all things equal

dear dave,
about an hour ago, I had grand plans to write a long post about how I had finally decided to pull everything out of my sad closet, and decorate my apartment. And how that would be a metaphor for how I have been living the past year. A year of massive transition. Selling off or just throwing away major chunks of my life, and living in this bare, spare, empty apartment with essentially nothing. All my great things, my collected things, my precious things, packed away. Put away. Waiting to come out again, and be cherished again.

Such an identity crisis. Who the fuck am I, and why do I have all these things? Ron was the influence. Sneaky that Ron, unknowingly infiltrating my life and thoughts. but he has boxes in his garage. Boxes filled with stuff he wants to keep.

So where does that leave me? I have no fucking idea. I have all these things-things I love, things Im attached to, things I don't even know exist. Things I need once in a blue moon. Things that inspire me. Things that remind me of friends and places, and events.

THE MOSS FROM THE WATERFALL AT FALLINGWATER.
Irene and I running down the wet winding driveway
for one last look and deep deep breath.
IRENE-I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET THAT MOMENT.
ever.

AND I HAVE THE MOSS WITH ME.
it's safe with me, and I will keep it forever.