Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Dear Dave,

My grande ice coffee with extra ice in a vente cup tastes a bit like perfume. Maybe I should add a touch of milk. I'm not liking it.

My orchid sputtered and shed its blossoms. My fault? I'm not sure. But I feel guilty.

My cabinets are screwed to the wall, and all the holes are filled with putty. A dark grey semi gloss is waiting to be applied. hopefully it will be all that I imagine. fingers crossed.

Still in my funk. Me and Cooper. I wonder what is happening to him. Its a bit freaky. You get to know these people, but you have no idea what is really going on with them. I hope he is well.

The air is changing. Its not so embracing anymore. Instead of enveloping you with humidity, it pushes back a bit with its cool breeze. Suddenly you want to cover up and protect. Close. Hide.

It would be nice to be walking on a warm beach. The soft ocean. Stingy skin. Salty food. Bleached teeth. Forever happy. Content. Safe. Free.

Monday, September 29, 2008


dear dave
i feel edgy. anxious. tight. achy.

worked on cabinet this morning. cutting and clawing. I am determined to turn these two into office stars. my vision is clear.

feel sad and crabby. like something bad has happened, and Im just about to find out about it. when I feel like this, I think of irene on her hill, and it makes me sadder. I miss you you irene. always.

Friday, September 26, 2008

this is where im supposed to be

dear dave

wow - just saw brentwood storefront studios. I wonder if I would have ended up there. You never know.

Grabbed the second, larger cabinet. Now my office is a cabinet shop. I need to make a sophies choice. One must go. But I love them both. it will be a tough choice.

ok - now draw.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

unframed screenprint - $20.00 plus shipping

ryan is singing

dear dave

I can't decide if I should paint my cabinet, or strip it. Lately I have been so wishy washy. It feels frustrating and limiting. I much prefer feeling more confident about initial ideas.

I just want to keep all the great character. If I paint it, I will loose that. I will cover it all up. But if I strip it, will it turn out ok? Will it be too dark? Will it take too much effort?

Either way, I love it as is, and am so glad I dragged it all the way here, and took off the extra molding. Im obsessed about tearing apart the other larger one. I want those internal pieces. But it will have to be a massacre to get to them. A bloody scene.

I know I will do it, because its in my head - along with everything else.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

orchid + art

scribble pad number 2

dear dave.

having a HARD time getting started this morning. Feel very anxious. Can't seem to draw. Moving on to pad # 2. What to do with all the drawings in pad # 1?

Im surfing the web for something, but I don't know what I'm looking for. I guess just a distraction. I'm turning around, and drawing --- NOW. There is a cold breeze floating into my window.

What should I draw?? Show me the way.

Monday, September 22, 2008


dear dave
tried to get to work earlier today, but was thwarted for fun reasons.

Great weekend. Lots of fun, and very social. Class just going so so. New characters. Lost plot lines. Lines drawn. I think I will probably be going in much later.

I'm back at my table, ready to get started again. Portfolio meeting today. Interested in that. I predict we will have a political theme, but I hope not. We'll see.

No progress on chair or rug. Oh well.

I feel resigned, and content.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Friday, September 19, 2008

dear dave.

I lost my wallet, but not my way. Luckily I found it - no thanks to Jonathan. Note to everybody: If you find somebody's wallet, and you work at a gym, and you call out for them but they don't hear you, make a fucking effort to call them on the phone. So now I'm living by cash for 7-10 business days - which is a whole new concept for me.

No activity on my stake-out house. The air is breezy and cool. But flies are buzzing around me.

I love this.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

poster idea b

poster idea


dear dave,

Tables have been placed, and decisions were made. Gym trials have expired, printers have been bought and sold, and the humidity has left, for the time being. Serial numbers are entered, and software is registered.

Phones are synched, classes have begun, and trips are over with.

