A moment of mental transition.  Such an up and down week last week I didn't even have time to blog.

monday - lonely holiday

tuesday - back to work, and a super fun chicken with Kim

wednesday - long emotional slog out to Frederick with Bill John Mom dad to look at new home for them.  rest of day was mental d r a i n.  then I got gusto to work on DCAC wall mountables which was last minute - just like I always do to myself.  

Pulled out all the Dolcezza construction boxes and slapped paint on them indiscriminately, and was all inspired by them (blank).  then when I put energy into what I would actually print on them, I hit a roadblock, and left for the night (jazzed)

Thursday - Returned much more practical, since I only had up to 3pm to pull together 4 prints for the show.  Made a cicada which I was really unhappy with, and then last minute remade it, and hung up at the show just before closing.

 

Friday - Got cards and envelopes in, and made a mad dash to get them all out to PIXIES, BUZZ and shop mades.  Late afternoon I got stuck in rain at g-town shopmade, and put off other trips until today.  

Terribly disappointed and super discouraged by shopmade g-town, and where they put me in the shop.  It was a punch in the gut to see my stuff removed from the main store, and with f-ing dog treats.  I was seething inside, but stuck there and didn't want to explode all over.  Finally said something, and hopefully it got resolved for the better (to be continued ...).

 

Today Hex and I went to Buzz and Wharf / Roost to do a grand drop off/pick up and mental reorganization.  All has gotten me really down about how things are selling, and how they just get stuck there, rotting like fruit.  Its mostly mental, and tied up in sentimentality and personalization.  In the end, they are just products.  But I take it all very personally and let it bog me down.  Meaning, if things are not selling, Im a total loser.

 A continuation of a shitty spring, turning on myself as an artist and a business person.  Always saying: WTF am I doing???  YOU SUCK!  Nobody wants to buy anything you make.  Im always chasing around to figure out what to make and sell, and I never get an answer.  I think I found a new event or situation or hashtag that will turn things around, but it doesn't.  I'm just treading water, trying not to drown.  Am I delusional?  What has happened?   It seems like it was so much easier years ago.  What changed??  Something did, i just can't fucking figure it out.  

 

Then I lose interest, and convince myself to stay the course.  WHAT COURSE??

 

 

Back at the studio now, in the AC, and trying to recover my head.  Make a plan for success going forward.  Let the shit go, and move forward.  there is a path for success, I just need to find it.