ENORMOUS

HUGE

MONUMENTAL

BIG

LARGE

NEWS - WE GOT ECHO, AUGUST 12,203, EXACTLY 6 YEARS AFTER GETTING EMMA.

SHE IS GOLD

I AM SO HAPPY!

SUNDAY ROUGH DAY ABSORBING THE SHOCK OF IT ALL.  HEX AND I WENT OUT TO BELQUEST SATURDAY.  SOMEHOW I GOT TO AGREE TO THAT, BUT HAD NO IDEA WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.  WE SAW FIRST PUPPY, AND SHE WAS AN ABSOLUTE TERROR, JUMPING ALL OVER US AND GENERALLY JUST ACTING CRAZY HYPER.  I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, OH NO, THIS MAY NOT WORK OUT.

SECOND PUPPY CAME OUT, AND BOOOOOOOOM, SHE WAS JUST PERFECT.  NOT JUMPING, CALM AND SWEET.  LOVEY DOVEY.  

I KNEW WHAT I WANTED, BUT DID I REALLY???????  IT WAS AN OVERWHELMING FEELING SITTING THERE WITH HEX, TRYING TO ACCESS HOW HE FELT, AND HOW I FELT.  WAS THIS A GOOD IDEA?  CAN WE REALLY JUST PICK UP A PUPPY AND CHANGE OUR LIVES FOREVER??

I HESITATED FOR A WHILE, AND HEX SEEMED TO WAIVER.  WE ASKED TO SEE ANOTHER OLDER PUPPY, WHO WAS ALSO A NIGHTMARE.

FINALLY, THE GROUND SHIFTED, WE WERE IN HESITANT AGREEMENT, WE BOUGHT HER, LOADED UP IN THE CAR, AND DROVE OFF.

 

THE REST WILL BE HISTORY.  I HAVE WANTED THIS FOR AT LEAST 5 YEARS, AND GOT IT.  I'm SO HAPPY.  It's A NEW PATH, A NEW CHAPTER, ALL THE METAPHORS.  A NEW WAY TO THINK AND LIVE.  I'm READY FOR IT!  I WANT IT.  THE PAST IS PAST. EVERYTHING IS NEW AND POSITIVE AGAIN!!!!!!!!

 

 Productive days

got tees finished from weekend

giclée prints designed and ordered

garden flags (???????) designed and ordered.

Cat commission card drawn, designed, and printed.

car inspected by DC

Accomplished!!  

 

Huge news RE: belquest and echo and saturday.  I bide my time and hold my jaw tight.

trashcan waited!!

 

 Dear Dave,

Dog Days 2023 over!  Saturday we had coffee then went over around 12.  Weather was good, very sunny but not too hot.  Found a spot further towards the old studio, and eventually in the shade, almost across from the Florist. 

Vibe was good, BUT so different from past years.  Not so much neighborhood people, more people coming into town to eat and meet friends and maybe tourists.  I don't know, it's just very different.  Totes were a hit again, although I feel like last year they sold a little better?  

Not so much with tees.  People don't seem interested in looking thru them.  The ones that do specifically came for them.  I don't know, it's just the energy was totally different.  Still had fun, but vibe not the same, in not a good way.

Finished around 4 and were lucky to be able to leave tables at florist.  Mini worked great, lots of room.  I had folded tees in paper bags, which made everything so much easier!.

No cards, but hats.  They sold well, but it's just a crapshoot.  They need to be there in front of people, not a website thing.  Still into the patches, but hesitating about making more.  Not sure if they fit with pixie / shopmade.  Funny how stickers have felt fizzled too.  Probably all in my head, but less energy towards them.

Made the big mistake of going out 12-3 sunday.  Still good weather, but total bust with customers.  People not into shopping at all, Or even stopping.  TOTALLY different then Saturday.  It was kind of weird how dramatic it was.

Oh well, need to learn for next year. 

Love car!  Took emma to great falls sunday.

 

 The Friday before Dog Days 2023! Got shirts and totes and hats and patches and stickers and postcards.

Weather expected to be good!  

 New car has got me a little worried about smushing all this stuff into it for tomorrow.  Hope it works out.  It wouldn't be normal if I wasn't worried about something.  

Less work went into this, which is nice.  BUT - I did spend days printing mediums and totes.  We'll see.  Last year, I felt like I put too much effort into coordinating colors etc.  And the hype for shirts was way low.  And the rough circumstance with Dad.  Bad memories.

 

Anyway, love the new car so far.  So much drama associated with getting it, so glad that has all passed.  LASER focused on next step, and having it up in the air is KILLING ME.  But there is no other alternative.  Just get through the weekend, and go from there, I tell myself.

