dear dave

8pm friday, and listening to the sound of silence, a masterpiece.  I just love it.

Strange holiday season.  Everything just chugging along, but my urgency (and stress) is abated.  There is a weird sense of calm.  Maybe orders are way down?  I don't know.  I have LOTS to do, but it feels manageable.

Haha, we'll see.

Thinking about Jimmy today as I walked by this bush decorated with those classic bulbs we always used.  Thinking about going there in December, pre Hex even, and setting up the tree for / with her.  Our special little time together.  Ugh, it's so hard.  Always in the back of my mind as we go by these weeks, a year later.  I'm hesitant to look back and find the day she actually died.  Maybe better not to be so exact about it.  I don't know.  What a loss.  Remembering her is so bittersweet.  On so many levels I feel relieved, or free of the burden of all the worry.  Lighter, and future pointing.  And having the $ cushion, boy does that change things.  It's all so sad, and I don't want to be sad anymore.