Wednesday, April 9, 2008

if you like that you'll love this and me

dear dave,
obsession depression. one thing works, another thing doesnt. Everything wont bend to my will. revise revise revise. rechange. sort out. reshoot. rescan. trace. save as.

everything is on a down cycle. obsessed over my new video project, but work on it in snippets, then want to do-over. its only a minute anyway. what am I thinking (im not thinking).

Want to abandon my prints. Want to paint. On what. How? No time.

snippets of ideas. too many snippets. Im getting ahead of myself, but I stay behind. Frustration. Anxiety, relief. Fear.

Its all in there.

im in the pool, instructors give me vague instructions, with my gear on, sucking for air. I DONT want to scuba ron. dont make me.

avoiding things gets me no place. nowhere. my projects can wait. PLEASE HOLD I need excercise.

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