2025 Wrap Up

HOLIDAYS IN REVIEW

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shit show!  So classic how the "holiday season" shakes out.  I brace myself in October and think I'm in control, only to see November come and go, having gotten a lot done, but behind and with commissions and time going by, and then other things get in the way, and it just becomes a big mess.  

Anyway, this year I had jury Duty first, and knew I would be called, had a week trial, and got behind as a result, only to go to MI the following week, and more behind, only to get sick a week after returning, and having to recover in bed for 3–4 days.  

What a mess it all became. I didn't even get my standard sales email out, so orders coming in were S P A R E.  But even those I had trouble getting finished.  

Positives:  all worked out, I finished things that had to be finished, and I didn't stress out too much through it all.  I just rolled with the punches.  

Negatives; Sales were WAY DOWN.  So bad I don't even want to think about it.  

As years go by, and I experience year after year of what happens, I'm just resigned to think what happens was meant to be, and I don't have much control over any of it.

  

YEAR IN REVIEW

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Glad to be blogging again, and recording my thoughts and day to day.  It's mind-boggling how time goes by, and I totally forget where it's gone.  I will try my hardest to do try think NEW this upcoming year.  I read that is the way to slow time down, and it makes a lot of sense.

The past few years I have been so rigid with myself and routine, thinking this will keep my sane and in-line, protected.  I have been so sensitive to feeling UN-SAFE, and routine has been my medicine.  Grief and anxiety and depression have reared their ugly head, and had me in their grip. 

Things changed sometime in the summer.  I felt better, more in control, less worried about EVERYTHING, and less anxious about what could happen.  It's been a solid 6 months now of feeling much healthier mentally (and physically) and now I know I am ready to make positive changes.  

Different paths, routes, activities, thoughts, dreams, fantasies, tools, experiences, foods, and ways of seeing things and doing things.  I WANT CHANGE !!!!

Oops, back to year in review, Dave!

Let's see, it was a year of stagnation.  I drew so much less, and just stuck to "feeding" SM stores.  I came up with some new cards, and some new designs.  Postcard club moved along.  But really if I'm honest, I just have been stuck, not moving, not trying, and just seeing the negative in EVERYTHING. 

When I was in MI (what a great trip, a turning point), sitting with Bill & Anne watching tv, I could see how negative I was about everything.  It's poison, and so easy to just not see the poison in yourself.  

My negative thinking has led to stagnation, not wanting to draw, and not seeing possibilities.  To succeed with my work I have to ENJOY it, the process, and most important, I have to try, to do.  Not get on my computer and phone, listen to podcasts, find distractions, and give up.  Poison!

So at the end of the year I am in a position I am usually in - looking forward and being hopeful.  That new things will happen, and good things will come from them.  That I will find my way, meet new people, do new things, and have fun.  

That is and will always be most important:  That I find happiness in what I'm doing. 

 

2023 wrap up

 2021 wrap up

 2020 wrap up

 2019 wrap up

2018 Wrap up

2017 Wrap up 

2016 Wrap up

2015 Wrap up

2014 Wrap up

2013 Wrap up

2012 Wrap up

2011 Wrap up

2010 Wrap up

2009 Wrap up

 

 

Merry Christmas!

Messy xmas eve: I backed myself into a marketplace clusterfuck by posting the 2 dog crates that have been sitting at my studio for weeks.  I realized I could just renew old posts, saving me time on taking new pics and writing all the crap out again.  

Got instant DM's right away and it then became a competition of who would get here first.  Then all the FB watching started - - turning into this big stupid distraction, me trying not to miss messages and waiting waiting waiting for people to get here.

I opened one crate (that I hadn't before) and figured out that it's pretty broken, or needs zip ties to stay sturdy.  Big mess trying to figure out a fix, and of course MORE distraction trying to get it to work.  Quickly became obvious that I shouldn't be selling it.

Anyway, 4pm (my deadline that I gave) came and went, and no response.  Meanwhile, I made screens, and one just washed out terrible.  I think my emulsion is old, and not working properly.  Made another, and that one worked.  Mystery that I can't figure out.

Re loaded FB, and all these messages came in from 2 people that came and left.  Some glitch prevented the messages from coming through in real time, so I missed them.

The Free crate lady was still in the area, so she said she was on her way back, which led to another long, frustrating wait.  I finally just gave up and left it outside.  Took the other crate off marketplace.

What a total fiasco.

Made hex a last minute print, and shopped at safeway for stocking stuff.  7pm, and I’m going home.

Photo dump

Sherlock

Echo's shed of shame

Thanksgiving feast

 

December 23rd - that freaky creepy scary time when everybody flees real life and goes into this 2 week bubble where time has warped and slowed and sped up all at the same time.  We will reconstitute on the other side in the new year!

Creepy walk with the dogs - dark and quiet, empty streets and sidewalks.  I looked into decorated houses and apartments windows, with blinking xmas lights and I felt like such an outsider.  Longed for warm parties with hot food and loud conversations.  But unfortunately right now, that is a thing of the past, just like everything else seems to be.  I've shed so many things (unhappily).

Nutty holiday season : Jury Duty > MI > lost Thanksgiving Day spent sick and throwing up > Home fretting about sales / artwork > sick with Hex cold > recovery and design stress > now.

What's going to get done is done (except present for Hex) and all ahead.  Glad to have gotten through this period.

 

MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR challenge going forward:: that I always fail - - 

stay motivated, 

active, 

moving, 

creating.  

DO NOT SLUG !!  

 

We'll see. 

BLOG NEGLECT!

A whirlwind couple of weeks prevented me from taking the time to blog.  Jury Duty > trip to MI > then Xmas rush on orders. 

