Tuesday, March 4, 2014

dear dave,

I'm so hard on myself, but in this moment, I'm feeling accomplished and proud.

Doing the sort of thing I'm great at, working on my own, and succeeding.  Feels pretty fucking good.

- - - - - - -
saturdays at the corcoran have been a struggle this year.  I don't know what gets into me, but I just lag and slag and make stupid mistakes that draws everything out.  i want to be all efficient and inspired, but instead the days just drag.  In the end, all works out, but I feel like it could be so much better.

anyway, this saturday I finished some loose ends, made more seagulls, a "later, bitches", and some glove you's.  All fine and good.

Saturday night was hot-pot at Sheons.  A great big feast, I just wish it was more to my liking.  A fun social night though.

Sunday I was so happy to have off.  Took Remi to great Falls, then Rockville.  Nice to have some 1 on 1 with jimmy.  Amazed at how far she came last year, and frightened by how fragile it all really is.  Just focus on the positive and now, I tell myself. Then I worry more.

Monday the snow came early, as expected.  Not as bad as a few weeks ago, but enough to stay home and veg out.  Mid-day I felt let-down as the snow tapered off.  I'm always such a kid with the snow.  I want it to be paralyzing and exciting, streets covered and not passable.  I always hate when it fizzles and melts fast.

Instead of doing the RIGHT thing and going into the studio, I convinced myself the day was lost to the snow, and I should stay put.  Not the greatest choice, but my choice nonetheless.  VERY typical dave.  Hex on the other hand slogged to the gym.  Typical Hexy.  Such a role model of discipline.

Today turned into a shit show early on.  Messes and miscommunications that got me so worked up and upset.  But then it just all worked out, beautifully.

Which takes me to just now, the last hour or so.  I sat down, focused, and came up with some great ideas for HM (10 due this friday).  Creative ideas that I'm excited about, and excited to submit.  No pain or angst or anxiety or upset.  They just flowed out.  And that makes me really proud, and happy.

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