Friday, January 31, 2014

went back and read January 31st entries, back to 2007.  A nice perspective and mood changer.

07 starting, Hudson, just met Hex
08 stressing about fucker, after having gotten through the last catalog, and putting in my time
09 4903 show, excitement about NEW chapter, people, experiences
10 moving my studio downtown, excited and on my way
11 blah and bored and not inspired
12 still kind of blah, cards and prints pending (forshadow a big year)
13 Focused on Buzz and Axis show and Hex and cards
14 ANXIOUS!  to move things along.  Get printing and selling and drawing.  January 14 has been kind of terrible.  Sick for a week, polar vortex weather, car troubles.  Has had it's ups, but my work habits have SUCKED.  I just want to improve.

It's always a pivital time.  Coming out of a slow month after the holidays.  Unable to print. short days and cold, then Jimmy's bday, warmish weather, more momentum, and fast approaching spring.  I'm at a cusp.
anxious about:


hope all goes well.  Feel like I'm in a future vise, and just want to wigggle out.  Or jump to the other side.  


Hello sunday afternoon!

Thursday, January 30, 2014

ok day. better then yesterday. still cold.

ive only just begun

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

very draggy day.

a few things accomplished , but nothing to be excited about.  no word on HM.  Prepped printing.  Figured out how to make GIF's easily.  And edited website.

feels very much like a hide and shelter day.  WAAAAAY too much surfing, and little actual work.  Blah.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

a good follow-up to yesterday's productivity!  Finished up HM in record time.  Finished up (?).  we'll see.

Getting anxious about Saturday's return to printing.  A new class/teacher/circumstance to deal with and work out.  Ugh.  I have a big long list of prints that need to be made, so the pressure is on to be surgical.

super crazy cold, still.  But it's suppossed to relax, so I'm just staying positive.

time to leave!
let remi out!
call jimmy!
go to the gym!
and meet hexy for burgers.

( ) 8 days

Monday, January 27, 2014

good, productive drawing day (hallmark).

New jobs which is exciting.  THings seemed to flow - and it feels great.  Wish so bad I could have the same mojo for the dogs!

Warmer morning with sun and peace is turned into FREEZING night with wind and misery.  Anxious to get past this horrible weather.

Today's muse > Beck.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Sunday noon:

hex back! But busy with work and errands, so it's like an extra day with him away
Decided to redo teaism, and am happy for it.
Love this place!
The food (cilantro eggs, chicken sausage, Assam black tea)
The ambiance -hustle bustle attractive couples. Gritty girls with sexy boyfriends.
Sizzling stove and anxiety. Where to sit??? Once you are situated, you are set.

Bummer blah day yesterday doing NOTHING. Typical. Very familiar from years ago. Luckily I've left those days behind. A temporary lapse while hex was away.

Must rev up engines, forgive my Xtreme laziness, and chug ahead.

Thanks to teaism for all the stimulation.  I feel like I was shocked back to life. Maybe all it was was the tea?

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Yellow cake


Brady bunch
Rich kids
Golden girls

What a stupid day!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Super cold, super hate

Everything went great last night!  Finished up dr office in little over 3 hours.  big job!

Late starts (without HExy).  I see now how incredibly sluggish I really am, left to my own devices.

A little progress was made here and there today.  Not the banner day, but a little better then the past few days.

Anxious for weather to warm up
to be able to use my car again
to print again
for Hexy to come home!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

snow came and went, and all we have left is wind, cold and salt.

Poor ms Remi this morning -- so bothered on her paws.  Happy to discover a path out back that has been left untreated.  Looks like we won't be walking our usual paths for the next few days.

Work has been so (so-so).  Was mini productive today, but more becasue of guilt and boredom then creative motivation.  I'm getting more and more despearte to move out of the blah phase.  Hoping to hit rock bottom soon.

Hexy still away, and tonight is my big night (cleaning dr. office).  A little dread mixed with anxiousness to get it completed.

Monday, January 20, 2014

hex is away, and it's fun to see how I am without him (sluggish).

Loved HER saturday.

Stilted parcheesi games in Rockville yesterday.

tiny furniture last night.

slow start this morning.

The open week is ahead of me.  I pray for productivity and motivation.  An urge.  I've been sitting with this malaise for way too long now.

We shall see. . .

Friday, January 17, 2014



Wednesday, January 15, 2014

new car battery ($200)
still getting better - 7 days in

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

dear dave,

Somebody commented on ALONE (what chain of events led to this ridiculous moment, me sitting in the park, alone?), and it got me thinking about the memory behind it.

