Dear dave,

The windows are open, and my fan is blowing a sweet gentle breeze into my office. The birds outside are singing away. Seems like its going to be a good day. Maybe shooting Jason later, maybe not.

Have some loose ends to tie up. Worked on the website a lot yesterday. Its a swamp. Fun, but I really get sucked into it.

I had a great time shooting David (so many Daves and Davids). We went to a "new" meadow on the other side of the school, and it felt sort of magical. Really reminded me of Uncle Len's place. Quiet and peaceful. I'm looking forward to going back there with the girls. So I had a billion pictures to look thru (which I LOVE), and wanted to refresh my photo grid, and a lot of my pages. Seems fresher to me now.

I really really love going thru photos and editing them. Maybe because there are no pesky voices around me, telling me what I should like, and what I can't use. The control I love. Control over my own work. This is fantasy island (I'm on now), I know that. Hopefully I find a way to perpetuate it.

I'm sort of scattered by all my tasks, but this time of year, right now, feels magical. I love wearing shorts, having the top down, the long days, walking remi in the woods. All feels free and vacationey. Feels good. And I have Hexy by my side. The cherry on top.

dear Dave,

Mondays are always daunting.

I get lost and bogged down in trying to make a priority list. Little things and big things and all the things in between get massed together in one huge ball of to-dos! I can't find a path, and quickly feel discouraged. Distractions take over. Things like checking email and surfing the web. But what if ive been doing that all weekend? I'm all caught up with that non updating nonsense.

I guess it's time to face my tasks, and smile. I will feel happy and relieved on the other end of the day!

dear Dave,
hanging out at the farmers market, sitting on the curb, waiting for hexy to come back. Always a nice feeling--the safety of Sunday morning, the hustle bustle of the market, and the anticipation of the new week. I seemed to have settled into this 6 day work week, and Sunday is jammed with restful activities. Remi in the woods, coffee and bagel at starbucks, maybe visiting mom and dad. Just no long hikes back from Safeway. That's all I ask.

I smell basil, and it smells great.

dear dave

corcoran today. Tired but productive. Almost done printing for the day. Made a last minute save that I'm happy about. This computer I'm using sucks! so I'm going to stop here.

ok, maybe I'll type a bit more.

Artomatic shift last night. They sort of take me to my mental limit. And I'm actually considering a part time job. Just imagine what that could do to me.

anyway, 5 hours becomes endless. I couldn't wait to be done. one more shift in July. Thank God its put off until then.

Feel sort of brain dead right now. Printing takes a lot out of me. Postcards on the board at corcoran have been push pinned to death. I guess people are curious about whats on the back.

new prints for sale

In honor of Farrah passing away, I'm posting the above picture from the Drag Race 07 -- Angels in Chains. Of course I always loved Farrah as a young secretly gay boy, and have some memory of wanting to be her. The other Angels were fine, but she was perfection. I could just look at her for days. She had such a glow. Other-worldly.

Anyway, its sad to hear she died, and MJ too. Such a weird combination of news. So summer.

What is next? I feel like we are living in a lull. Very typical of summer. Everything is on hold. The war is all but forgotten. The economy is still bad, but I think everybody is sick of worrying about it. I am. The election is over, but now we have settled into the blahs.

the keeper of the rack

my new friend keeps watch over FREEHAND t's

production

dear dave,

in this morning a little late. Went to the gym (!) and home depot. I keep needing more wood! Finally getting to production on Artomatic pieces, which will make hexy super happy.

Still feel good. Happy.

Lots to do today. Paint, cut, nail, stain, email. And draw. fun stuff.

over and out

on a roll!

I am on such a high right now.

NOTHING CAN DRAG ME DOWN!

Such a fun afternoon shooting pictures with Dave and Jason (& Tan). Im so happy with the results, but more importantly, with my life right now. I am flying!

Things are coming together, and I can just see the growth. I'm really really loving my work. And the cool people I am working with. I have made this happen for myself, and I feel so accomplished.

Here is to following your heart - your dreams. Being as you are. feeling hopeful, and excited, and creative. And taking risks.

I'm so much more then I was. So much happier. I have made the right choice.



I am free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dear dave,

feeling overwhelmed with my to do list this morning, I just came to the realization that this is how life will be. If I'm offering up art and shirts, I will probably always be in the position of filling orders, and that takes work. Always feeling like I am behind. Reminds me of my days of print ordering at bsur. So much like that. Just when you have the order settled, along comes another medium to add in, upsetting the entire apple cart. So familiar, yet so removed!

Big day today with Jason and Dave. Made some fun shirts last night, so I'm anxious to see how they look. Last night I had this sinking feeling that I need to wipe out my men's bench, and go for different guys altogether. I need sexy skinny awkwards, and I have smoldering jocks. Will need to figure this all out fast. Feel like the girls are cast well. I love the idea of working with them!

