Friday, July 29, 2011

dear dave,

last night was as struggle - but I managed to get the 2 prints done, and mailed today.  Not my best work (?), but happy I followed through.  I just couldn't get right with that orchid print.  Scale, composition, colors.  All vexing!  No matter how much I fiddled with it.

Anyway, I think I'll try to make a large one, and improve.

Thursday night printing is HARD.  The 4 hours go so fast, and nobody really feels like being there.  But you have to, so we do.  At least I feel like I have to.

I'm not going to lie, the past few days, weeks, months have been rough.  I'm struggling to gain confidence in myself, and to feel sure about what I'm doing.  I'm always doubting myself.  I don't know.  i just wish I could feel differently.  Or things could flow better.  Every artist struggles.  You never know how you are doing.  What people really think.  Who you are trying to please?  Everybody and myself.  And it's impossible.  But I want to keep trying.


It's a hot friday.  I need to prepare for things -- tomorrow, speakeasy, dog days, easel.  That is what I need to focus on.
Working on my birdseed table print

inspirational magazine spread (note game top left)

Flowers from Hex's garden, hand delivered

Thursday, July 28, 2011

dear dave.

This poor blog only gets words anymore.  I've been slacking on loading pictures.  I guess I've never gotten over how much I hate formatting them anymore.  I wish blogger didn't change all that.

At corcoran, waiting on screens to dry/ wasting time.  I should be mixing ink.

Quickly then --

ok day.  kind of productive.  But not really.

lunch with Megan.  Swirls.  bad idea, but I made the choice.

Just found an orchid on the sidewalk -- abandoned in a recycling bin.  I guess that is a good place for it if nobody wanted it, but still.  happy to take it!

Printing orchid today.  For ABC show in Rehoboth.  After tweaks from hexy, I finally feel right about it.

OK - Mixing now....

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

dear dave,

wednesday work day over already.  Time flies!

went to Baltimore today to drop more shirts and prints at Trohv.  Glad I had the time to make the trip - it was really nice to check in with Carmen and Gary, and I love checking out the store.  Really great!

Blistering trip.  Top down, full sun.  When I came back I hid in my studio.  Blinds down, lights off.  An hour of full sun was enough.  The back of my neck is starting to tingle.

Ive been making shirts the past few days.  Im only half done.  So much to do.  One day I'll look bak at this and smile.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

bitter iced tea

dear dave,

Lousy monday was topped off by bad news about crafty bastards.  Didn't make the cut again!

Can't help but feel a bit of a blow to my confidence.  The highs of friday are instantly lost.  This week is all anxiety and frustration.  Somehow I need to shake it off and move on - but it's lingering, and it's only tuesday.

Had a successful saturday at the corcoran.  Almost done with my birdseed table, and made 2 more seedling prints.  I'm really into those.  I like the color and the energy.  They are a nice contrast to my other recent prints.

Birdseed table is never ending.  It's a black hole of little dit-dee-dit work.  Anxious to finish it up, and move on.

I've all of a sudden been showered with found wood.  I really have no idea where to store it, and that makes me anxious, so I think I need to unload more prints faster, which makes me more anxious.  How?  I can't seem to find outlets.  What I'm doing now is not cutting it.  I'm frustrated.  It's a loop in my head with no release. I can't make more prints if I'm not selling what I have.  I'm not selling what I have so I need to make more.

I don't know.  And I don't know why all of a sudden my ice tea is bitter.  Same mix, same water, same everything.  But now it's bitter.  Maybe picking up something from the fridge.  I don't know, and that frustrates me too.

My body is tightly wound.  I don't like this feeling!

Friday, July 22, 2011

dear dave.

really productive artistic week!  I feel good about it.

Speakeasy illustrations
Finished Lucy
Made seedling print
Pics with Ryan (below)
and a print for Camp Rehoboth.

Its late Friday, and Im not prepared for tomorrow at corcoran AGAIN.  Im behind.

But I need to let Remi out.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Dear Dave,

Can't sleep-bothered by ---. So inexplicable and bizaar. My head keeps rattling off responses and explanations and justifications for my anger. It becomes a loop that I can't escape. So I'm on the couch, surfing my phone. I guess I'll get over it, but Will probably just feel unsatisfied about never understanding it all. Sometimes people suck.

pollo Rico with the girls tonight. Fun, but I think the heat had an effect on our energy level. Maybe we should have taken the chicken to-go, and eaten in a giant fridge somewhere.

Great few days drawing! Love my work, the the super ease and flow. I'm just moving along. This is when I love being an artist, and feel well suited for it.

Printing tomorrow night. Plan to shift gears, to make room for some Trohv prints. Think that's probably a good plan.

Days go by fast.

Didn't make wpa options cut. Bummed about that...

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

dear dave,
working away.  Good past few days.  Leads, shirts, prints drawings.  etc.

feeling good for a change.

Now home to soup.

good night

Friday, July 15, 2011

dear dave,

everyday feels like a mixed bag!  Some good things mixed with sucky things.  I make progress, feel good, and feel bad.  I really wish I could be more consistent!

Had another shoot with Dave K.  He is so great -- I really enjoy my time with him.  But the results are always so so.  I've been having a terrible time getting good shots, or doing the right things, or whatever.  I don't know.  But I come back, sort through the photos, and am disappointed.