 

Fingers crossed it goes well.  Sell Dave Sell !!!

 Out of gas after walking emma in the heat!  yikes, it's hot and muggy.  Deep July

City quiet, not much happening.  Emails not coming in, texts lag.  Typical feeling of being out of the loop, and vacation jealousy.  All hyped up over cars and puppies earlier in the week, but that energy has dissipated.  Bummer.

FINALLY, FINALLY got prints to the wharf after days of delays.  Actually thought I could bring some last friday.  Today wednesday and I finally did.  Takes me so long to finish all the details.  ugh.  angst.  Had an ok sales july.  Always need to stay positive with Shop Made.

So that big project is done, and other little nagging ones too.  Got hats today and am anxious to get Hex to try and sew.  Otherwise, the tailor.  This whole thing - WTF?  Another distraction. Hopefully I can sell them all eventually.  More patches on the way.  Great Dave.

My miniscule sales effort went nowhere.  I guess IG DM's are not the way to go.

WOW - so down on everything right not.  Probably best to sign off, cheer up, and call it a day.

 Crazy week full of highs and lows.  Tired and exhausted to perfectly fine and normal.  Struggling with printing, to printing with ease.  IT's all so strange.

Got prints to union market, and flubbed on Wharf.  After the big push wednesday-Thursday, I flubbed.  They just take so much time, I feel like Im running backwards.

Struggles with Emma too, but maybe hopefully better now.

Postcards came in, and they are great, really like,

hat came in, and sewn too high.  ugh, I will get this right.  Patch is big.  Waiting on next one, probably next week or into following.

Shocked to think July half over.  It really speeds by.  Anxious for parking tickets resolve, RCN resolve, some sort of time off, and productive printing!

 

 Ugh day, after ok weekend.  Poor emma kept us on our toes with her stomach.  Seems to be on a good path now.  Fingers crossed.

Sunday was another lie around day.  My jaw and teeth started really bothering me.  Such a drag, and all body interruption.

Working on prints this week, and struggled to make ground today.  All just seems overwhelming.  Im so behind.  Not the best mental day.

In the shower I had the strange sensation of not knowing what reality I was in.  What year.  Reminded me of Diane scene from Twin Peaks.  Such an indelible scene.

Got cards ordered, which was a major accomplishment.  Now home to Hex

 

 Interesting, universe.

Nice things said from Cord and RoRo Johnson, just when I needed it.  A nice boost.

Printed scooter today in new colors, and messed up a bit but muting the yellow.  Thought about taking corrective measures (haha), but probably a lost cause here.  Like it though, a good direction.

Got stuck on July postcard, but think I have resolved.  Always a journey.  haha.

Emma doing better (seems) Great.

Made a list, but completed practically nothing.  trip to g town just gets pushed back endlessly.  Nuts.

THREADS launched  - interested in the future of that, and everything.  So much is unstable.  Want stability!

 Singapore readers - if you are out there /  

 

When I check stats for the blog I see thousands reading from Singapore.  Is this true?  How are you finding this blog?  Google stats tell me nothing, and I have a hard time believing it.

Please email me dave@branddave.com if you can give me any insight.

thank you

 Super incredibly typical 4th of July with one of us sick --- Emma.  I took her to Dumbarton on Sunday, and sure enough she ate something, and is stomach sick.  Poor baby.  Restless nights where she wants to roam the streets, eat grass, and drive us nuts.  Hoping she recovers soon, for all our sakes.

Tried to drive out to Bill and Lees for BBQ, but streets were blocked, so we Metro's instead.  A nice day, and time with them.  I had my classic return home to the dark, cold apt in the middle of a summer afternoon, which is so familiar and comforting.

Ok day today back to work.  Got more cards processed, and prints ordered, screens cleaned.  Issue with SM resolved??  I sure hope so, what a relief.

Goal is to print print print, but I AM SO SLUGGISH.  Long convo with Richelle left me drained (in a good way), so maybe tomorrow will be more printy.  Still need to do drops in GTOWN and Buzz.  Never-ending drops!

 Emma sick-ish, and it's upset the balance of the already off balance day.  A monday before July 4th.  A pocket of a day. A strange holiday eve where things are up and running and open, but off. This whole week will be like that, just you watch!

