Tomorrow is another day. Another chance to stall. Another chance to succeed. A new beginning. until then...

dear dave

good show / fun show. Thanks to ALL who came. it was so nice to see familiar faces.

Fun to show off my office.

Im off the the print studio, to work on some more work. Hopefully meeting with cord this week, and taking remi to the vet, and getting my teeth cleaned, and starting the snowmen, and voting, and drawing, and organizing, and gyming.

Things sort of feel in place, until they skew up again.