 

Jury duty so much fun.  I just knew I would be picked, and then relished the whole experience.  So frustrating while in it, but MI was a good palette cleanser.  I got so immersed in the details of the case, and so frustrated with the outcome - 2 v 10 ... hung jury.  Sleepless nights spent going over arguments or tactics I could use to try to convince the 2 dopey holdouts they were wrong!!  But in the end we just couldn't, and had to admit defeat.  So mad the victim had to be put through all this, without any conclusion.

 

oops, hex ready to be picked up.

 

to be continued ... 

 

 

ok day - week is sort of a fail production wise.  Would be a lot happier if I had more to show for it.  Maybe tomorrow I can knock it out of the park.

Working all week on these prints for SM, and they are all just ok.  I am stuck in a reprint rut for sure.  Some of these I have printed over and over.  

Totally uninspired to make new work, and these positives are all complete.  So fucking stupid - I hate spending $$$ on ink for one thing.  Anyway, that has been an ongoing project that I should finish tomorrow.

Went to BUZZ to drop holiday cards, and then old navy and Michaels.  Dave's little adventure.  

For a minute or less, I liked the idea of weekday shopping, giving me nostalgic memories of Rockville and childhood.  Then while I was in the store, especially Michaels, with all the holiday CRAP, I felt repulsed and like I just was in the WRONG place, and had to go go go !!!  Bad feelings / memories of Jimmy came to mind, so I rushed out after buying some paper for printing.  

Got a donut at Giant, which should have been at least good (not great), but it was terrible.  Turns out you really need to microwave them!  

I was tempted by the fried chicken at the hot bar, with memories of press check lunch breaks at G & G.  Such nostalgia.  EVERYTHING is a memory!!  But I figured it would be $$$ and not so good, so I went with the cheap shitty donut instead. 

Waiting to hear from Hex, who will be finished working soon.  Pick up at 18th & P. 

 

So this is a quick day rundown.

Made screens, and continue to work on my prints for SM.  Ordered cards, and painted some boards.  All uneventful.  Trying to find some creative juice!  Putting of drawing as usual, but the days go by and the vice tightens.  I always do this to myself.

Slipped up over the weekend with news reading, but back to ...

 

hex called - bye! 

ha ha I just keep sitting at my desk consumed into my screen, tweaking this and that on my site, and stalling going to the gym.  

All I do at the gym every night is sit in the sauna and steam, and shower.  Cardio has been a thing of the past, too lazy by the time 7pm comes around, and I really enjoy ending the day this way.  But its lazy, that's for sure.  

After COVID I just said fuck it - I can do what the fuck I want!

Anyway, positive day.  Started the prints, and got sort of uninspired as I went along.  I NEED TO DO NEW THINGS, not just reprint the same stuff.  The harder path but more rewarding for sure.

Midday my holiday cards arrived (early, yay!) so I realized it was best to shift gears, put off printing (happily) and prepare cards for GTown.  Made the trip over and think it was a good plan, and good to check in.  It's been way too long, out of fear, and convenience - parking is always a BITCH.  Got a good picture of what they need -- a good way to make a plan into action over the next few weeks.

Hoping to work over the weekend, we'll see how that goes.  Usually I just an instantly out of the mood, and just want to slug. But there is a lot to do !!

 

Good day!  Started early (for me) with hex and coffee at Firehook - ha, we can't stop calling it that.

Posted cards to site, and ran off to photograph Precipice print.  Mixed results.

Started big SM project of prints on wood.  Sort of fun feeling creative and free.  Made screens, so all set to print tomorrow.

Early evening walk with ladies after running out quickly for coke at gas station ($1.50 !!).  The sun was shining, the start of golden hour, and I realized I should be out with them THEN every day instead of walking in the sad dark.  So that will be my new plan!

Sold chairs finally on marketplace, and then was off to SMUM.  Metro was apocalyptic - filled to capacity, yet we kept stopping at super crowded stations and people kept squeezing in.  It was harrowing!!  I managed to find a set and all was better, but I was so isolated that I missed my stop.

UM good , a happy drop.  Then the gym, which was totally empty.  It's sad when it's like that.  Where is everybody??

Tomorrow > print.

- - - - - - 

Sitting in the sauna, my mind wandered to bsur, and all that bloomed out of that, and just now thinking about posting shot of Irene in my first tee design, and what came out of that!  

Jordy > bill and John > Adam > bsur > branddave.  Its a crazy progression, and IS SO FUCKING MAGICAL (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) how all that came from the tiny seed of creativity and spark of an idea that I put into motion with a series of actions.  All the people, products, $$$, happiness, (frustration) everything that flowed out of that one thing - that idea, that motion and action.  It's just so exciting to think about, all that I have done.  Its very powerful ! 

 

 Weird time(with govt shutdown)?  I don't know, it just seems like the streets are empty and holiday is not started.  Good election last night.  I am staying away from the news!  Glad about that discipline.

Working slow this week with stomach issues.  Monday was a full day of cheryl, and yesterday I printed for SM, and that was pretty much it.  Today I finished that (soooooo sloooooow) and finally got my nov postcard finished (redo of course) and Steve's cards finished up.  Creative energy very low.  I have drawn nothing lately.  For weeks.

Have a lot to do, so i'll keep on moving forward.  Hopefully stomach gets better over time, and I can gain some sort of momentum.  I need it! 

Quick post post-gym pre-getting the fuck out of here.

Week going by fast.  They will from now until Jan.  Worked on prints today, and prepping envelopes.  haha, that sounds pretty pathetic when I write it down.  Buckle down, Dave !!!

Started holiday cards too, and that could easily become a swamp.  