Progress is being made. I just wish I didn't have to pee every 10 minutes.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

controversy / regret

humid still

dear dave

so much rig-o-ma-roll over nyc, printer, table, wheels, email, iphone, hair, contacts, shoes, gyms. My new skin is still hardening. So many things to establish before a new routine can flow. Few days of missteps and upsets. Hopefully I am back on course. Still have some key pieces to wedge in.

NYc sort of overwhelming. Glad to be back. Weeks of change have made me feel flighty. I don't need more upheaval.

Sitting in my new office, fan blowing, orchid blooming, apple singing. Feel sort of content, but MUST get this chair sorted out, and the table in place. And the printer ordered, and the software serial numbers entered, and the brita filtering. Surprised by how much liquid I require during the day.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

table spiral

dear dave
yesterday was a disaster--a greed spiral that ended with heartburn and half a sleeping pill.
the new computer quickly pushed me down a need path.
I need a beautiful desk, rugs, antiques, blinds. All these plans swirling around. need need need want want want. $1,900 British antique farm tables, butcher tables, Texas tables, tables on wheels, picnic tables. my head was spinning. time to tack back quite a bit and realize what's important.
minimal waste
healthy food
solid relationships
self respect
hard work

this will bring me happiness

luckily, I found my way back.

ps - I bought the $150 desk/table. Thanks free ipod touch

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


Dear Dave

I did it! Today I bought the gigantic imac at apple, with all the extra free stuff. Cant believe how much incentive they give you. Free itouch, free printer, money off computer, and heavily discounted software, just for students. A MAZ ING.

Then, even better, I transfered my laptop, with all the 10,000 settings to the new computer. BRILLIANT!! I can't even believe how easy and perfect it was. So far so good. I think I made a great choice. The screen is GIANT. I am in love.

Also painted my office last night. After a bad color choice, and not enough paint, I got myself back on track. Like it. ITs cool and clean. And feel good about where my desk ended up.

AND, sold SHUFLY for $386. Thats amazing!

All is great. Goodnight.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

a little goes a long way

dear dave

im slowly settling. Love the new change of scenery and pace. It reminds me of moving to 10th street. I stayed in bed for a few days, so I could adjust.

I just have to make sure to make changes. Get things in place fast, before the cement dries. Becasue once it dries, its always hard to regain that momentum.

Bought software today. Started class Saturday. Making plans for a larger desk. Buying computer. Drawing. gyming. avoiding.

Monday, September 8, 2008


dear dave

Im surprised that SHUFLY is selling for so much, and excited I decided to relist it.

A good lesson: if at first you don't succeed, try try again.

Listening to Bjork, and trying to draw.
Still very distracted.
Maybe Im just always distracted. Not such a bad thing?

Thinking about treking to the apple store and buying my imac.
Or waiting. Or going to look at magazines.
Or getting the gym out of the way.
Should I buy the printer today?
Maybe I will meet with cord tomorrow.
When should I email paper planes?
Want to do that movie.
Oh shit, I forgot about the FLASH class.
Ate peanutbutter and jelly today. First time in YEARS.
Moved my car.
Sort of like being in the suburbs.
Glad sue is doing well.
Im going to be 40.
How should I orient my desk?
I need to work out.
I like the window.
FREEHAND is a good name.
Wish I had taken Remi out.
I need to buy new shoes and t-shirts.
I need to get dad some shirts.
What should I get.
Maybe my printer cable came today.
SHould I eat a brownie. Has my book gone up?
What is apple going to show tomorrow.
I can't believe my stocks NEVER recovered.
I LOVE cicadas!!!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Thursday, September 4, 2008

to imac or not imac

dear dave.

Cant decide about the new computer. WANT IT. But computers are always so hard. Something new is always around the corner. And you always think you need more then you do. I guess I want the 24". Thats what I really want. I just dont want to be disappointed. Probably best to just wait. Laptop is good. Laptop was life changing. Laptop will do. until I rush out and buy the 24". Just like with my car, and Remi. I want it. And I will probably get it.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


dear dave,

tried the metro today. not so into it.

Tenley starbucks > slow

more later

Tuesday, September 2, 2008