Worked on framing everything today, which is a bigger job then I expected.

I'll be bringing it all up to Red Tree Monday.  Think it's all in order, but I have a full day tomorrow finishing up shirts and prints.

Had a really studio visit with Julia Bernard yesterday.  Always nice to talk about my work, and get feedback.  Added a little (much needed) wind in my sails today.  It's been too long...

feeling worse, now better.  Hopefully a positive upswing.

dear dave,

here is a lousy shot of the gaggle prints I've been working on. Had a long day yesterday trying to finish it up. What should have taken an hour and a half took 3. Always works out that way.

Tonight is the high heel race down 17th, and I'm focused on that. I could be at the corcoran starting a new print, but I'm still unsure what to do next. I feel a little stuck. I think I'm going to take it easy today, because I'm concerned that I'm getting run down. I need to be healthy for the next few weeks.

What to print next? Hmmmm

dear dave,

Waiting on my screens to dry at the corcoran studio.  Gaggle (remix) almost done.  I just have a few more passes to make.

So that means it took about 10 hours total.  Seems like a lot, but didn't feel like so much.  Glad to have two solid prints out of the run.

Now I need to worry about tomorrow.  I really want to redo You Disappoint Me with brighter colors, but feel like that is a bit of a waste.  I need to do that elusive 11th look (project runway).  That quick piece that fills a gap thats missing.  Hmmm, that sets me off spinning, because I don't know what it should be.

Had a good weekend.  Hopefully I can update a bit more as the week goes on, and I get gradually more comfortable with what I have done and the choices I've made.  Time is running out on Red Tree.  Hope I've gone down the right path!

update:

Progress!  Feel good about my gaggle work today.  And meeting, and decision about TW wholesale.

Hopefully tomorrow I can make major progress on Gaggle.  Maybe even finish it up!  We'll see.

Happy to have a few steps behind me.  Feeling more positive for a change.

today I'm finally getting to the gaggle redo I've been avoiding.

 It's a big project with a lot of steps, so it's something I've been worried about accomplishing. But I had it in my head that I wanted to do one for Red Tree, and this is the time to do it.

Waiting for 9:30, when I can pick up my zipcar and take the boards to the corcoran. Then come back, drop car, go back to corcoran and actually start working (for only a few hours).

 Then come back around 3, get shirts, make shirts, ship shirts.

Steps! All day, baby steps.

Peter Oct 21


Dear Dave,

Shot some pics of Peter today, and picked up boards at Home Depot for Gaggle Remix. A good, productive day.

Still feeling anxious about my fate. All in the balance.

Note: 48" boards with not fit in zipcar. Learned the hard way.

dear dave.

spent day in studio, working on "framing" and drawing. Not much going on - which is kind of sucky. I feel anxious.

dear dave,

meeting up with Kim and erin and Mer soon.  Excited about that.

I had another stressful day of stressing.  I got to the Corcoran early and reprinted "Gull".  That took all of 90 minutes, so I was left without anything else set-up.  I can't afford to waste printing time, but that's what seemed to happen.

Back at my studio I realized I had a lot already done.  Probably too much.  But I still feel like I need more.  So the rest of the afternoon was spent working out new prints.  Went pretty well, but I swear the time just flies by.  It's already almost 6, which means it's past the time I should be leaving.

So I'm off.

Image:  Bear/Owl make another appearance!

Sitting in the little computer closet at the corcoran, waiting for my screens to dry.  Excruciatingly impatient as I wait.  Everybody has their screens bunched up at each dryer, so it takes double the time.  I just cant rush around.  It's pointless.

think I found a good solution for salvaging my work from saturday (winterberry), so I feel good about that at least.  It just means multiple screens and SLOW progress.  I need to dial down to first gear if I'm going to make it work.

I have a solid two weeks to wrap up my work for Red Tree.  I need to regroup and see what I have all together, so I use my time wisely.  I've been stalling on Gaggle, unsure if I want to go through all the hoops to get it done.  I want to be able to come up with a re-mix (a new variation) but I'm stumped at the moment.  Probably will just end up with the original set-up.

I've been soooooooooooooooooooooo unsure of myself lately.  It's bad.  I need that confidence to move forward.  It's like lubricant.  It greases the gears and keeps moving things forward.  Hard things.  I'm desperate to feel positive about what I'm doing.