But...I had a great time hanging out with him, and he is such an inspiration.  Always has been.  Such a part of branddave.

Work at the corcoran last night was rough.  The wash room was a mess, the light flickering, the power washer leaky.  My screens were a MESS, left from last Tuesday.  All put me in a horrible mood.  The kind of mood where you just want to ball up and cry.  Go home and go to bed.

I managed to get through it.  Grumpy and pissy.  Helped tremendously when Megan arrived, and we trekked to safeway for some food.

But the time went fast, I got some done, and blah!  The summer printing has sucked.  Too few hours in the studio, and frustrating conditions.  Last summer was 1,000 x better.


so the week ends, and i don't feel great about it.  I have nobody to blame but myself.

whah whah

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

dear dave,

coffee with beverly was terrific.  A nice change of pace and scenery.  always does my body good.

Happy birthday to sue, and happy coming out anniversary to me today.  17 years goes by fast!

Finally got through corgi drawing (fingers crossed), and on to other things.  It's a struggle to stay focused.  My mind just craves diversion.  But I did pretty well.  Think I came up with some good new designs that I'll test out.

After playing around, I'm dying to redesign my website.  I always get this urge.  But I'm fighting it hard.  Not what I should be working on right now!

Off to gym now.  Blog is so tid-bit-ey!!  But thats what it is...

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

on a confidential note:  today was a HUGE success.  keep up the good work...
draw draw draw.  thats all.

Monday, July 11, 2011

dear dave,

Travel does the body good.  So do botanical gardens, panoramic views, extra hip people, and time away.

Had a good quick trip with Hexy, celebrating Daniels bday in Brooklyn with the gang.  It was soooooo nice to go from crazy, hot, hectic Manhattan to cool, calm, young, hip Brooklyn.  I liked it so much better.  The whole vibe was terrific.

We had a good time walking around, and a fun party that night.  17 floors up--I could get used to that!  Ha-it was really kind of a bummer going back down, and seeing everything on ground level.  The view up top was just amazing.

Sunday we went to the Botanical gardens, and it was as therapeutic as a massage.  So peaceful and beautiful and calm.  I really enjoyed just walking around, seeing all the variety, and basking in nature.  So corny, but so true.  It was really refreshing.

We got back last night, and I picked ms. Remi up today.  Hard to get back into a groove, but Mondays are always that way!
Walking through Brooklyn with plants

Roses at the Botanical

Desert plants

Friday, July 8, 2011

dear dave,

Out to Takoma then to Rockville, and back to the city.  That was my morning.

Kicking myself because I messed up making shirts, and shorted the order by 3.  Mistakes are so easily made!

Hex and I are off to NYC this weekend, to celebrate with Daniel.  Hope it's a fun trip. Our history together in the city is dicey.

Had a fun time shopping at MONT MALL this afternoon.  It's been a whole year since I wrote about doing that last.  I went to the same stores, and found what I was looking for.  Super careful with my spending.

Anxious to hear about all the things I've been applying for.  Fingers are crossed very tightly.  I need some things to come through.  Happy that at least one of them did.  Can't really share much about it here, but I was sweating it a bit.  Looks like all is on track - which is a good thing.


I changed up the heading graphic to this blog yesterday.  After 1,000 edits, I ended up not changing it afte rall.  That pretty much sums things up lately.  I can't seem to make progress forward, but I'm not exactly doing great standing still.


Thursday, July 7, 2011

dear dave,

Waiting on Fed Ex, and it's torture.  It's all I can focus on.





All I want to do is get these shirts and make these shirts.  Of course there is plenty of other stuff to do, but I don't want to do it.  I WANT TO GET THESE SHIRTS!

Time has stopped.  Until. I. Get. These. Shirts!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

pushed HARD to finish three prints yesterday at the Corcoran, and had success.  I thought I would need 10 minutes extra.  Turns out I used almost 2 hours.

No class saturday, because I'll by in NYC, so I wanted to make the most of my time.

busy / blah day today, making shirts for Trohv and speakeasy (meeting).

so now I'm off.  Tomorrow is Thursday already!  wow.


Tuesday, July 5, 2011

A tuesday that feels like Monday.  CRAZY(!!!!) how my mood changes.  All of Saturday's swagger - gone.  So typical!

Pulling together my prints for open studio today (7 minutes late already).

Ordered a load of shirts.

Pulling the trigger is exhausting.

I have to much planned.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

dear dave,

I need to mark this day.  I feel great!  Finally, after a lot of false starts, hundreds of false starts, I was productive and creative and have t-shirts I'm excited about (for speakeasy).  Feels really great to sit here, enjoy my music, and work!  To focus!!!!!!  One thing lead to the next, and I just want to keep going.  But I've got to get home and let Remi out.

Reminded me very much of BSUR.  I found my way, and it feels great!

Friday, July 1, 2011

dear dave,

finished up my proposal for ACC, and drove it over today.

Holiday lull is in the air.  Actually summer lull!  I remember struggling with it last year.  No artomatic to finish up.  Things just seem to stop dead.  The city is quiet, email stops, and everybody is focused on nothing.

I'm planning to have a productive July.  Christmas cards, prints, t-shirts, etc.  A good time to get ready for the fall.  I keep wanting to do cards.  Now is my chance to work towards that.

And more photography.  Once again I have the itch.  But on my terms...