INSIGHT on my walk home from gym ::: DON'T SPEND A LOT OF TIME DESIGNING HOLIDAY CARDS, MAKING A PERFECT COLLECTION ETC - YOU DON'T SELL A LOT ANYMORE, AND YOUR TIME IS BETTER SPENT ELSEWHERE!!

Good SM news which injected some spring in my step.  That and NSYNC Girlfriend/Gone.  Forgot about those!

ok time to leave for the night.  Tomorrow is another chance to make progress! 

INSANE Friday led to a relaxed weekend.  All worked out, but not at all how I expected.

Got a lot done friday amidst all the chaotic feelings - finished and shipped print + commission, and finally got out the SM UM/W with Totes, tees, and leftover Holiday cards from '24.  Needed to make these trips so bad, but they were sort of inconclusive.  Got a blah reception at W, disappointing actually.  I felt like yesterday's news.  Funny, not typical.  And UM was busy with an event, so I was sort of coming in with bad timing.

Anyway, HATE the card spinner W is using, so in the process of replacing that.  Such a strange selection in 2025.  But think I found one that will work.

The commission was well received, which makes me feel good.  Lots of angst!  Stayed out of the studio most of the weekend.  Stayed around the apt with Hexy and ladies.  Coffee, walks, tv - weather is turning.

No big trek to the woods, felt uninspired.  Haha, I always do now.

Back today and muddled Monday as usual.  Made some progress here and there.  Its a turn the page kind of time.  New projects, and things to buy - ugh.  Too much to buy. 

 

Productive day, even keeled, which is a nice change!

Finished tees for SM, made a new plan for P_ _ _ _ (devious) and finished prints on wood.  Adding the Branddave really helped the cat, and the Dog commission came out great.  Plain, but looks right that way.

MAJOR progress in my push to stay off fucking Drudge, and away from the Dow.  I am happily oblivious for almost 24 hours now about what happened today.  NICE !

Home to pizza - yay!! 

 

Rough start to the day with Emma waking Hex up early to walk, and the off-ness flowed throughout the day.

Made my screens for prints that are ordered, and figured out my wood dilemma pretty quickly.  

Printing for one went ok, wish the cake was a bit less messy, and I think I need to add a logo at the bottom to balance it all out.  It looks pretty plain as is.  

Made the choice to orient it a little higher on the wood, and of course that was not the right choice.  Now it looks a bit top-heavy.  I'm so picky about my work.  If I could, I would do it all over again.

Frustrated with FB Marketplace and extreme lack of movement on these great things I have up.  Where are the customers?????  I'm baffled.  At the same time the govt is shut now for weeks, no end in sight, and economic indicators are in the shithole.  2025 health insurance scares me.  Scares me.

Walking back from gym, after a nice serene sauna, and came to the OBVIOUS realization that I have have have have have to stop constantly checking Drudge, my one-stop site for "News" about the world ending.  It's been a slippery slope back into the moment by moment lust for info that I escaped after the FUCKING election, and it's just destroying my mental health.  It has to stop. 

Tomorrow is about printing shirts (arrived at Fed Ex) and finishing up these prints.   

 

Ugh - I keep going over the issue with _ - over and over and over.  Every dog walk, every walk to the gym, over and over and over and over.  So exhausted with myself.  When will I stop ruminating over this ????

Anyway, productive day, but inefficient.  Cut some wood for commission, primed, only to have to do all the steps over again, because I realized the original pieces were not right after all.  Think I have it set and settled now.  But then -- another mess-up happens with another reprint ordered, so I need to cut even more wood to work it out.  Ugh.

But my big idea to push for holidays NOW has stalled completely.  Production is super laggy (non-existent) so I'm slowly entering myself into the position I am in EVERY YEAR.  November comes, and I say to myself, if only I had prints MADE, I could then spend time trying to sell them, rather than be bogged down making them.  I can never seem to break the pattern.

So worried and focused on "events" that I have ZERO control over, but just are bonkers, and are heading somewhere, and the uncertainty drives me insane.  I am constantly checking my phone to see if the world has ended.   It's debilitating, to say the least.

 Long time no post.  Each day comes and goes, and I guess I just haven't had time to blog?  Sort of.

After AOA I spent time making the extra tees, and what ?? Haha, I'm at a loss - what have I been working on ??  

I made some prints for SM g-town, and then I finally worked on my commission that has long stalled, Friday.  Today I got my subs out, and updated the tees on site a bit.  

I look at them now and am not satisfied.  I AM NEVER SATISFIED !! 

 

Blah blah blah, in a negative mood.  Maybe just best to leave it there, and as ALWAYS, hope for better tomorrow.  And the next day. 

Great Saturday at AOA.  Not as terrific as '24, but still good.

Lots of thoughts, but it's time to go home.  Tomorrow is my B-Day!  Yay/Ugh

Until then. 

 

Bleary-eyed at 7:40pm after a long day printing bits and pieces.  Sort of drudgery, going back through, printing small runs of disparate pieces.  

Totes coming out well.  Staying clear of designs that I think would be tricky, and that was a good policy!  

The new shirts are harder than I thought - some just don't look good with the designs I have.  Or it's not universal.  So I have to plot it all out, which is exhausting at this point (the 12th hour).  Just want to be done.

Sadly, I still have a bunch of printing tomorrow.  Wanted to be done.  Ugh 

Finished Next Gen NYC as I printed, and it was a fun distraction but much better first half.  All stories sort of fizzled, which I guess is normal.  Brookes - not a fan.

Another day of shirt production.  Finally got the new ones in a what a difference!

WHAT 

WAS 

I 

THINKING 

WITH 

THOSE 

OTHER 

COLORS 

?????????????

