Monday, August 30, 2021

 more angst of course:


print sale - not success

cards arrived - wish I made them brighter

t's - scared about ordering / printing for Arts on the Ave

Monday - bust spent home waiting for washer repair that, in the end, couldn't be repaired.

Ok weekend, typical sunday of dread and Rockville.  Just now all our plans for their move to Frederick fell through, so its back to square one for poor Bill.  I feel just terrible for him.

 

Woe is me

 

Thursday, August 26, 2021


 

 Lots of feels today about my work and direction and frustrations and discouragements.


Started at ROOST, where sure enough, they DIDNT need any artwork or cards afterall.  Spent most of the last few days preparing new prints and trying to get them out the door and brought to Roost, which is on the other side of the planet and has early hours.  

99% of my brain was non-functioning - I should have known this was all wrong when I got the email request for more prints  I was just there with Hex weeks ago PICKING UP prints that had languished there since December at least.  

 Nothing seems to sell there, nothing at all.  I'm not sure it's a functioning store, more like lobby decor.  Anyway, I show up, and the display is essentially exactly as I left it weeks ago, nothing touched, and lots of cards as well.

I had a mini breakdown, then went to work packing most old ones up, and putting out the new ones I  just brought.  Worked out ok, but considering the hours of thought I put into it all, its a complete waste of my time and energy this week.  Not a good feeling.

 

Went to WHARF afterwards, and similar angst.  Except there they needed more prints.   I dropped what I had, and took the duds too, but afterwards was kicking myself for not staying longer and working on the display more.  SO ANGSTY about how they are putting my stuff with pet products.  Just a bummer.


ANYWAY, all this led to an existential crisis on my drive home.  WHAT THE F AM I DOING ? ? ? ? So incredible frustrated with myself, my lack of direction, and most important my lack of I N C O M E.  Reliable income.  I can't seem to find or look or figure out what will earn me money.  I'm spending all this time (and money) making these prints for shopmade and the sales trickle.  It's just not viable.  And IG and website as well.  Its just not working (anymore).


I'm really confused and discouraged.


Came home, picked up emma, showered, and pulled my brain together, to more positive territory.  Yet these feeling have plagued me all year.  I can't find answers.  Or I'm not capable of looking for them.  I don't want to.  I just want to peter along, but at some point, I'm going to drown.

Monday, August 23, 2021




 

Another hot Monday.  Feeling kind of blah going into the week.  Working on prints for Shopmade, and finished commission projects.  

 

Good day today, but typical monday.  Finished cards saturday and sent in the order, so I am anxious to see them when they return.  

 Classic - after finishing all up, I see that there is not much *NEW* there like I thought (or felt).  Seemed like I had all these new ideas, but really they were retreads and redesigns of older ideas.  BUT - they all came out well, so I'm happy overall.

Dumbarton with Emma Sautrday.  And bill and Lee Sunday then Rockville.  Big things changing soon.  Im not ready, but I never will be!

Wednesday, August 18, 2021


 

productive Day!

 

Finally got my micros out (new and improved one) and working on greeting cards which is fun.  nice to use my design muscles for a change!

 

ok off to home,

Tuesday, August 17, 2021


 

 Yesterday - felt crappy with headache.  Got what I needed to get done done (and ran out to Rockville to help dad up from a fall) and went home - hoping all would work out today.


Had a 4:30 deadline, and just made it.  Print came out great (with a few misteps that I was able to correct).  Happy to have it complete, and time to move on.


Rough night last night still feeling shitty.  Happy today was much better.  Off to rest up for the rest of the week,

Saturday, August 14, 2021



 

No sidewalk sale today - of course. Super hot, and Hex in no mood (me neither).

Spent most of the day in studio doing not much, but did a little printing and sanding, so it wasn't a total washout.  Home to bake pie. 

 Sunday morning plans got high jacked - so kind of dreading that.  So stupid.  I complain about not being social, but don't want to be social.  Classic.

Friday, August 13, 2021


 

 FRIDAY!

