dear dave,

I'm really struggling with myself these past few days. I'm working, but getting nothing done. Mostly I'm just stalling. And avoiding making any choices about my show. I feel stuck. How to move forward.

Just writing this maybe will help.

I'm worried about the space, and especially how to organize it, and make it cohesive. WHAT do I do with all my photographs. I feel really stumped. I really don't see them as art. I struggled with this at Artomatic. Of course that grouping had nudity, so it demanded some sort of attention - which I won't be doing here.

I feel like I have tons of nothing. Pictures of Dave that are personal, and only significant to me. I don't even know that they are significant to him. The magazine project felt like a perfect vehicle to organize and package them. Even then though, I didn't know what I was going to do with them. Give them away? In the end it fell flat anyway, although I'm still considering it for the future.

Somehow I need to just make peace with it all. Settle on a plan, and make peace. I'm thinking that I should just print them like artomatic, paste them to the wall, and move on. They are not something anybody would want to buy. they are not important enough to put in a frame. UGH!

I just am so conflicted and bogged down. I cannot allow myself to move forward. I am in some sort of self-punishment mode. Angry at myself for being lazy and undisciplined. Insecure and scared. And super stuck.