Anyway, I have prints to print, shirts to order, bills to pay, and pics to take. One step at a time. And no surfing!!

dear dave,

yesterday was cool. Meeting Lindsay was a good shot in the arm. Im exciting to get womens shirts up and running. Today I meet Allie, and Im really excited about her as well.

Its so much fun to see things moving along. I like the direction I'm headed, and feel like things are paying off. The website. The photography. The drawing. The printing. Its sort of coming together. Or leading somewhere. And I'm really happy about that.

I have my to do list, so I guess I should concentrate on that. All the distractions are calling me.

Jimmy 6-21-09

whirlwind

Dear Dave,

The past few days have brought a lot. New customers, new ideas, new venues, new approaches, new projects, old anxieties.
All very exciting to think about and reflect on.

This morning I was so sluggish, not wanting to face the new week. I'm not sure why.

Show was pretty good, and gave my t-shirt seeds some much needed fertilizer. All very positive and happy. The new rack is a major help, and pushes the shirts to new heights. I'm super happy with it.

I have a lot of "to dos", which maybe I'm not so good at. Follow thru will be KEY.

Hopes and dreams are taking shape, and I'm loving that.

--------

Ok, now back to nuts and bolts.
Fathers day in Rockville was nice and accomplished. Jimmy making slow progress, but it sort of feels like progress. Took Remi to the canal afterwards, and it felt really nice walking up the path at dusk, with her tagging along thru the this grass. Seemed like old times, and I felt comfort.

LOVE my new snappy iphone. A good get. Im super happy with my decision (as always).

Coffee with Beverly was so nourishing this morning. I feel super satisfied!

Life is random, and I feel fine

the benefactor

yesterday a letter came to the studio for me from "the benefactor". My studio mates seemed to instantly know what it was about, because there had just been an article about this in the Post. Anyway, here is the link if you are interested. I'm one of the chosen, which is an honor.

I used to worship andrew Smith. I think I still do. Oh andrew!

dear dave,

working on show. scattered a bit. Lots of little details to attend to.

Starting to think beyond the show. Shirts and Prints and website refresh. The list is growing.

bits

dear dave,

busy day at corcoran. finished prints for show (above).

lost out on shooting Dave this week, but oh well. (was looking forward to it) (always)
Tomorrow and Friday will be tough - getting everything together. But I can!

got new shirts in. better
get iphone Friday! awesome

updated home page - cool!

dogs get lost, cats go missing

dear dave,

on my way in this morning, I saw a missing cat sign. Made me think.

Anyway, feel sort of rough this morning. Cloudy head. Like a wave of residual upset decided to flood in. I'm anxious for it to find its way back out, and quick.

Bought a lot of wood for all my printing projects. Every penny spent is becoming painful and bloody. A wave of fear overcomes me. Am I making the right choice? I hate that feeling. Obviously its much for fun to spend freely. But I'm afraid I've been doing way too much "freely" lately. The pendulum is swinging back. Everybody get out of the way!!

Anyway (again), I spent a bunch of time yesterday working out the prints for the show. Changes kept creeping in, so I'm not sure how settled I am yet. This morning I need to get my butt over to the corcoran and get started.

On a more positive note: things are good. Im feeling creative and energized. I'm excited for myself. The future is mine. My time is mine. The choice is mine. I am living a dream life. For now.

Over and out.

A perfect moment, on a perfect morning.

Hexy and I went strawberry picking Sunday (third year), and it was so beautiful in the fields. The berries had just about peaked, but we managed to find what we needed.

The perfect ending - fresh strawberry shortcake last night. YUMMMMMM

breakdown

Ha! the story is the same each year.

MAJOR anticipation and build up which leads to massive desire, followed by shame and retreat. Then I finally breakdown and buy the new iphone in a frenzy of panic and excitement and despair.

I was determined not to break down this year, when I am most not in the need of an update. But I wanted it. I WANT IT. So I ordered one. I feel guilty, and not quit at peace with my decision, but in the end, on my deathbed, I'm sure I will feel differently.

Apple, you have me in your clutches. Always did, and probably always will.

From my first Apple Macintosh 512K Enhanced, to my 24"iMac/16GB iphone 3G, there is a straight line of happiness, creativity, and fulfillment.

ok, now I feel happy about my new iphone!

production go

dear dave.

Little mistakes make big improvements.

Got to the corcoran today, and hated my boards from last night. I made the right move, and redid them just now at the studio. MUCH better.