Corcoran, corcoran, corcoran. You're killing me! Turns out they have a big printing conference/demo planned for the studio this afternoon, so we really couldn't stay past class to print.

Started winterberry, but couldn't finish. I've been having such a tough run at printing the past few weeks. Super easy things are giving me trouble. So I find myself constantly trying to cover up my flubs. Either that or start over, which doesn't seem possible. Anyway, hopefully I can improve what I did today.

Took remi out for a much needed run afterwards. Except for the many ticks that hitched a ride on her, it was a fun time.

This whole evita thing has gotten out of hand.  It's in my head ALWAYS.  when I go to bed, when I wake up.  Sitting at my computer working.  Driving.  Man - they really seeped into my entire being.  I feel a little sickened.

Productive morning printing.  Had to cut it short because a class was coming in.  There I was, moving along, loving my solitude, when the lab tech showed up and ruined everything.  Suddenly I had to wrap everything up in a matter of minutes.  Sucked.

I'm doing reprints of You Disappoint me, and Winterberry, for the Red Tree show.  It's nice to do something familiar.  Nice and kind of boring -- and nerve wracking because I know just how I want them to be.  I'm trying to match the originals.

You disappoint me came out well, so I was happy.  Winterberry will have to be continued tomorrow.

I didn't see Peter or Dave this week.  I feel a little bummed out that the light is changing, and I won't be able to do much more going forward.  Probably a good thing because I can concentrate on other things - but sad nonetheless.

Suddenly I feel so melancholy!  So typical for Friday.

dear dave,

yesterday I cut out of here early, and got the massage I've been planning for.  It was TERRIFIC - and well worth it!

today I had a big to do list, and got through about half of it.  But the biggest thing I was worried about I solved, so that weighs heavily towards the productive side.

It's 6:35, and I feel like I want my day to start right now.  I ALWAYS have such creative energy at this time.  But I need to get home to Hexy and Remi, so I'm turning off my evita, sleeping my computer, clicking off my lights, and locking the door.

Tomorrow is another day.


goodnight

Just painting over the print I made today.  That takes care of that!

what a messy day at the corcoran!  A SUPER easy print turned into a nightmare.  Happy to be back to my studio, and done for the day!

Old Europe tonight with Barb and cheryl and (sam?)  Should be fun!

blogger is crazy!  Every post I writing gets formated all strange.  How do I figure this out (easily?)

Back to the corcoran this afternoon.  Yesterday was productive, and hopefully today will be too.  I'm so lucky to have all this time to work there.

It's really hard managing my time.  I get to the studio, then leave, then need to pick up packages at home, then need to get to the post office.  Other stuff just doesnt get done until Wednesday or Thursday.  I need to just be settled with that I guess.

Shoot with Dave on thursday was really frustrating, and I'm lost with how to proceed.  I don't want to cut it off, but can't continue without getting anywhere.  Maybe the clouds will split, and I'll get a magical answer.  I hope so.

TW orders slowed.  WTF?

dear dave,

this will have to be my new system, posting pictures and text separately.  I am still so frustrated with blogger.

It's a warm monday.  My air conditioner is out of the window, our building heat is turned on, and it's warm again outside.  Ridiculous!

Updates:

I am still on my crazy Evita kick.  I think Tom is going to kill me, because all he ever hears coming out of my studio is Madonna singing these ridiculous songs about Peron.  I just love it.  I play it over and over and over.  I really have no idea what vein it has tapped into, but at this point, I'm still super satisfied.

Saturday printing went pretty well, but I'm not totally at peace with that pink bird.  All the colors feel a little to deep. Blah!  It's not really possible to change now.

(Not much of an update after all.  I see that it's noon, and that means I have to go.  Maybe I'll get back to it later)

Such a busy couple of days. Today I was running from thing to thing-it was crazy! Corcoran-Peter-post office-Wachovia.

I feel behind. I'm sweating My red tree deadline.

I dropped the ball a bit towards the end if today, and now feel bad, because I'm not as prepared as planned for printing tomorrow. Ahhh-printing is a hungry beast! Eating all my time up.

