dear dave

excited to see the blog traffic, but so curious about where it is coming from.

sunny sunny day. nice to see that.

I feel out of sorts, since its kind of a holiday, but everybody seems to be working, unlike yesterday. Now that I'm here, I'm happy to be here.

I brought Remi along, and she seems content. She gets SOOO excited when i ask her if she wants to "go to work". I think she remembers her puppy days, when she came with me everyday and stayed under my desk in her cage. Its nice to have her back.

welcome home remi!

dear dave

lots of new blog readers are showing up. I don't know where they are coming from, but WELCOME!! Hopefully you will all come back regularly.

I'm sitting here in the empty studio, dancing in my chair to KANYE WEST'S new CD. LOVE IT. I love how repetitive it is. It feels really unfinished - which I love. I don't know if that's a good way to describe it. Anyway. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I think it will give me creative fuel for awhile!

Before I went to sleep last night, I had soooo many ideas. Ideas for pictures I wanted to take, videos I wanted to put together, and drawings I wanted to scrawl. Most of it is gone now, or maybe they were stupid ideas. i don't know. its just that my mind is buzzzzzing with ideas, which I love. I'm excited to do things. To create. Collaborate. Make new. See.

ok - off to draw (more)

dear dave

relaxing weekend spent playing wii, doing cardio, rubbing remi, and eating cookies. Christmas was terrific, and so was christmas eve. Fun time with friends and family and bf. Most of the time we just hung out and and didn't do much. No movies or tv marathons. Lots of ham though and powdered sugar.

Nice to be back today, drawing and posting. I don't know what I'm doing, but I sure am enjoying myself doing it. I have moments of panic (monday mornings) but drawing seems to reassure me. I am on the right path. I have little control. The current will guide me.

I feel really happy reaching this conclusion. It feels so right. I am confident in my choices. I am the person I want to be, doing what I want to do. I am success.

sea of sin, know where you've been, but I don't care!!!

dear dave,

alone in the studio, with my radio up, and the sun streaming in. A perfect monday moment.

I remember using grandmas car, going out late for fresh doughnuts. I was lonely, but happy at the same time.

I remember sitting on my floor, in my white post college room, tying little pieces of cardboard to balsa wood mobiles.

I remember stopping off at the lake beach on my way to Chicago, and taking self portraits in the sunset.

I remember walking around the wide open field with morgan, avoiding the bees on the clovers. The air was so humid, the grass was sweating.

I remember peeling off my wet bathing suit in the gym shower after class.

I remember waiting for the metro in the snow, off to get the elusive Buzzy ad in friendship heights with Ken (hairy legs)

dear Dave

sort of lazy day, spent running around trying to buy presents. It takes time. And its a battle on the roads.

I'm back at the office, with my shopping buddy (above). Its soooo nice to have her here. I feel safe.

ps-Remi LOVES sleeping on my right arm when Im driving. Ever since she was a puppy, she has always laid her head there. It must make her happy.

dear dave

I have the mondays. its super cold, but sunny. I need to shop, and finish things. But all I feel like doing is starting new things. Im cold. Maybe I should start by putting some music on, and a sweater.

Fun weekend. Came to the office Saturday, and worked on FREEHAND, and started a video. When I came back this morning, I didn't like the video at all, and I had already erased most of my work on FREEHAND. So now I feel sort of blank. Happy to have finally bought the DEC L'uomo. But now what?

Lunch, and drawing. More drawing.

dear dave

i feel so much better. I feel like a new man. massages are great.

It's rainy again. Days and days of rain are wearing on me. But I love walking down the hill from the parking park in the rain, through the neighborhood. It is soothing and comforting.

The Corcoran has closed for the holidays, and it feels like things are slowing down a lot. Today I'm going to draw, and maybe work on my Brady Bunch video.

Im off.

dear dave

feeling ok today. Afraid a cold is coming on. airborne may be a placebo, but I'm using it anyway.

work on Branddave is going well. I have a huge cache of drawings to use. Now I just need to figure out what to use them for. I LOVE DOING THIS. Being on my own. Making things. Drawing. Im terribly happy.

Signed up for another stint at the corcoran. considering FLASH, but then I talk myself out of it. I think the structure of a class could be really helpful. i just can't decide on it.

Party last night was fun, even though the meet was impossible to cut. Excited about making christmas cookies, and spending time with my honey, and friends. All my terrific friends.

anticipations:

ebay photo
models
t-shirts
animation
mobiles
haircut
surgery
surf

dear dave.

yikes! bad to worse. Now its all about making myself happy again. Im turning my music up loud! and PLAYING!

dear dave

i feel so lost today. Lunch at Chipotle didn't clear things up.

I'm in such a muddle, mostly because I don't feel any creative energy. And that makes my mind wonder. In bad directions. Frustrated directions.

I wish I had a quick remedy. i don't want to stay in this ditch for long. The grey skies are not helping at all.

Quick! Look over there!!

dear dave
sometimes you have to make cuts, to stimulate new growth.

waiting at starbucks. Making cuts.

dear dave

I need to pull myself together (scattered again). Time to turn on hte stove, and get baking.

Things to do:

assemble mobile
plan wednesday prints
get ashers t
find models
lay pipe

stay tuned

dear dave.

Listening to YAZ, and thinking about things. Its cloudy again! When I was driving in, I was thinking about warm air and sun. I was in the mood for it.