Got a report last night that my postcards are all out at artomatic. That is really strange. Either they are a big success, or somebody is just taking them all. I can't believe they went out one or two at a time. There must have been close to 350 there (since Saturday). That can't be possible.

Anyway, working and happy. Excited to push art out, and see where it ends up. And still on my high from yesterday. Thanks to Dave and pet shop boys. The PERFECT fuel.

sunset

dear dave,

the week is over, and I'm leaving on an up note.

pet shop boys make me so happy

-Worked hard for Jimmy today - which feels good. I love her so much, and want her to feel better.

-Shot new pics of Dave, and I'm really loving it. What a great guy. I feel really lucky to have found him. I am so inspired by him.

Tomorrow is all about printing.

Good night

it all came crashing down

dear dave,

I've decided to institute blog titles, when applicable.

Somehow things have come to crushing blows, and I'm not sure how to get out from under this rock. Maybe I just shouldn't be checking Analytics at all. What does it mean anyway? (its a measure for God's sake - a measure of how interesting I am. OR how well I'm doing) Anyway, I feel crushed. Time to pick myself up, and move on.

With what?

-prints for the show
-shirts for the shoot
-other stuff.

Go west young men! Life is peaceful there.

(So much angst for a Friday morning!)

it works itself out

dear dave,

Thursdays are great. I feel safe. Fun things to do, then the weekend! This weekend is class/artists night/strawberry picking. Its all busy.

I can't seem to make it back to Artomatic to drop my new trees. It always seems so far away. Hopefully I can make it today or tomorrow. There is always tomorrow.

Today is about pulling together art for Saturday at the Corcoran. Studio show coming up soon. I have committed to one piece, but I don't know how that will play out with the others. I was originally thinking about more framed pieces. We'll see...

More photography tomorrow. Excited about that.

dear dave,

Im put-out and put-off, but that will fade.

The future will rush in like a wave on the beach, and wash this discomfort away.

All that will be left is foam and bubbles, and percolating sand.

other fun shirts I've made recently (for Hadria)



TURTLE and SQUIRREL (although its been pointed out to me on many occasions that this looks much more like a cat, and I must agree!)

friend of the Week (9)

This week its PAULA! Many thanks to Paula for her inspiration and help on the Gary T. I think it turned out great, and I'm happy it all worked out so beautifully! Thanks darlin!

Get your limited edition Gary T here!

dear dave,

Couple things:

1. phone detox- I did pretty well for a few days, but easily fell back into old patterns. I am rededicating myself to the cause, because I can see all the damage it is starting to do. I'm thinking that my phone has been a big contributor to my scattered head. Always changing channels and reloading. A constant need for distraction and updating. I want to move to a calmer, restful place in my head. I really feel all over the place, and all I want is f o c u s. The more conscious I am of all this, the better I will do.

2. Actually related to 1. I was so excited to get the NEW iphone, only to discover it wasn't going to be subsidized by ATT, and so it would cost ALOT. Feeling super ripped off, I can't bring myself to spend the money. Which is a GOOD thing, because I would much rather invest it in myself (branddave), AND, why do I need more phone when I want and NEED less?

3. T-shirts. I'm all over the place when it comes to this. What to make? What shirts? Why do I have so much trouble photographing them? Where am I going? I don't have answers, but I'm determined to keep searching. I think they are key to my success. Were and will be.

4. Photography - Again, where am I going? What am I hoping to get out of it? (funny, because I'm asking these questions, but I know the answers. I'm just afraid of them. To admit them...)

5. Gym - If I'm going to stay a member, I have to work out. I need to search deep inside myself, and pull out that resolve. Work out damn it! It makes you feel good! It improves your life. There is NO downside. Make that investment in yourself.

dear dave,

I have been so down on myself. Sucks to feel this way.

I think it started Saturday, when I let the entire day slip away from me. Things just continued downhill from there. Went to ARTOMATIC saturday night, and just as I feared and dreaded, my poor trees had dried up. I hadn't been there to water them for almost a week, so I expected the worst.

That made me feel like such a failure. I feel so bad for letting them die. Taking them from the woods, and killing them. That's just not right.

All my postcards were taken, and a few nasty comments were left in my book. Made me feel a little shitty I guess. Not a lot of positives to go with many negatives. Nobody felt compelled to write anything positive? I'm not really sure how to interpret that.

We walked the show a bit, but it gets overwhelming pretty fast. I'm planning to go back Wednesday with new trees, and more postcards. I think the lesson is to just check in often, and keep a positive attitude.

I feel sort of crazed about my photos from Saturday. I just CANT seem to get a collection together that makes me content. I will just have to settle with what I've done, and move on. I'm not sure what that's about.