These are SO much better, I just don't know why I was so brain-dead and didn't get the right ones.  I will regret it until my dying day (ha)

Everything got messed up because I got the shirts A F T E R I had already printed my screens with all the fuck ups and taping and bs that involves.  So it's not so fun to go thru that all again (and totes now too).  But that was my choice.

Terrible, awful morning making 1,000 printing errors.  So discouraged how they were turning out.  

Printing white has been a huge challenge with thick ink and it pulling up after printing.  And for some reason, i keep fucking up heights.  Ugh not good.  I just want to disappear these shirts and start over.  I wish I could.

Made teh leap to totes which scared me after past experience (the texture) but they are coming out well.  Taught myself to use 1 tote at the bottom as a "platform" and this seems to work pretty good.  Think I will drop the whole idea of redoing the positives to make them more tote sized -- too much work.  And colored ink has gone out the window as well.  At this point, I just want to get through them as fast as possible.

Printed (and posted) "precipice".  ha, a flop I think.  But I love it. trying to decide if it will be Oct postcard.  I'm leaning in that direction. 

Re-begged on speeding ticket  - another delay (yay) and something to be hopeful about.  I have really really been in the dumps lately.  

 

I don't know

I don't know

I don't know

Tumultuous days spent making shirts, fretting about my shitty color choices, beating myself up about my stupid designs, spiraling over "friends", and pulling the dogs along on our walks.  Life could be better.  My whole psyche could be better.  Right now it's shitty x 1,000

Spent way too long on the precipice design that just popped in my head and is so dry and niche.  After all that work "perfecting" it, I'm printing it on 2 shirts.  Two.  2.  

(THANK GOD I LOOKED AT THE SPELLING LAST MINUTE.  CLASSIC, DAVE)

So bogged down on friend upsets that its been muddling our dog walks.  Made some steps in another direction.  We'll see how that pans out.

Overall, just in a shitty place.  Want this show to be over, so I can move AWAY from it.  And of course the turning of the month doesn't help.  

 

 

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ out vs $ in

 

 

 Survived the dentist.  I fucking hate the dentist!

Production resumed, got shirts, and started printing using colors.  So far so good, like the direction.  Just wish I had gotten more brights and less sads.  How do I make this mistake always??????

Totes I'm putting to the side and I'm going to make screens that are bigger rather then just the tee sizes.  Think this is a good plan, but this whole enterprise is being stretched out and there will not be much room for anything else (SM).  Will be keen to see the weather forecast in the next few days. That will make or break me.

 

Thank god we don't have to rent a car anymore.  That takes away so much stress! 

 

 Tee production flop today as I waited for the delivery, and then it finally came and it's late, so why go home and come back.  ((delivered home because the UPS man cant seem to deliver to the studio without fucking up )). All just a big fuck-up sandwich with extra mayo.

Got some more colorful construction paper and printed on that all day, so at least something was accomplished.  Had the few sample tees in the studio, but none of them worked with what I had on the screens, and it seemed so dumb to print one only of each.  Such a mess!

Running out of ink, running out of everything.  Working with 1.5 screens.  All is just UGH.

 

Tomorrow > d e n t i s t.  I want to die. 

 

 Removed "mailing list" link on the blog, and that seems to have solved the spam -

 

working on AOA tees, and its slow going as usual.  I always do this to myself.  All of a sudden I have 1,000 ideas and no time.  Oh well.

 Ending the day so exhausted!  Weather was hot, and I made my SM trips, and combined with walking the ladies, I'm totally drained.

 

Finished teamwork and it came out great.  

Afterward, I was so on the fence about doing the SM runs, but think it was a good call.  I see the schedule laid out for the next few weeks, and I'm daunted!  Yikes.  I'll have to put Cheryl off. 

 

Next week I have the dentist, and I want to clear my whole month out for that, UGH.

Listening to early U2 - always make me so nostalgic.  Strange blah gloomy days.  Today felt so long.

Yesterday I was all high on getting covid vaccine, and then it all fizzled.  Fingers crossed it works out Friday.  Ugh, I really don't want the hangover! 

Anyway, got my TEAMWORK on wood print set up and printed, and can't think of much else I did.  Today I came in and finished it, then was left not knowing what to do next.  Ended up printing "Ball Dream" on paper, then wood, and it came out well.  Psyched myself up for a run of Teamwork on paper, and that's still in progress, but happy it's coming out well.  So many colors!   

Keep planning to do check ins with SM, but the trips seem like such a waste when I don't have anything to bring.  But that is the plan tomorrow.  Cheryl Friday.  UGH - have major major tee printing ahead.  Sort of dreading.  It's such a slog! 

 

Monday Monday

Another weekend where I spent time at the studio, so coming back on Monday feels not so inspiring.

Tended to the found orchids, printed 11 x 14 Dc Logo's, cleaned screens, finished up addressing postcards, stuck my nose into my neighbor's business, walked to the post office, cut some wood, looked thru all my positives for TEAMWORK and had ZERO LUCK, set it up in AI to print, primed and painted cut boards, walked ladies and went to the gym. 

THAT was my Monday.  pretty productive.  SO DEPRESSING paying citi bill, but that's business.  Loaded up some new things on Marketplace and no dm's yet.

Getting a lot of new email list subs, which makes no sense.  I replied to a bunch asking where they heard of me - - no response.  Also, crazy analytics on the blog, that make ZERO sense.  All I can think is AI AI AI bots bots bots.   

 

 Typical friday wrapping up things. - Finished up prints for SMG with "Hideous" spider print, and made a cute SNAKE SNAKE print on wood that I really liked.  I don't know why - I just really like that design.

