more about me

Ugh.

I got here early today, and have wasted my time on the computer. Can't seem to get in gear. Whats my problem?

List

pay rent
return Lucy
get jesse
take pictures
plan more prints
draw
deposit money
set up accounts
get checks
DO TAXES
plan show
plan artomatic
contact photographer
drop shirts

go

more random stuff

dear dave

good ole dave.

why fret - the world is your oyster. Just reach out, and grab it.

Surfed around some blogs, and found such exciting stuff. I just want to put it all in my pocket. Inspired to make and draw.

Good day at the studio yesterday. I redid my gull print entirely. I took the time to get everything just right. I'm happy with the result, but I'm not sure if it's so me. It feels really controlled. Where's the fun?

It was really nice to have the space and time to just work there. None of the hustle bustle that is soooo distracting on Saturdays. I want to spend more time there, working and creating. I just need to find my way.

dear dave

work at the corcoran Saturday was good, but not great. Unhappy with my registration and paper and inks. Thinking about doing them all over again this morning. Think I will.

Studio is quiet, and kind of smelly. I have Kanye cranked up, and I'm gulping down my coffee.

ok - I'm off to the corcoran.

dear dave,

Late post today. Dinner with Kim was a blast - although I felt like I had swallowed a brick about 20 minutes later. Anyway, it's always good to catch up with her. And "steak and eggs" is a keeper!

Working more still on my website with iweb. Feeling like it's starting to take shape. Like a barn is going up in the distant field. I like where I'm going with it so far, just working on fleshing it out. Sometimes I hit my stride, then need to pause. But overall its REALLY FUN. What I love doing - combining words and pictures and drawings. Designing pages. The freedom is DELICIOUS!!

Finally met Thomas this afternoon. What a great guy- I'm impressed. A terrific new friend I look forward to collaborating with.

Now I MUST shift gears and plan for tomorrow in the print studio. FINALLY, I gotta get some prints made.

Have a great weekend everybody!

Friend of the Week (4)

This week it's KIM!!

A terrific friend and supporter of me, my family, my friends, and even my dog! Kim is the very best, and I appreciate all that she has shared with me, and done for me. She is a one in a million find, and I feel so LUCKY to have her.

CHEERS kim!

Kim just recently started a new job at Restore America's Estuaries. Visit here for more info on how you can help!

make it work

dear dave,

rainy day
quiet studio
plans with Kim
fear about taxes
relieved that Lucy is improving
nervous about everything
fun night at bills
more work on website
anxious to move forward
one step at a time.

we are in this together

dear dave,

Yesterday was bad news bears. Today feeling much more together. Like my parts have been tightened up.

Took Lucy to the vet, and offered to take her for a few days, and nurse her ear infection. Poor Jimmy was so upset, and not really able to take care of her herself. And Dad doesn't seem able either. Oh well, Hex and I are happy to do it.

Changed my schedule for today, so I'm going to focus on drawing and planning. I need to stay open.

Sitting in the sauna this morning, I noticed that I was holding my hands out, open and cupped. A little thing, but it had a big impact on my mindset. I've been way too closed up lately. Almost in this protective position. I want to open myself up. I'm convinced that this will bring me more peace and opportunity and happiness.

dear dave

late start. I miss my coffee. Now that Im here, I want it (after deciding water was the better route today)

went to gym then went to UO. they have $24 t-shirts that I said NO to, and got a blank $14 one instead. Still seems out of whack.

Things are changing in my head, and I don't like the direction they are going. I want to whack myself out of it, but it's never that easy. This is a longer term issue. I'm just afraid I don't have the stuff to solve it.

In the end, it's always fear that trips me up.

dear dave,

weekend had a ROCKY start, but ended up ok. Nice to be outside yesterday, thinking about spring.

Trouble getting used the new place. I don't know what my problem is. I just don't feel completely settled there. I wish I did. I'm so focused on things I don't like about it. Things I can't change. RRRRR

Photography session with Joey today. Feel sort of anxious, but thats typical. I made a shirt for him to wear Friday, but I'm not so psyched about it today. I bought some new iron on material (bulk), but it got really pilly after washing. Not as nice as the previous batch.

Need to find my way with the website. how much time to pour into it. i want more layers. More and more. Spent TONS of time last friday on analytics and favicon (which didn't work on my computer at home) But analytics did, and thats great.

Blog traffic WAY down BTW. really strange.

dear dave,

walking into starbucks this morning, I glanced down at the sidewalk, and this little guy stared up at me. Of course I quickly turned around, pulled out my phone, and snapped a shot. I find him irresistible. I don't know how he got there (or if he was set up that way), but I was content to leave him alone, hoping that somebody else would enjoy him just as much as I did.

Weird morning. Actually thinking about taking off now, and visiting Jimmy. It's been a few days.

Last night was great with the girls. Chicken tasted great, and it was fun to catch up. I feel them slipping away from my everyday, and my instinct is to hold them tight. But I realize that things change. Its nice that we can stay in touch.