I took Remi for a long(ish) walk in rock Creek Sunday. A chance to relax and recharge. I love the woods - they feed me. All the smells and sounds. Remi usually goes wild, but the heat made her sluggish.

Its funny, because she is EXACTLY the same dogs as the tiny puppy I picked up 7 years ago, July 2nd. All her little quirks were in place and ingrained. The stopping and smelling. The crazy puddle energy bursts. The food hunting (totally ignoring me). She's my baby! My wonderful Remi

dear dave-

what happened to my day??? Somehow I have highjacked it - sitting at my desk at the studio, editing pictures of Ryan from this morning. I get into a groove, and I cannot tear myself away.

Now its 3;50 -- and I feel lost. Like waking up from an afternoon nap. How do I rip myself away, and MOVE ON? Im paralyzed.

dear dave,

Good thing is drawing was successful.. The bad thing, I spent way too much time doing it.

Now its 6, I gotta go home and feed Remi, then hit the gym, then hit artomatic. And not prepared for tomorrow. Shoot or print.

Damn.

dear dave,

some things are off my list, but it's still long.

Rainy morning. It feels safe here in the studio. Gayle and Satareh are talking in the background, and my window is s l i g h t l y open. Its wet and gloomy outside, but my lights are glowing and soft. My coffee is done, and I need to change the music.

I think I will give myself a half an hour to draw, and post it afterwards.

until then...

dear dave,

yesterday was a high. I LOVE taking pictures. I was in heaven. So glad to be living this life right now.

Dave was alot of fun, and I'm really excited and inspired by him. Jason came later, and it was a really different vibe, but also really fun. I would love the chance to consistently shoot him also, so hopefully we can work something out. I kept is short last night, which I regret a little bit, but felt at the time like it was a good time to break. Anyway, this is soooooooo much fun. better then drawing, better then printing. I really love it. I really do.

More shirts to make and photograph. More drawings of pugs to do. More prints to plan. More emails to send. I have a lot to do, but instead, Im blogging, and editing photos. Love it.

new shirts!

dear dave,

I feel out of sorts without my coffee. Maybe I should go back up the hill and get it!

Fun (potential) day today. Shooting Jason and Dave. And have a new guy set up for Saturday. Should be cool.

Made a bunch of shirts yesterday. Some good, some misses. Dark shirts do not work. Sort of disappointing. And I'm not so sure about the turtle. We'll see. Squirrel looks great, and I love the dog. A perfect compliment to Artomatic!

Seek and you shall find: Hexy and I found a GREAT rolling rack at Good Wood, but its not cheap, so I decided it was unaffordable (but I STILL want it!!) Anyway, I was walking a different way to the gym, and found one "in the trash" for free, so we hauled it back to the apartment last night. I'm still trying to think of how I can get the Good Wood one, because that is what I want! Maybe I can work magic!

Excited to get back into the studio at the Corcoran. Plan to be productive. Have to be productive.

My head is elsewhere. time to get moving.

dear dave,

I am officially on internet/iphone DETOX. Things have gotten out of control, and I need to make a change. I am seriously addicted to checking all these sites and my email for updates. Its like a slot machine, I'm constantly hoping for something new to look at/read/respond to. Every lull is an opportunity for checking in. I need to stop- its really becoming an obsession.

Tomorrow is a big day - shooting three guys. Today is all about preparing. And that is rough! That is where the anxiety comes in. But the flip side is to just have fun and be excited. Don't freak out.

Show coming up at the studio soon, so I need to plan that. And concentrate more on shirts. And the website. All these plans!

Found a thumbdrive while walking Remi the other day. Of course I picked it up, because I am ALWAYS curious about what I am going to find. Anyway, it was all personal stuff that I didn't care to look thru, but I managed to find the owner, and returned it to him last night. What are the odds that he would ever be reunited with that little thing? He gave me some itunes giftcards, so it was well worth it! Depeche Mode, here I come!

oh man -

I have been sooooooooooooo lax on adding to FREEHAND. I need to draw.

Please forgive me, and check back sooooon.

MONDAY!!!

dear dave,

It's a new day, a new week, and a new month.

Reaction to ARTOMATIC has been great. I think I might even be on track to sell-out. Ok ok, that may be an overstatement, but I'm excited to be selling. That is the right path for me to be on. Now I just need to keep the forward momentum!

I was so busy last week getting it all together. The saplings from Rock Creek. The last minute photo printing. The little sign. The price cards.

When 6pm Friday finally came, I was emotionally and physically exhausted. But the opening was great - thanks to Lee and Bill and Eric (and Michael). It was nice to see the familiar faces, and to see all the people streaming out of the staircase doors, straight to my work.

Everything worked as planned, and I feel accomplished.

Now I have a lot to do, which is great. So I better get to it (now!).