Wrapped everything up and got it over.  Doing the drive by drop-offs to save time and mental anguish - haha, I'm always frustrated about something I can't control.  Back to studio and wrapped up custom cards and got some Subs out.  Happy with Sept postcard.  What a hard decision that all was.

New business cards got delivered, and were dropped at the wrong address again by UPS.  This time it was a mystery where, didn't recognize the location in proof of delivery photo. Panic set in, then decided to hunt, and just lucked out by seeing the UPS truck / driver, and he was super nice and figured it out with me.  HUGE HUGE Thank god. 

 

Gym, and now FINALLY heading into a project I've been avoiding.  SO fucking dumb for putting this off.  But I did.

Today I printed on paper all day:  

Spider had a shit day

I need Consistency

Small Pup / Big Cup 

Crazy that it takes so long to print.  Or that I'm so slow.  Because none of them are really that complicated to print.  But that's what I did, and that's what it took.

 

It's 7:01pm.  I'm going to the gym to sit in the steam 

 

 

 Messy day back but sort of productive.  Big project being shoved aside, yikes.  NEED TO FOCUS ON THAT TOMORROW.  Started some new prints on paper.  Finally finished totes.  Screens cleaned / made.  That's about it.  Ugh

 

 

 Super duper dud monday!!  I was in on saturday and sunday so I had ZERO interest in being here today.  Ugh

Tried and failed to make a go of it - pulled some ideas together for printing with the leftover screens from Friday (for the suite of prints on wood taken to gtown) and suddenly the vibes were just off.  None of the wood I had worked, and the one I did do turned out shitty (new bitch in town).

Thought about turning to paper, but zero inspiration on that led me nowhere.  Finally forced myself to complete the toes that have taken weeks, and made a screen.  Shitty idea was to put 3 designs on, and printing bit me in the ass as each time I didn't tape enough and I fucked it up.  Pug tote was a total loss.

Then coffee at 350 with Hex which put me in a better mode.  Fiddled around afterward (ugh) then had more motivation.  So I drew. and posted, and now it seems like it's a dud.  That's the sucky thing about drawing for IG, it can really turn excitement into despair.

Anyway, tomorrow is Cher, then massage.  A good chance to restart??  OR a big fat distraction?? 

 

First week of September over.  As usual, I wish I had accomplished more, but I did get some things done.

Tees ordered, prints made on wood, and delivered to SM, Halloween card designed ordered, and business card.  New postcard too.  What I failed to do was start a design project for cards, and complete / deliver the totes to wharf.  And I could have printed more too.

Went through ALL my positives, T W I C E to find these dumb little pieces that I convinced myself were there.  Saw what I thought they were grouped with in passing, then went on a hunt to track that down.  I never found it. And ended up not even using them anyway.

Sold some things on Marketplace, dog pen, desk, lamp.  That was good.  

No cher, which was probably a good call.  Especially with a short week to start. 

- - - - - 

17 years ago I started this venture.  Thought about it on my walk back from the gym - - hard to believe.  Makes me a little misty. 

 

Big day in Branddave history - my 17th anniversary!!  Hard to believe it's been that long, and also it doesn't seem long enough.

 

S L O W day back, late to the studio because of parking restrictions, then "fiddled" for hours making up for lost "fiddling" over the weekend.

Started assembling all my postcard club designs together so I could have them all in one place.  Became a good project to reintroduce myself to my work past and present.  I feel so incredibly disassociated from it and everything.  Anyway. I have to find some sort of path BACK, and thought this might be one.

Not posting on IG, and hardly drawing anymore.  Nothing new on the site for maybe a year.  All are so incredibly neglected as I just focus on SM.  

But I have to change.  Change has to come.  Something has to shift.  I can't go on like this. 

 

Productive monday.  Ebay poster SOLD!  so spent a bunch of time back and forth to post office to get packaging to ship.  Bummer because all in it was $30+ to ship.  Boo.  But glad it's out the door.  Found money.  So glad I found it in all my mess.  It was elusive!  Next step is for it to arrive safely.

Spent rest of day printing drop it, which took way too long.   WTF - my printing speed is getting ridiculous.

Marketplace items are a pain - lots of movement on the weekend, and zippo today.  Ugh.

 

 

Ugh to marketplace, and ebay.  Spending way too much time fretting over these stupid sales, with little to zero actual activity.  A watched pot never boils.

Most of the day I worked on the micro prints with the anticipation of 5 deadline.  Last minute placement idea went awry and then I didn't take the time to fix it (cut the wood). I rushed to sign and stain the sides, wrap them all up, and run them up to USPS.  THEN > regret regret regret over not making that stupid easy fix. 

Thought about reprinting it (haha after tossing the materials I was using to print) and then about recalling the package.  Both ideas just seemed bad and overkill, so I have to live with what I artistically decided.  Haha, it's tormenting!!  I want somehow to be able to fix it.  Make it perfect (in my eyes).  But I can't :(

UPS shipping error > super sleuthing > loss claim.

Back to working on tees for SM.  Messed up some XS with printing them too much to one side.  UGh Ugh UGH. 

 

Fall is sneaking in like a cat.  The whole vibe is shifting towards shorter days, dry leaves, buzzing bugs, and cooler temps.  Summer is fading away.

Worked for Cher today and left early to take ladies out, only to meet Hex at the studio taking the ladies out.  So basically a waste to leave early.  Saw jeanette + Ava and that was lovely.

All projects I started Tuesday night (micros and tees) just sat in limbo as I collected myself and basically did nothing here.  I thought maybe after a rest I would rally (and go for our longer later walk) but that didn't work out.  It never does.  After Cheryl my head is cooked.  I really have no brain power to do much here.  So the day just fizzles away and I feel crappy letting that be.