The weekend was spent mostly at the studio working piss-ally.  Took Emma to Dumbarton yesterday just as it started to rain.  We hung in the tennis court pergola until it slowed, and had a fun time in the rain/sun.  She must have gotten into something.  Fine afterward, but lots of upset overnight eating grass and cvomiting and just being overall unsettled.  Poor Hex, even more so than poor Emma.  Seems better today, but not 100%.  Maybe 82%

I have a long list of to do's, but just plodded along as usual.  Stalling on my trip to SM GTOWN.  Unsure of my drop-off.  Still sweating email sent to WHARF.  Ugh.  Regret is a terrible thing.

Got shipping notice for patches, from CHINA !  That surprised me.  Hope I like them.  As usual, I'm already like; why did I get these?? How ill I sell these!  I really hope I like them.  Nervous about a thick border, and the puff material.  And the thread colors.  Proof is so AI generated.  So interested to see if the real patch matches.

 Catch up day for branddave, which makes it weird!  July 4th came on quick, it always does.  You are just humming along in June and then all of a sudden there is the end of the month, the holiday, the evacuation of the city, and a vacuum of feelings.

Ran around Friday after typically spending the week not working hard enough, so all my projects could be accomplished before the weekend.  I always set my self up to fail somehow - stall, then run out of time, tell myself I have no choice to make compromises BECAUSE of time, and then feel guilty about it all afterward.  An endless cycle. I do it ALL the time.

Anyway. Got a lot done today (Saturday) that needed to get done.  Cards folded, shirts made.  Rushed out to Wharf last night late, and dropped the small # of prints I had made, and all the cards that sat here for a week waiting for the prints.  Of course, the trip played with my head, because when I got there the store was reorganized (good) but I was still grouped with pet products (bad).  Set me on a sour course! 

Frustrated before bed, I knew it was best to email then, and get it out of my head.  Maybe a little harsh, but so frustrated with this whole thing, ever since Steven.  UGH.

Anyway, hex off to the flea market, and tennis with Bill, so I was on my own, and feeling blue towards the end of the day.  I always feel like this on holiday.  Sorry for myself for not having the social life I envision.  And feeling stuck in a rut of home work emma tv.  

Anyway, low blood sugar leads to a low mood.  Here I am at the studio, saturday night, in my feelings.  Time to go home.

(((3rd post in a row!!!!!!))))

 Quick post:  Hex and pizza waiting for me at home!

Ok day - really happy with the direction I took on prints with new colors, away from black!  Started with "COFFEE" print months ago, and I'm so happy I figured this out.  Kinder, Gentler look, more 2023 ?  Most importantly -- away from the black+gray+BROWN rut I've been stuck in for so long. 

Emma got her boosters at HRA, glad to be finished!  $30 more, which was funny/surprising.

Failed to get all accomplished print wise, for WHARF and UNION MARKET, but like I always feel/say - the creative aspect is most important.  As long as I'm happy with the work I'm doing.  A luxury, I know.  For sure!

 Wow - second consecutive day of blogging!  Maybe I can do a third and so on.

Just back from the steam.  Lonely gym, I miss the old one.  This gym just has no community like that one.  No life and energy.  Hoping that comes back when it reopens.

Weird day - every day is weird.  Call that car was ready threw me off, but in a good way.  Wish I was prepared to hit Buzz, because that would have been perfect.  Car looks great, and so happy they fixed the window.  Side a little strange, but must be my imagination.  GLAD It's ALL ACCOMPLISHED!!

Big job was to start my massive flow of printing, but it started with a Peter.  Made marginal progress with screens, but overwhelmed by all I need to do.  Finally, ordered envelopes and boards.  Finally.

LOTS TO DO, and Im so stalled and distracted.  Buy glasses, non puppy, non trip, news, computer, video, twitter, etc.  All typical, but feels like I can't control myself.  Maybe the blog will help.  Writing it down.  Maybe.

SUE died 5 years ago today.  That probably was in the back of mind too.  in my cells, and my subconscious.  poor Sue.

 Every day is a weird day.  Maybe since Nov '16, or maybe it always was?

Sitting here at the studio waiting to "frame" a print I spent waaaaay too much time printing today.  I wanted it to be perfect, and it really was an easy thing to do, but I tend to just drag everything out.  I have no discipline, or self-control, or both.  I take multiple breaks, and time just putters away.

But it turned out really great, so in the end, I have to feel satisfaction.

I got the AC cord for the video camera, to at least VIEW all my old DV tapes.  Started watching them, and it became tedious.  Haha, the 2000 tech and a "23 attention span.  A tiny sputtering screen and lag rewind and fast-forward.  

 Spent some time switching out tapes, getting a little bored with my mostly boring tapes, and then sure enough, the camera started to malfunction, and would no longer load tapes.  Ugh.  Of course.  So now the AC cord gets returned, and I do nothing.  Unless I bite the bullet and get them converted.  So glad I didn't spend the plan B money on all the computer cords, since the camera would have broken (probably) anyway.

