dear dave,

last night was as struggle - but I managed to get the 2 prints done, and mailed today.  Not my best work (?), but happy I followed through.  I just couldn't get right with that orchid print.  Scale, composition, colors.  All vexing!  No matter how much I fiddled with it.

Anyway, I think I'll try to make a large one, and improve.

Thursday night printing is HARD.  The 4 hours go so fast, and nobody really feels like being there.  But you have to, so we do.  At least I feel like I have to.

I'm not going to lie, the past few days, weeks, months have been rough.  I'm struggling to gain confidence in myself, and to feel sure about what I'm doing.  I'm always doubting myself.  I don't know.  i just wish I could feel differently.  Or things could flow better.  Every artist struggles.  You never know how you are doing.  What people really think.  Who you are trying to please?  Everybody and myself.  And it's impossible.  But I want to keep trying.

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It's a hot friday.  I need to prepare for things -- tomorrow, speakeasy, dog days, easel.  That is what I need to focus on.