Got some new marketplace items posted, and got a nibble on my ebay poster.  We'll see how that goes.  Everything feels so scammy, or I mean every interaction with buyers is fraught with suspicion.  My defenses are up!

Tomorrow is a chance to get back on course and be productive!!

ps - realized the SM event I was so worried about isn't even in the shop.  

"Nothing is as it seems" 

 

 

 Tuesday

Weather broke after a few days of intense heat.  Finked out on the ladies Sunday because it was so f-ing hot and toxic.

Today I worked on cat micro commissions, and it was a little tough coming up with that third piece.  I finally had to just stick with what I had rather than keep searching.  I'm not being paid enough to search this much - haha.

 Single color commission looks like it's not happening?  I wonder - but guess so.

 After lots of angst and some back and forth with SM about card rack, I think it got resolved.  What a bummer that was.  I'm too afraid to look at JULY numbers (to confirm my suspicions) - time to move on and not be triggered.

Sad that I couldn't get to UM today with cards before the big event tomorrow.  Just didn't make sense, though.

Cheryl tomorrow. 

LOVING white lotus! 

Still too scared to upgrade macOS, but I'm so stuck on needing to do it (when I really don't need to, actually).  Messed around with it this weekend but made zero progress.

Absolutely horrified by current events.  SHIT DAMN FUCK it's bad and going to get worse.  

 

Friday night, and today was productive!  I need to spread these productive days out.

Forgot phone so had to go home, which lead to launching my SM runs from home instead of the studio, which means longer walks to and from the metro.  

Ugh, big drag because let me tell you IT IS SO FUCKING HOT / HUMID TODAY !!! I just walked the ladies at 7:30pm and I'm so incredibly hot sitting here.  TG for AC

Anyway, I had prints and stickers to drop, and discovered each needed cards + tees, and UM sucks because they have big events next week and I am probably not going to be able to print/ship tees there in time. 

Gtown was frustrating because my cards were moved / hidden, and it killed sales, and so I had to speak up and hope/pray they listen to me.  Its always a battle over shop placement.  I'm always needed to defend my turf.  I just don't get why they moved them ??  U G H.

Ordered a boatload of cards, and new postcards for Firehook (not firehook).  Those keep getting disappeared, and I'm really curious how.  Hex had the bright idea to add a sticker to the "holder" so I did that today, and a little sign like Shoebox that says more will be coming at the back of the stack. 

Lots to do next week.  Glad it's weekend, but  I NEED TO NOT LIE AROUND AND BE A SLUG.  I HAVE TO NOT LIE AROUND AND BE A SLUG. 

I'm expecting Hex to call any minute, saying he is done at the Dr. office and ready to meet at 18/P.

ok day.  Felt like shit this morning after waking up early, beautiful day ahead, hex out the door early, and I just sat on my ass at home, watched tv, veged out, and waited for 11:30 so I could go after parking restrictions had lifted.  

I could have done 1,000 things with my time, but I ALWAYS choose the lazyist path.  Always.  And then always beat myself up for being such a lazy loser, wasting time.

Anyway, on to other things.

 

Printed "Nobody Said Anything", final print with my screens made last week.  Took a long time but I think it came out great.  I spent all this time trying to find the draft in my computer, so I had an idea of the colors I had already worked out.  So strange, I couldn't find it anywhere.  Nowhere.  How do I let this things get shuffled off??  I can't figure out why it's not saved in the right spot. 

 

Hex called - goodnight!! 

 

It Doesn't Matter Too // Depeche Mode

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, oh, what a feeling inside of me

 It might last for an hour
 

Wounds aren't healing inside of me
 

Though it feels good now
 

I know it's only for now

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I worked myself into a frenzy today over the news, popville, my vet, the neighbor's trash pile, and a client.  All frustrations that led to nowhere, but they made me crazed and angry and frustrated.  Here I am, 7:45pm, still all tangled in knots.

Ok weekend, more of the same.  Echo got her shots, Emma got her Rock Creek, and we made a really good peach pie.

Lots of Curb Your Enthusiasm and a really terrible move named Trap.  Monumentally terrible.  Just awful.

Picked up my matches from DCAC sunday night.  An anticlimactic ending, but that's ok I guess.  39 matches left.  

 I didn't consult my records to see sales vs steals.  Maybe I'm just too scared I'll find out a bunch were stolen.  Probably not when I think about it.  

Anyway, a good idea I think.  I put all the extra blank matches away, after briefly thinking about posting them for sale on marketplace.  But I did a quick search, and nothing like that is on there, so decided against it.  

 

NOTE: FINALLY sold the KONG leash.  Thank God. 

 

Finished Party Cat print that I started Friday, and it turned out ok.  Now just need to finish the fish.

Lots of back and forth with XXXX and I'm thinking I should just cut the whole thing off.  Almost sent a nasty email Friday but edited out the nasty last minute.  But the turmoil continues, and it's becoming very frustrating dealing with.  to be continued ...

 

Ebay sales WAY TOO DISTRACTING.  I got to cut that off too.  I am constantly checking the stats and there is no movement.  Ugh, I become so obsessive.  More so now than ever. 

*** new sticker ***

 

 It's FRYDAY already!  Actually, it felt like a long week.  Can't believe Monday I was with Cheryl.  Feels like 2 weeks ago.

Tuesday I was feeling not so great, so not productive.  Wednesday I was in late but got started.  But really I have been 50-60% all week.  Ah, August!.  I hate August.

Today I was surprised to realize I had only completed ONE print by 5 or so.  Crazy.  It was multicolor, but still wtf.  So slow Dave.

 

Anyway, got more paper at Blick and scored a free pad (cashier made mistake).  Great sale so I bet I go back for more.  And maybe more free ones haha.