 

Ha - day kind of lagged.  Typical August.  All the distractions are empty of content.  It's like working overnight.  Nobody around.

 

Was productive.  Commission approved (!!) so I could move forward on all.  Made screens, cut lotsa wood, and drew some more micros.  Like all.

 

Keep going back and forth about sale tomorrow.  SOOOOOOOOOOO hot out, so that is a major detractor factor.  We'll see I guess.  The good thing is I can wait to decide until the last second.  But that usually means no, because by the time Saturday at 2pm comes around, I don't want to do ANYTHING.

Ok > Home now.

Thursday, August 12, 2021

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

H A P P Y 4TH A N N I V E R S A R Y ms emma peel!


Picked her up four years ago.  Time flies by.

so so day.  Finished commission and expected quick feedback turnaround.  But that didn't happen, so the rest of the day stalled.  Of course.  Super super super hot and humid.  Almost toxic!  Had to walk back up 18th (like yesterday (to retrieve fed ex package I sent to the wrong fed ex, and it was rough.  The sun is poison.


So anxious to hear back on art, so I can proceed.  Fingers crossed.



Wednesday, August 11, 2021

paw modeling


 

More printing today - which went fine.  But made me feel kind of empty - like, ok great, here they are,  Next!

Reprints make me feel kind of blah.  Everything makes me feel blah.  I just feel bored with myself and my work.  What can I do about it????????????

Went on to drawing, which is just - - - - - - -  !  

 Forgot to report that after 10,000 hours of angst about micro drawings I was working on last week and before, I finally settled on designs, printed them, was happy with them, and so was my client.  Success usually results.  But getting there can be real torture.  

 Onto the next one for this week, but feel less muddled.  I think i will arrive at my destination faster.  We'll see. 


Got in a pink tote today.  Really like it.

ok, off for the night

Tuesday, August 10, 2021





 

 Productive-ish Tuesday.


Got some paper to print on at Blick, and printed REST CHAIR, which turned out well.  Much harder than wood, that's for sure.

Got some other designs printed as well, but let's be honest, could have should have gotten a lot more accomplished.  Ugh.  I'm always in a fight with myself.

Monday, August 9, 2021



 

Happy to make it thru the weekend!  I was anxious about the dog days sales, just getting everything there, and settled, and dealing with the heat and sun and keeping up energy - - all of it.  I was anxious to get started saturday, but of course it started to rain by the time we got to the studio to pack up.

Luckily the rain was constant, so it wasn't really a choice and didn't drag out all day.  That made saturday weird.  A big let down while also being happy that all that stuff was off my plate.


Anyway, weather much better sunday so we got all set up near old studio, in the shade, and had a good day.  Nice to be out and selling and seeing people as they look thru my work.  But noticed that things have changed big time over the years, and need to adjust to the changes.


Lots to think about as we move forward.  Feel like things are going into a new gear, which is great.

Thursday, August 5, 2021

 

 Down day.  worked on ND pegboard, and now just see how I would improve it.  First I printed out positives that were way too big.  Then trouble printing out the correct size, then see that they are too small when printed on the pegboard.  So > all a learning curve.  Nothing can be easy - sigh.

maybe maybe maybe figures out micros.  We'll see.

Tomorrow another day.

Wednesday, August 4, 2021


 

 day of drawing which was semi productive.  ND done (?) but not micos (yet).  of course




U


G


H


.

Tuesday, August 3, 2021

past DOG DAYS sales





 

Ugh - days puttering along.  Motivation really gone as we turn to August, everybody is away, email dried up, and everything just in a state of blahhhhh.  I complain about it every year.  Post pandemic, it's even worse.


Nice coffee with Cher and jeanette yesterday.  Back to studio, and a cliff of motivation.

Today a little better but not much.  Preparing for Dog Days this weekend, and printing up loose ends that I had made screens for.  

 

SUPER SUPER SUPER stuck on drawing these commissions (micros).  i just dont know how to solve, and it has me so stuck!  Plus I need to spend all this money on supplies / cards/ frames/ developer, ink, etc, so that has me paralyzed too.


poor dave (literally)