heavy

dear dave,

A lot is stirring around in my head today -- July 13th. Two big things:

1. Sues Birthday is today. I wish her a very very happy birthday. I wish her the very best. I want the best for her. The very best.
I am so tied to her - so connected. My fear is her fear. I feel so frightened for her.

2. Today is my coming out anniversary. Years ago, on this day, I went on a little walk around my neighborhood with Joe Ireland, and bravely told him " I am gay". What an enormous turning point for me. The biggest ever. I don't think I will every experience something as monumental as that. In that second, my life was forever changed. It gives me chills. It was a conversion. I could love myself again. My true self. And I could be HONEST about who I really am.

Of course I still struggle with insecurity, but that is always the root. The fear of letting people know who you REALLY are. I conquered that fear in that moment, during that week and month. I can always look back on that, and draw from that amazing POWER and strength.