Got stickers, and wanted to like them 15% more.  They are nice, but not wow somehow.  Maybe it's the material?  The expensive ones just have something extra.  But these are so incredibly cheap, I have to just shut up about it.

 

Oops, need to cut this short, Hex ready for his Friday night pickup at 18 & P.  

 

Until later... 

 

 $$$$$ going out

$$ coming in 

Ugh I hate paying bills!  Who doesn't?  But when you work for yourself, you never know how the future will be.  And I expect August to be terrible.  We'll see.

Worked on printing all day today, and things went fine.  Funny because step by step I decided to reprint the commission ones from yesterday, and it all went so smoothly this time around.  Probably because I had the colors worked out and leftover, so it was just a matter of printing them well.  And they came out great.

Not much more to report,  Weather broke temp wise, but gloomy day today.  Nice to walk the dogs and not be dying of heat all the way.

Usually I would be all geared up for the annual dog days sale on 14th st. (usually this weekend) but it doesn't seem to be going on this year.  Maybe it will.  Last year was a total, complete bust, so I was in no mood to repeat.  Maybe because of the extreme heat, but noticed year after year that it was diminishing.  So on to other things.

Showed the bsur girls the tattoo that I drew, and they were very high on me trying to make that a thing.  Another good idea, I guess, but I don't know. 

 

Andrew Smith by Bruce Weber

 

Some success today, so that is good.  Worked out xxxx with xxxx which takes a load off my shoulders for another year.  It's always on my mind starting in January.  Crazy.  Put the whole thing off, then got a taste of my own medicine as I tried to wrap it up.  Anyway, glad about that.

Got notice that Echo is up for her vaccines, which makes me reminisce about those days looking for the mini cooper, getting her, and all that fun and excitement.

 

Finished up the two prints I was so angsty about yesterday, and they came out well.  Almost better than the one I made earlier that they are meant to compliment.  But I can't remake that.  Anyway, glad they are finished.  Put the work in to make them special.  Hope they are enjoyed!  

Not much more to report.  Working on new general prints.  Need to turn to cards, but I've been stalling on that.  Postcard is already finished for August, so that's off the list.

August blues ahead.  

It's so dead outside, between the heat and rain and vacation time.  I hate this feeling. But I have to just enjoy it, because its so specific, and so fleeting.  And I KNOW I'll be sad when September comes, and summer is suddenly over. 

 

more

more

more

of

of

of

the

the

the

same

same 

same

 

summertime blues in full effect as emails and everything basically dry up.  Waiting to hear from XXX about XXXX and its making me super anxious.

Coming into studio and going into slow gear as I print, clean screens, and prepare new ones.  Trying to get through this commission series, and to say I've slow-rolled it would be a huge understatement.  Each piece is a long slog.  Now at the end of the day, when I SHOULD have 2 completed prints, I have one barely started.  And I feel guilty about it.

Super hot, so taking out dogs is miserable.  But staying inside all day is miserable too.  I went on a safeway run just to escape.

Found two things today: a half dead plant, and an air tag.  Took the plant in after some hemming and hawing.  Stripped the dead leaves.  Maybe it will revive?

Took the airtag apart after some googling, heard some beeps, and managed to synch it to my phone.  All systems were go, thought I was on my way, until the last step, when it told me it was already locked (so, useless).  Haha, I was totally tricked into thinking I had myself a new airtag. 

 

I saw the most interesting youtube video this morning titled why creative success destroys people.  It was so fascinating and made me see success in such a different way, and creative people too.  Really great.

 

Glad to have gotten my super old mac erased finally and on Sunday hex and I took it to the apple store (Carnegie - wow such a nice store).  Made me sad to think about how it had become worthless, when it was such a part of early branddave, and I was so excited to buy it.  All these years later it's just a nuisance, in my way, and junk.  

 Ugh - that is how I tend to think about e v e r y t h i n g lately.  Once prized, now trashed. 

Well, it had to be done, I have my "new" 2017 one now and keep thinking about what's next.  Really for no good reason, this one is working great, and the next leap forward really gets me less for a lot more $$ (I have to buy in parts now if I want a big screen).  I don't know why I've been so high on getting a new mac lately.  The itch just keeps coming up.  BUT IT'S STUPID -- THIS COMPUTER IS PERFECTLY FINE.  I just need to bite the bullet and update the OS a few steps.

Terrible foot pain over the weekend and I can't help but think it's the crocs, and walking long distances in them.  Has to be.  So back to my uncomfortable shoes, and I think it's made a difference.  Hard to say, but at least my feet are not in tremendous pain.

 

Back to super hot, swampy weather.  My week ahead is scary open.  No Cheryl (on vacay), and no tormenting commission projects to worry about.  Emails were sent, taxes filed.  Ugh, just have to worry about the end of the month, and all the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ going out on the 1st again.

Today I got some new stickers ordered (finally).  Think it's a fun group.  Man, stickers are profitable.  I need to make more.

Match sales slowed way down, boo.  Show ends August 10 

FB marketplace a bust for this table lamp.  So strange, the way things get attention, but no interest. 

 

 

 

Ugh days go by.

 

Not much creative progress.  Slow rolling prints for G town, and other projects.

Wish I could do better.  It's always at the end of the day that I feel crappy.  I want to go back and do it all over again. 

Progress:

VA car transponder

Marketplace lamp

reorder mis shipped tee

postcard club mailed

prints curated and packed for gtown

stickers started

 

Yikes - completely exhausted, wiped out, running on empty.  The heat?

Early went to Wharf, then home and studio.  Not an especially busy day, I just think it's mental, and frustration over not finishing prints for Gown.  Got some new matches up to DCAC.