Installed analytics (over and over). Hope it works this time. No progress on printing, or any other art for that matter. There is always next week. I guess I'm just not ready to hit the studio.

ode to erin

talked to Erin this morning, and missed her terribly, along with hadria and golriz. So I played MIKA while I shaved, and remembered old times. Niiiiiice (thank you)

dear dave,

some things just don't make sense, but I follow instructions, don't really understand the mechanics, and hope for the best. Many times things work out.

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Just installed analytics to branddave.com. Tomorrow, we'll see if it works out. I feel like I use .5% of my computers capacity. There is sooooooooo much cool software installed, but it would take me years to go thru it all. What if something is there that would make my life 1000 times easier? It's overwhelming.

iweb is a great example. Last year I looked it over, played with it. But I wasn't so inspired to go further with it at the time. Then somehow it just occurred to me to go back to it, and all the tools & possibilities just blossomed before me. What else is on my hard drive, just waiting to be discovered?

A few cool things in the works. Photo shoots coming up next week. High hopes for them. Plus a shadow session with a fellow photographer. Seems like a good contact, and very receptive. I'm excited about that...

Signed up for 48hr film project again. Same weekend as last year - May 2nd. Plan to go it alone again. Should be FUN.

Chicken party with Erin, Mer, and kim tonight. Can't wait for our dish session over a succulent bird!

dear dave,

couldn't sleep last night, so I went back to my old diary from '89-90. Really cool to read my past, and compare it to my present. All my angst over not having a job. My desire to make t-shirts. To have friends. To be an artist. It all comes full circle.

I thought about writing excerpts here. Some things are just so funny how they parallel the present. I was so unsure about my future then, as I am now. But I have come a LONG way. I'm getting a little choked up thinking about it. It's cool to see the progress, and it reassures me. I'm on the right path.

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My window is open, and its sunny and breezy. The birds are starting to arrive back in town. Singing and reuniting with old friends (I'm sure). It's really nice to see the sun, and feel it on my skin.

The studio vibe is different (understandably). Things have changed, and I'm adjusting. I miss Beverly and Analya.

inspirations

friend of the week (3)

This weeks friend of the week is Beverly, my former studio mate. In the few short months I've been working at 4903, I've been lucky enough to get to know Beverly, and have really appreciated all her kind words and support. I will really miss seeing her everyday, but hope that we can keep in touch, and keep supporting each other.

Good Luck Beverly!!

Click here to visit her website, and see her wonderful jewelry.

Dave Polo

dear dave,

Today my father sent me over some forms to fill out, and wrote my email address as branddavid. Love it. Considering he always calls me David (and michael does too), it makes sense.

I don't remember the time when I decided I was "dave" and not david. Probably just happened over time. It suits my personality though.

I remember in high school gym, this girl that was sort of tormenting me asked my name. When I told her "dave", she repeated it with scorn, and said something like : "I bet your dream is to work at Bloomingdale's." That was not so subtle code for calling me faggot. She put down the marker at that point. I was to avoid her, or risk further torture. I hated her.

The funny part is that I eventually started skipping gym, walking to the mall a few blocks away, to check out the men's Polo selection at....Bloomingdale's.

My senior year I was called Dave Polo, eventually voted "Class Prep" ahhh....high school.

dear dave,

blog neglection is a bad thing. so is gym neglection. ( guess I just made up that word)

So I will go to the gym instead. But I'm afraid nobody is going to want to read any of this unless I step it up. So hopefully I can get some fun things up tomorrow.

There is always tomorrow!

Plus, the print studio is open all week. So I must get some quality work done.

ok.

dear dave,

YIKES! my blog traffic has gone off a cliff. And my inbox was EMPTY all weekend. What happened to everybody? I'm roaming the streets alone.

We discovered that our new building has a security camera at the front door, and we can view it on our cable channel 6. How fun. Yesterday some (guy?) had a huge party, and there was a steady parade of really good looking guys being buzzed in, almost all carrying a dish or bag. Must have been some party! Tons of good food, and hot boys. Hex ventured up to the 5th floor, where he thinks the party was. That's as far as we got to being invited.

dear dave,

I draw, and stuff just comes out. I like kooky things. Now I'm suddenly into putting annie wigs onto all my characters.

Went to the gym this morning, lifted weights, and felt great. Ate my banana and got my grande ice coffee (xtra ice) and was on my way to work, listening to Madonna, feeling fine. Excited to get in, and do things.

But nobody was here, my high sort of wore off, and diffused. Oh well. I still feel good. Its hard to keep that going anyway. its a moment. I great moment.

Listening to Sugarcubes, and drawing. And working on web stuff. MUST get prints together for saturday.

my to do list grows...........

time to put my annie wig on, and not take life so seriously. I have it made!

ps - snakeman's ears are getting longer and pointy-er, and his torso is shrinking rapidly. More southparky I guess. He's evolving!

dear dave,

LATE start today. Excited to get back to work on the website. Amazed at how easy the software is. Having a lot of fun working on it. Like building with lincoln logs.