The whole "project" reminds me of "videos" (((coded language))).  The excitement and anticipation, going to the store, watching them, and immediately wanting to ride myself of them, and the memory of even having them.  It was always so cleansing dropping them back off, as if the whole enterprise never occurred.  Well, this misadventure is similar in that I want to return the $13 cord, get my refund, and pretend the whole thing never happened.

All this nostalgia lately.  Cant decide if it's good or bad.  Or just another distraction.  Love my old watch (with new $3 battery), but just realized the impetus for it "watching" my computer yesterday.  Robert R.  Haha, that is so crazy and funny and subconscious!  I thought it was trying on Cords at the Apple store.  Dave, you interesting creature!

POURING rain outside.  Thought there would be a massive storm yesterday, but it never came.  Waling to work past week while car dent is being fixed.  Anxious to get it back!  The Mini Cooper angst is interesting.  The heart wants what it wants (Echo)

In the back of my mind, I think that dude for Alyson Adventures will email back with an offer I can't refuse for a trip on 12th.  Well see.  Maybe if I manifest it.

 Weeks later, and here I am returning to the blog.  I come and go. Well, here I am.

Friday night, and I'm waiting for Hex to finish at the Dr office.  Fun coffee with Cheryl this morning, which always puts me in a good mood.  Not much work progress lately.  It's crazy, I'm just puttering along on personal things, and the days go by.  I do some work, but it's - I don't know - crazy how much I'm putting things off.

Picked out glasses, and am excited to have them to try out.  Spent lots of $, but that's ok.  Contracts are still a work in progress, that's why I'm so anxious to try the glasses.  We'll see.

Drawing again after a while and that's nice.

Car in shop for dent (ugh, what a MAJOR pain in the ass this has all been), so walking with Emma. Ok I guess, but ugh

Emma anxious, so I guess I will leave now.  ADDICTED to my computer with all the news flowing.  Russia, J6, and everything else.

 Bonkers day worried about money going out - taxes, car repair, visa bill, health insurance.  A storm of outflow that has me shaken.  

At the same time, $$ in from Bill.  But somehow that is different $, that I can't touch, and didn't earn, and I just sort of discount.  It's really bizarre.

Feeling shitty about (branddave) things lately.  So negative, and lazy, and directionless.  I had wind in my sails after WHARF friday, but here I am Monday, paralyzed and muddled and worried.  I'm always worried.  Worry is a constant.

THINGS ALWAYS WORK OUT.  NOTHING IS WORSE THAN It's EVER BEEN.  I just can't seem to help myself.  Ugh.

Finished up TAME TILL PROVOKED, and having a devil of a time getting them glued and stained.  Trying to recycle wood, and use up the (dry) glue that I have, and it all just is extra effort and frustration.  I have painted over mistakes on the print surface 10,000 times. Ink, dirt, stain.  Its just a sponge magnet for my mistakes.  

Hoping to find THE PERFECT box to ship it in.  Other 2 go to shopmade, which is a whole other can of worms.  Refreshed the sales report (for April 23) a million times throughout the day, but it was never posted.  It should be posted.  Its so maddening and frustrating.

Same with carefirst.  Policy is displayed, then voided, then disappears altogether.  And their CONTANCT portal is SHIT.  WTF???  It is just a mountain of frustration and wasted energy of concern.  I hate it.

 Wednesday today -

Trying to get thru some reprints, but it is slow-going.  Stressed because one is a duplicate of something I printed in 2014, and it's for the same person.  Hard to make an exact copy of something.  Had lots of screen making issues.  Hope they resolve easily.  Was super scared that my light table was suddenly malfunctioning.  What would I do??

Promising correspondence for SM.  That's good.

 up down up down up down

1st of the months always stress me out - $$$$$ goes out, and I'm forced to face the fact that not enough $$$$ is coming in.  I hem and haw all day, then finally make all my payments, resolve to try harder, resolve to work smarter, and resolved to get back on track again.

Monday 1st of the months really suck.  Today is Monday.

i spent all weekend down on myself for not getting to Georgetown on FRIDAY with the cards and prints I had prepared. I'll go Saturday!  I didn't.  I'll go Sunday, I didn't.  Finally, I'll go Monday morning - I did not.  Worked on the prints that were stragglers, finished them, and finally set off to go.  

It was a good and nutritious trip,  They are always excited to see me, and it puts some bounce in my step and fire under my ass to do all the things I resolved above.  F E E D B A C K ! ! !  It's always this thing I crave, and forget that I'm not getting enough, to my detriment.