 

ugh, tomorrow is another day. 

 Long slog of a day turned into a long slog of a week.  Haha, not going to Cher's changes things.  Last week I was so pressed.  This week I'm back to a big time spread.

Finished up shirts for Wharf, but punked out of the delivery.  Its just so damn fucking H O T !!  So I decided to do it tomorrow morning.

 

I was also walking up to post office + DCAC in sort of combo trip, new matches and hoody package in hand.  Then I spotted a postal truck right out the door, dropped the hoodie with him, and indecisively proceeded to walk up to DCAC.  Got a half block and turned around, deciding to make more matches and potentially go tomorrow?  Haha, the heat got to me!  The cursed heat!! 

AC pumping all day and I just want it to stop!!

Fun moment running into a group of ladies who lived in the studio back in early 2000's.  They were so chipper and it put me in a nice mood.

Extra:  sold the 2 desks, and a bathroom caddy.  YAY. Painful kind-of -- with all the back and forth.  People are nutty! 

 

More HOT days.  Sitting in the AC all day is nice, but I hate it at the same time.  But I'm so GRATEFUL I have it.  But it's also this strange white noise that gets tiring.

Massage yesterday, so body feels looser.  Finished up a lot of loose ends, and got good reports from SM.  Today I finally got to the hoodie, and tees for Wharf, and some more prints on paper.  Printing a lot.

Matches selling, which is so funny and great. 32 so far.  When I contemplate sitting down and making more, I'm uninspired to do it. But I should.  Creative energy just comes and goes.  Not coming so much.

Leaving for the night on a Wednesday.  A lot to do as always.

ps - get so distracted, my FB marketplace.  One thing will sell easily, and then I get all high on that, and the others just stall and turn into the giant pile of crappy distraction and frustration.  so dumb 

 

Ugh these Facebook marketplace people make me crazy!  I guess it's understandable a severe storm would fuck up schedules, but its still "kind" to at lease let me know your new plans instead of just nothing?

We have had this shitty pattern of extreme heat in the day, and terrible rain in the evening.  Messes up my dog schedule!  It's 7:30 and I still need to walk them.  But waiting on pickups that don't seem to be happening after all.

Days continue to be weird, with a lot to do, time going by fast, and just working through things too slow, with breaks.  Frustrating and limiting.

 

Good news, I was accepted in to Art on Ave after all.  That feels like a lifeline into the future.  A very uncertain future!

Finished up cards, and they turned out to be a mountain of work with all the drawing, then designing, then printing and assembling.  Having multiples to do took the wind out of my sail.  I think they will be received well - I hope so!!  They are the best I could do with what I have.  Haha, I guess I'm saying I'm not really sure about them.  Will be so happy to have it all off my plate so I can move forward on other things.  This project has lingered too long!

 

 

 

 

Tired and running on empty after a few busy days and deadline pressure.  Had that moment where 3-4 things had to be accomplished at the same time, and my head started to explode.  Most got pushed aside as I concentrated on making matchbooks for wall mountables, and prints for GTown.

Matches were really fun.  I got 600 in on Wednesday, and just started making them stream of consciousness style.  Got to 50, then added about 25 on Friday.  Thursday I had the 5:30 install deadline, and had no idea what I was going to do / how I could present them.  Worked it out over a few hours, finally settling on an old box, and a simple frame to hang, 

When I got there, it took me about 10 minutes (great planning, dave!!).  Left it empty, and a place for my printed sign, and left.  Got. A great spot.

Washed out on Friday midday, feeling so run down and crappy.  Only got about 1/3 of the prints made I had planned, and drove out to gtown feeling defeated.  Got the sign printed, and walked up to DCAC at around 7 to dump matches and split!  ((Amazed that my little blurry venmo pattern that I printed on the wood worked))

Left feeling super defeated.  Thought nobody would be interested, and just completely exhausted after the days.  But then Venmo payments started coming in, and my mood swung right around!

 

That meant people were in fact enjoying them, looking through them, just as I had intended.

 

Anyway, that brings me to today.  In unhappily, to catch up on the card project that I started and put off mid week to work on matches.  UGH. Another long slog of design uncertainty.  After hours of work I think I cracked the design code, but now still have a lot ahead assembling the parts for (3) cards. 

And there is a mountain of other stuff too, all put off and waiting.  Saturday night at 7:26.   Leaving for now, and not planning to work tomorrow.

 

U G H 

 

Lots of blog and journal reading past few days.  Last days of college and first summer home, avoiding looking for a job and hanging out with church friends.  Amazing how similar the feelings have been throughout the years.  Different circumstances, but I find myself in all the same patterns and frustrations.  Mind opening and sad at the same time.

Wish I had more of a record beyond that.  Capital Presentations, meeting back up with cord, and starting up at BSUR.  I don't think I did much journaling in that period, and really regret it.  Maybe it was too transformative, and I was busy living it.  Hmmm.

Anyway, lots of anxiety returning to the studio this morning after a long weekend.  I was here working some Saturday, but it's hard getting back into the swing, and facing stuff I knew I wasn't looking forward to facing, and had the holiday+weekend as a shield.

Made some progress today.  That is to be expected.  Glad about where I am, I guess.  BIG week ahead, and tomorrow is Cher again, so all will be on hold. Haha, classic.

Joined up with Wall mountables / dcac saturday, then mind went into overdrive.  CLASSIC!! Determined NOT to do it, let the time get critical, get FOMO, and sign up last minute, where I have NO TIME to do something well, get super ambitious, and set myself up for failure because really, I should have given myself more fucking time.

Matches ordered.  Crazy classic.  We'll see how it shakes out.