Love my pics of Peter. Boxers were a fun change of pace. And the weather was killer. We lucked out! Pics will be fun to add to tightewhities. But that will have to wait for well into next week. Among other things.

Shoot with Dave not so great. I've lost my flow with him-and can't seem to get it back. Somethings not working anymore-and it's killing me! Cold weather coming anyway, so shooting will be on hold till spring anyway. Probably good to find a new face. We'll see...

dear dave,

Today is my birthday (again).  They come around fast!  Usually I copy in my horoscope for the year, but I don't really have to umph to search around the web for one.  So I won't!

Had breakfast with Hexy at the diner.  I think we both were anxious to start our days.  We ate in about 15 minutes.  It took longer to drive there!

I have a busy day planned full of logistics, so instead of being calm and relaxed, I feel stressed!  Meetings and photo shoots, and de-installations and drop offs and sauce-cake making.  It's an ambitious agenda.

I always need to think ahead for printmaking, and it's usually a struggle.  As much as I want to create in the moment, I need to plan for getting all the pieces together, lined up, prepared and ready to assemble.  I had to coerce myself to make a trip to Home Depot this morning.  If I didn't, I know I would end up unprepared for Monday/Tuesday printing.  So I went, spent $, and am probably better for it.

November will be here soon, and I need to feel prepared.  Fighting with all my strength NOT to drop the ball -- all that time gone, and not enough work to show for it.  I'm forging ahead.  I will succeed!

work is stacking up, which is a great thing.

My birthday is tomorrow.

I feel content!

blogger's new software is KILLING me.  I just lost a post after trying to edit it.

So now I'm frustrated, and not really in the mood to rewrite it.

Oh well.

Spent most of the day at the corcoran, finishing up bear owl wilson (below).  Took wayyyy longer then I expected, so now I'm behind.  Hopefully I can catch up Friday.  I have so much planned.

I'm getting regular tightewhitie orders, which is great!  Hopefully the stream turns into a flow.  I would love that.  Shooting with Peter friday, which should be interesting considering the new instant-winter we seem to be experiencing.  Hopefully it warms up a bit.

Also seeing Dave Thursday.  So unsure about what to shoot.  We'll see.  I know what I WANT to do, but that still doesnt seem to be an option...

Dear dave,

I've started this post 3 times now! What to write? Suddenly I'm not sure!

I'm not so talky lately. I'm getting really internal and insulated with my thoughts. Probably because they have been kind of dark and negative, and I really don't want this blog to be a constant moan fest.

Spent the weekend with Hex mostly. We celebrated Ronnie's bday, and trekked around the neighborhood. Went to crafty bastards and the flea market.

Crafty Bastards- made me all uptight and mixed up. It all became this big giant blob of t-shirts and prints and little crafty things. All looked very much the same, but shared a lot of motifs that I've been doing as well. It made me confused about the direction I'm taking, and want to take and should take! How to be distinct. Not too this or that.

It's so easy to compare yourself with other people, artists, brands, artwork, and get confused about where you measure up. It's a tar pit of second guessing, self doubt and frustration. I pretty much pulled myself out of it, but here I am, writing about it, and I feel myself getting sucked back in.

ANYWAY - also of note: Hex and I made our annual trek up Georgia Ave. to the thrift store to pull together our High Heel Race outfits. This year we will be tennis players. So funny, because it always takes a while to find the pieces, but with a little perseverance, they always suddenly come together. Like the inks at G&G. I would always say to myself: " I know you are here somewhere!" and I'd find them.

This morning I was all set to devote the day to printing, got to the Corcoran, and discovered that yet again, the studio was closed for a special event.  Blah!  Felt sort of excited to be able to go back to the studio and catch up on prep work, only to squander the time doing a lot of nothing (but fretting).

I can't let this day escape without being productive on something!

But I feel stuck on everything.  And I don't like when months turn over.  It just means that I owe money.  More money, out the door...

Corcoran closed tomorrow too, so I won't be getting back to printing until Monday.

I guess I'm just feeling a little constipated.  I'm not able to print, I haven't been shooting pictures, I'm not really drawing, and I'm not selling so much.  Things are not flowing like they should.  I need flow.

I did manage to tweak my site.  Nice to keep things fresh.