So - time to go home.  Another day tomorrow.

 7:04pm and I need to go to the gym and I never want to, ever.

Ok day. Late start because of parking restrictions.  Got some shirts made, and FOUND positives from Corcoran days, to print reprints this week.  Heard from G Town and they need more prints, which always is nice to hear.

Distracted by twitter, which is normal.  Made apt with JM for tomorrow, which is always nice to look forward to.

Now must go to gym

 

This split in 2 after I hammered the hanger on back.  I glued it to back together, and now I consider it special

 Another day, another post.  Let's see if I can keep this going.

Finished up printing and shipping a few reprints, and then went to SM union Market last minute after lots of hemming and hawing about how to logistically get all these diddly things to 4 separate shopmades.  Finally decided to forgo GTOWN and hit union market.  

Got screwed out of at least $4 on metro, boo!  Got there quickly and discovered 9without surprise) that they practically needed no cards, the rack was pretty full.  And not with the B designs, either.  Depressing part is that last drop off was JAN 2!  Yikes, sales there are just terrible.  Disheartening to see the print stragglers that I never can seem to refresh, and the cards in the furthermost corner of the store, hidden away.  UGH.

I ended up taking back about 40 cards (not dropping them off) and emailed Becca with a plea to move the rack to the main store.  Hope she is willing.  Walking back from the metro I had the familiar misgivings and frustrations.  Maybe I should just talk all out!  I always get so discouraged by that location.  Then I end up doing nothing.

Well - I must get more engaged. And stay positive. 

 Time to come Home to the blog and check in.   

It's been a tumultuous month getting sick with a bad cold, and having a very very slow recovery.  I always trick myself into thinking life was golden BEFORE I got sick, but the truth is I was at 75% probably, so getting sick just set me back.  Anyway, having low energy and anxiety and losing days to sleeping just makes EVERYTHING worse and hard to come back TO.

Got through taxes this week.  Got through commissions awhile ago, and got Pixies tees out.  So I have accomplished something.  There is just always a pile not being attended to at all, and that is just how I like to live apparently.  The never ending to do list with the same to dos.  Somehow I will get to them, or just decide I'm not doing them.

Feeling down about work (lately) but was SUPER creative a few weeks ago, and still am sort of.  Ideas were pouring out and I couldn't keep up.  Such a great feeling, to be creative, and to feel happy with myself. 

Anyway, the solution to all my problems is ALWAYS to stay positive, and keep trying.  So here I am, writing again on my blog, hoping it's a positive step towards checking in with myself, recording my feelings, being honest, and moving forward, creatively and with purpose.

 

 Sad few days with Hexy, and his mother's passing.  Work has taken a back seat - really all of January.  The funeral was yesterday, and today felt like Monday again (it's Thursday)

As much as I told Becky and Megan - I'm happy!  I'm over the grief of last year! It all came rushing back.  So things went in a different direction this past week.

Anyway, back to work today, and made more baby steps.  Finally printed the Huggy Bunny on paper that seemed to be something I just always wanted to put off, but held up screen cleaning and forward momentum on other printing.  Worked out well, especially on the off-white construction paper.  So of course when I went back to print a second batch of extras, I screwed up the registration.  SO TYPICAL!

Went to Home Depot this morning and got wood for commission, but then did nothing with it today.

Working at a snails pace.  That seems to be January.

 deardave,

Today it came in strong > the January blahs!  I finished shirts for Pixies, valentines, postcards, and deadlined commission.  I looked at twitter and FB and all the rest.  I did everything my little brain knows to do to AVOID the work that I've been putting off since Christmas, and then there I was, no distractions, no easy bulky projects, just the stuff that I now HAVE to do, and just don't want to.  Ha - it's a sad and brutal moment!

 

The only way is THROUGH, so I made some microscopic progress forging ahead.  January is always like this.  All I want to do is play and hibernate and PUT OFF.  It's just dumb.  I should just take the whole month off and travel.  Maybe (probably) I just need to recharge and regroup.  Instead, I come into the studio and waste time doing not much, hemming and hawing about all that I have to do.

 

ANYWAY!!  January.  Cold today, but ok weather.  Coming off some fun days with friends, and a terrific massage with Jeff.  All is really good, my mood has been buoyant.  Just today I was struck with getting in gear.

 

Mad that my clings were lost / stolen over the weekend.  Hopefully can get them replaced.  Not so happy with my Rainbow dog version.  Sometimes so frustrated with my design decisions.  I only have myself to blame.  Should have done the cut-out.