Sunny day / empty studio. I have my coffee.

Slowly settling into the new apartment. MUST paint. I really don't like the yellow/tan walls. And the popcorn ceiling. Who's horrible idea was that anyway. What purpose does it serve? Why?

Anyway, plan to make some more shirts, print, and website.

ps - I LOVE the freaky robot face above. Is that our future? I love how disgusted she looks.

dear dave

listening to Morrissey "dial a cliche" looking thru my photos to work on my website, and loving it. Found this photo of me and remi, and couldn't resist posting it. My old bed. Two apartments ago. Remi looks so young. She is my baby.

dear dave

working on website today. period.

and going to VIDA.

period period

scenes from a move

dear dave

what an emotional move this has been. I have been so sad moving out of the hudson. I know in the end it's a good thing - but its been so hard to let go. Like the last few days of a great vacation, I don't want to leave this fantasy island I have been lucky enough to live in.

I have so many memories there. Plus I just loved it, from start to finish. The day I moved in I felt so happy. Great location, great apartment. A new life, a fresh start.

While my initial plans to completely reinvent myself were a little too ambitious, I did make some MAJOR changes for the good, and I really think it was the apartment that set them in motion. I'm a different person: I'm no longer at Be As You Are. I excercise. I have new friends. And I have Hex. Most important>I found Hex. For all these things I am very grateful.

Now it's on to a different apartment. A fresh start and new memories. I can look back (and forward) and smile.

scared to death

computers drive me crazy. Apple makes things SO easy, until you find that one thing that is impossible to figure out:

I installed Safari 4 beta, only to discover that it SUCKS. Slow and sluggish. So I want my old version of safari back.

IMPOSSIBLE - first I must UNINSTALL safari 4. I google and google to figure out how to uninstall. I go to Help menus. Nothing. So I do it the ghetto way, and mess things all up. Then, after fretting that I will never be able to quickly, painlessly figure this out, I do. But in the most convoluted way. But in the end, I still have Safari 4 beta, because I am too scared to go thru all this again without triple backing up.

That decides it, Im getting an external drive TODAY.

dear dave

its breezy and sunny. a perfect combination.

Working on my website for the next few days. But what to do about blogger? I guess I will just need to link it up. Excited to be able to do this on my own. We'll see how it turns out.

Finally got my camera battery, so its back to the photography. Hopefully I can get some things going next week.

Waiting for more iron-on material, then I have a few shirts to make.

Thinking about screen printing, and I have come to the conclusion that I just need to take a deep breath, and say FUCK IT! I just need to move FORWARD and stop stalling! Just PRINT. don't WORRY. You can't make a mistake! just do it.

I'm so hung up on framing, and archival and process. I need to let that all GOOOOOO, and have fun. THat is the solution. DONE.

NEXT.

friend of the week (2)

This week it's Barb Franceski!

Ive known Barb since highschool, and have ALWAYS appreciated her friendship, support, character, and creativity. She has been a terrific friend over the years, and I ALWAYS wish her the very very best. Thanks Barb!

Check out her site, and see her talent for yourself!

dear dave

reading thru the past few weeks, I can see that Im feeling a lot of angst. Its time to buck up! For good!

If I can come out to my parents, jump out of an airplane, raft the futalafu, and do naked yoga, I can do ANYTHING!

Waiting for David to come and disassemble my massive couch, so we can fit it thru the halls of the new bldg. Hoping it will go smoothly. I will leave on that note.

ps-remi was sad about the couch being taken apart.

dear dave

Trying out the new Safari, and not sure I like it. Apple is too cool for school though.

Changes and upheaval everywhere. Moving stress continues. We will get thru it. Looks like Friday will be the wicket. Maybe I should start drawing croquet and wickets. I like that idea.

Trying to work out Branddave stuff with cord. Finally starting to pay attention to that mountain. Or Pink Elephant. It scares me.

Today is the sunny day after the snow. Icicles, bright sunny reflection, squints, and cold wind. Love it all (sort of).

I feel washed out. I need to vent, or re-fortify. All will resolve. I just need to stay resolute.

dear dave

Snow this morning. Crazy weekend. Lots of moving stress and angst. New apartment not ready for move in, so we had to scramble and change plans.

Moving stress is primal. No matter how much I tell myself to relax, I can't help but feel the stress, and push it on to hexy. I just need to keep saying to myself: it will work out. It will work out.

I feel out of sorts. NO progress Saturday at the studio. I am really lost when it comes to screen printing lately. I can't find my way. I can't commit to anything. I wish I knew what I wanted. I'm soooo resistant. I'm so lazy, or just not into it. My creative mojo is diluted. I talk myself out of every direction. I cant do that because of this and this and this. Blah blah blah. It's all fear. I'm afraid I will fail. And I will feel bad about myself. That is probably the bottom line.