postcards in! and they look great.

I had so much fun mixing them all up just now. Reminded me so much of playing with my whacky-pack cards years ago, with Sue and Cathi Harper. Flipping / and trading, trying to get that coveted fruit of the tomb card. And it also reminds me of Sue's stash, held tight with a rubber band. The smell of her cedar chest, and fur pieces. It brought up so many sweet memories.

ANYWAY- I'm super happy with the cards, and want to just keep making more and more and more. I love the idea of them all mixed together. That's me- I'm a salad. All sorts of different flavors and textures and pieces. I really love that idea, and plan to stick with it.

I'm having (is that all there is?) feelings about my artomatic set-up. Like "where's the beef?" Maybe I didn't go far enough. Maybe it's all too one note. I don't know. Im afraid it's too much of a snack, and I'm feeling more inclined to serve a meal. (so many food metaphors!)

I'm sort of crazed about taking more pictures. I want more. More. I have only scratched the surface.

dear dave,

feel super saturated with sleepyness.

Finished up artomatic yesterday - a marathon of screwing, pasting, driving, fretting, and fighting. Conflict added a really sour note to all the excitement I felt.

When I figured out what to do with the grey board, I felt golden. Everything came together after that. I have a few loose ends to wrap up before Friday, but those should be no big deal.

Worried about branddave.com. All my traffic seems to have dried up, and I'm not sure why. I guess I need to constantly push, but I don't know how. Hopefully I can figure this out.

I'm just tired, but I need to push on. It's all good.

Dear Dave,

Im really excited about setting up an ongoing relationship with Dave K. Every time I see him, I see something different, and inspiring. I'm not sure I've captured it yet, but there is something interesting there I'm looking for. Really excited to have the chance to work with him, and be creative. This is fantastic, and an important milestone for branddave.

dear dave,

working today, on artomatic. There is still a lot I would like to do.

Found a terrific piece of painted plywood last night, while on my elevator dude shift. Brought it back upstairs, and fell in love with it. But of course it changed the dimensions of my booth, and that means changing a lot of the layout. I was unsettled with it anyway. Wishing it was just a little but wider, but oh well.

Did a crazy thing, which I can't write about, but really interested to see how it plays out!

Felt like a small drop in a big sea when I surveyed the show. Wow, there is TONS. How do you stand out?

Lots of little (fun) details to hammer out. Wish it wasn't in middle of the holiday, but oh well.

Ordered postcards today. Funny, because I am just going ahead, without considering my content. I wonder if it will be shocking or ho hum. probably somewhere in the middle.

content

words, words, words

Uggg - website and blog traffic WAY down. MUST refresh, and push. It needs to be a constant motion. Im overwhelmed.

dear dave,

I was worn out before I got here! Warm day, and I took the metro. I was so engrossed writing an email that I missed my stop by 2 stations! What a dork.

Happy its Friday. "Posters" are done. I'm sort of scared to see them. I feel like I have to pick them up today, but Im on METRO. Uggg.

Need to work on Gary T's and assorted projects. Exciting and fun.

Off to ROCKVILLE

dear dave,

I'm tired from the inside.

Finally got all my photos together. Yesterday was a marathon in shooting and editing. I think I'm still washed out from it.
This morning I was feeling a bit clearer, and managed to narrow down my final 12 to show. I'm super happy with them. hopefully they print well, but I actually liked how they came out of my shi%%y printer, so they can only get better from there.

My office is still all 6's and 7's, and my head sort of hurts, and now my eye is starting to be twitchy. Plus its warm in here.

Beck is loud in the background, and Remi is sprawled out on the floor.

Things are messy, I'm messy, but feeling accomplished.

Dave K is a star! I love shooting him.

dear dave,

what a blast I had last night. A major turning point, and something that I have been building up to. There were ins and outs, but overall, I LOVED it. Like jumping out of a plane. I want to do it again and again and again, and some more after that.

Editing the photos today is FUN. All needs to be done in time for artomatic. I think I can make it.

So many things going on in my head, but unsure how to write them all down. I really feel like I have found a super creative part of myself that I have been looking for. Or afraid to show. Its all so wrapped up in my identity. My inner feelings and desires. And fear and shame. Coming out was always only one piece of the puzzle. Showing all my cards has never been as easy. But I'm working on it, and loving it. I love expression myself. My gay self. My magnetic attraction to men. And bodies, and images, and sexuality. I'm finding my way, and I feel really happy and fulfilled.

I am Dave.

dear dave,

big day today. I'm having a hard time focusing on what I am supposed to do, because I am anxious about later. All the little things I need to be concerned about.

Great morning shooting Thomas. I'm really happy with the outcome - hope he is too!

Artomatic catalog up, which I worked on yesterday. Took some fun pictures of my prints, and uploaded. I feel more prepared this year. Still have some stuff to do, but HOPEFULLY, things will work according to plan.

I'm so cold! I'm shivering right now. I think it's nerves.

I love when guys do this...

dear dave,

I took this picture of remi last night, after her bath. She was all fluffy and soft. She is my baby.

Happy with my work at artomatic saturday. Think it went well. hoping for the best with my "new" neighbor. Cannot believe this has happened to me again, but my fingers are crossed that it wont be a big deal.

Watched a bunch of 48 hr movies from last year. The best of compilation DVD. Some were great, but nothing really blew me away. I considered trying again for the Baltimore weekend, but I think my money is probably better spent on other things.

Trying to pull together my photo project. Unsure how to print them. I REALLY want them to look like magazine pull outs, but that doesnt seem to be working out, and is probably a bad idea anyway. How to print them? Im sort of stumped, and running out of time to figure it out.

Everything else seems to be coming together. Lots of things to do. I better get to it.

dear dave,
at artomatic, waiting to get in to start setting up my lights. should be pretty easy.

another busy day.

ok-I'm going in now--I'm anxious.

Sean&Seng

I love this photo - found here

dear dave,

yesterday things came together for my photo shoot next week, which I'm really excited about. Nervous but excited. If all goes well, my artomatic space is going to ROCK.

My other photo shoots fizzled, which is really crazy. I have not had much luck lately pulling them off. I guess it's all happened for a reason.

In the afternoon, hexy and I bought and planted annuals for my mothers front yard. It was really nice to dig and plant. Hopeful. But I feel so much stress when I am there. I see so many things I want to help them with, and do for them. I get so worried. I could just feel all this anxiety well up in me. I need to deal with that.

Feel good that its Friday - but I have a lot on my plate. I keep looking for my path. Sometimes I get so worried that I am WAY off the mark. I really don't know where I'm going. That was fine a few months ago. Lately, I've been just plain scared.