So much going on, all around. It sort of feels like things are crumbling. All the news is bad. Things are falling apart. Companies, social orders, politicians, relationships, jobs, neighbors, mothers, schedules. So much is in flux. I sort of feel like most the time I am breezily floating above it, maintaining sanity, health, and happiness. But every once in a while I touch down and it hits me - and hurts. Luckily I don't get stuck down. Yet. Hopefully never.

There was such an intense buildup to this weekend, and then things just sort of fizzled. I was expecting a much bigger orgasm. Now I'm just feeling blah. But I am VERY CONFIDENT about my success. IT will come (it already has).

Lessons learned:

Off the walls is off the rails.
meter maids come at 11:30
eBay is addictive
flour DOES NOT work as paste.
Things take more time
Canon prints bleed
Loumo runs LATE
Remi needs attention
people don't return emails
somebody is reading your files
H doesn't like garlic breath
get $ upfront

Looking out the window, I see warm sunny skies. Soft light. I'm going to change my music, and open the window.

Here's to new.

dear dave,

I feel tired, but content. Fun full day yesterday. Not enough time, so much to do. But that is how I like to operate.

Show looks good. Sold a few things. Had a few laughs. Met some nice people.

Not in the mood to write. more later?
ps - above is my friend the red dumpster, which generously gave me some drywall slabs to print on this morning. Thanks red dumpster!!

finish tomorrow.

tired

dear dave

last night was fun, but strange. Today at CORCORAN sucked.

Now I'm focused on 4903 show. working on mobiles! More later.

dear dave

my stomach is EMPTY, and begging. Great morning, but rainy. Dropped ornaments off at various destinations, and they were well received. Such a fun project to work on with hexy. We are having a great time.

Time is ticking by, and I seem to let it. Tomorrow is CORCORAN, and sat/sun is 4903. I think I will feel sort of relived Monday. But probably sort of let down also.

My alarm has rung - time to move the miata. back in a sec.

ok, Im back. But my stomach feels even more empty now. Maybe its best I put some pizza in it asap. ok-I think I'll do that now.

I am happy.

dear dave,

things working out well. such a dark day outside today. Its amazing how dark and cloudy it can get.

Ornaments are selling well. We are really excited about the project. Today Im planning to print the boxes. Last night we attached arms and scarves.

Excited about my brady bunch prints, and my mobiles, and iron ons. Everything going well. I guess I will just continue!

dear dave

yesterday was spent with my head cut off.

Came to the office late-ish, and worked on show announcements. Then flew to the studio and worked on prints. I think the curse has lifted, now that I have abandoned the pegboard I was working on. But for some reason, simple simple prints took extra effort. Prints on styrofoam were pretty successful, and the giant board is printed. Great feedback from pepa.

Thought about working late, but decided to go to VIDA instead.

A lot is coming up toward the end of the week. I need to find focus. I feel so scattered (still). Hopefully my head can clear, and I can be back on my way.

dear dave -

something keeps happening - something terrific. I will be listening to music that I love, and my whole body will tingle in pleasure. CHILLS. Sort of orgasmy. I don't know why this is happening lately, but I love it. I feel like my core is being stimulated. My insides are happy.

Anyway - terrific night last night. sort of a bummer ending, but necessary to make progress. Who am I? What the fuck do I think I'm doing?? All good questions to ask yourself, and have answers to. I guess I deserve to be pressed, I need it.

So many memories. I'm so aware of memories lately. I keep telling myself - i need to remember this time. I am happy, and alive, and I want to remember that. To tap into it when I need to. (CHILLS AGAIN - to KILL BILL soundtrack)

I love loud music. Pine smell. Woodland animals. And traffic cones.

Upsidedown desks and coffee are pretty cool too!

LIBRA 12-4-08 You are feeling the pinch, as the amount of time you need to complete a task doesn't nearly match the time you have to dedicate to it. Breathe your way through. A Pisces will be your touchstone.

dear dave,

calling all Pisces!! feeling manic still. Luckily I have pet shop boys to see me through.

Yesterday was crazy. Hopefully today will be more managed and calm. Now...work.

RRRRRR

what a drag - cursed. Studio time was a flop. None of my positives were dark enough to make workable screens. temptation to go ahead crept in, but I fought it tooth and nail. I guess I will just have less work to show.

I have a few hours to burn - but on what? I'm sure I will think of something good.

dear dave

productive morning. Hopefully productive day!

planned out the shows last night (a bit). Signed prints. inventoried.

Going to the corcoran today to print wood and styrofoam (that magically presented itself to me).

Many exciting projects! Happy almost birthday hexy!! Too hyper to write more now. MAybe later.

dear dave

feeling a little bit manic. so much to do, but I'm so very unfocused. I don't know where to put my energy, so I try to diffuse it on stupid stuff. Like blogging (sorry).

The smell of pizza dough is wafting up from downstairs. Beverly, Gayle, and Analya are talking and working. The sun is shining. Michael Buble is singing.

I feel manic, but content. Snugly. Safe.

blah blah blah - feeling kind of blah.
so many things to work on.
blah

dear dave

back back back. Like a bungee cord - whipped back to regular life, out of the wonderful holiday bubble.

The past 4 days were great. I loved being with hxy and friends - and so look forward to the next few weeks.

back to drawing - and printing. Both feet on the ground.

goodluck!