When I wrote it, it just came out without much thought.  But I know it's connected to a moment senior year in college.  I would borrow my grandmother's car, drive around town, and get donughts late night, after they were just cooked.

Sundays we were on our own to eat dinner, no cafeteria.  I remember driving to a park one spring night, sitting there by myself, eating something (mcDonalds??) in the car, and feeling so lonely.

All the fun and friends from months before were evaporating.  Kelly was in italy.  The other Kelly was busy with Matt.  Kristof was screwing his girlfriend, Dave had his.  I just remember feeling so alone, and wondering why.

Verdi Cries

The man in 119 takes his tea all alone. 
Mornings we all rise to wireless Verdi cries. 
I'm hearing opera through the door. 
The souls of men and women, impassioned all. 
Their voices climb and fall; battle trumpets call. 
I fill the bath and climb inside, singing. 

He will not touch their pastry 

but every day they bring him more. 
Gold from the breakfast tray, I steal them all away 
and then go and eat them on the shore. 

I draw a jackal-headed woman in the sand, 

sing of a lover's fate sealed by jealous hate 
then wash my hand in the sea. 
With just three days more I'd have just about learned the entire score to Aida. 

Holidays must end as you know. 

All is memory taken home with me: 
the opera, the stolen tea, the sand drawing, the verging sea, all years ago.

Natalie Merchant

Monday, January 13, 2014

dear dave,

back at my desk, after 5 shitty days moping, sleeping, drinking, and driving hexy crazy.

it's nice to be up and running again, even though I'm 65%.  Of course the car battery ran out, after 7 days of not being driven.  We packed in this morning, only to pack out.  45 minutes (!!) on hold with Geico, only to hang up and get through later.

My brain and body is muddled and mushy.  Postholiday blahs plus bad cold = bad.  Somehow it feels kind of familiar.  I think if i could research the past, I'd find similar health patterns in years past.

Anyway, there is stuff to do, and I'm in charge.  I need to just rev up, and plow ahead.


Saturday, January 11, 2014

Getting better, but not well.  Day 4:(
House hunters
Law and order
Christie news
Hot pad
Rag bag

Friday, January 10, 2014



Zero week. All I can hope is to get healthy! (I will)

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Sick past few days.  Boo

Tuesday, January 7, 2014


record low today.  Walked to studio with Hexy this morning, and now need to walk home (and let Remi out)

Finished up valentines today, which kind of shocks me.  Sale at VP was a good incentive.  Besides, they are most fun when not thought out too much and picked over in editing.  Made a last minute break from pink on one, hope that was a good choice.

Monday, January 6, 2014

L A Z Y sunday spent watching CRIMINAL INTENT with hexy.

Dog days of winter have settled in.  A month of mondays…

major cold coming over night, so we all brace for the worst.  Not much to report from work.  Scheduled Peter for a shoot, and drew.  Beginning stages though - nothing sticking.  Inspiration factor = 0.

GOALS:  new cards, valentines, BOXERS, new prints.

(thinking about trying to print at Carolines, just to keep going.  Sucks to loose a whole month of productivity.  I tell myself no - until I think of it again.)

Saturday, January 4, 2014

funny day.

no corcoran, so I spent the day in studio (felt a little like detention).  It's freezing out, but sunny.

Somehow I managed to spend the day sitting at my desk, surfing web, screwing off, drawing, organizing OLD papers, and who knows what else.  But here it is 5:30, and I'm actually ready to leave.

I feel like a weirdo.

JANUARY IS SUCH A MONDAY.  I will survive it.

(I AM OBSESSED with my photography, models, and tweaking it all my website -- actually everything on my website.  I can't stop picking at it. crazy)

Friday, January 3, 2014

not much to say.  kind of a loser day.

finished Allie's PC, which came out great.

got rid of scrap wood, which is terrific.

COLD COLD COLD, and dark now, and icey.  I have to walk home, Friday night, unproductive.  blah.

welcome to (bleak) January.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

happy new year!

hex and I rang in the new year watching CNN, texting people, and dancing with Remi.

Went to Rockville in the morning (after diner), and took down tree + played several rounds of parcheesi.

A weird holiday schedule, with Christmas and New Years on wednesday, then back to work, then weekend breaks.  Plus the late Thanksgiving.

anyway, at this point I'm always happy to have it over with.  Sad and sentimental, but happy to move forward.

past few work days have been lovely, spent working on, and feeling little sense of urgency and pressure.  I tell myself: It's holiday!  I'm proud of you for even going in!  you deserve a break!  But all that will end soon.  Things that got put off will take center stage.

Gym + pizza tonight w Lee.  For now, that's the focus.