oops - I did it again.

Same mistakes

Same frustrations

Different day.

so so day printing.  Almost done with the 6.  Such a project.  So many pitfalls.  I really can't believe it.

I wish I could be happier with them.

Figured I'd call them: No Bodies Perfect

That seems clever.

dear dave,

back at the corcoran, on a productive Saturday. I've been stressed about getting these 6 prints done, so I got here early to secure a space. Had my wood, my temperas, positives. PREPARED! Feels good for a change.

Got through 2 prints pretty easily. Surprised. I think they are good--Sort of "bounce-offs" to the more exciting ones in the collection.

Fretted about coating my bird print yesterday. So afraid it would mask the color I worked so hard on. Kind of did a little bit, but I don't know how else to protect it. There is probably a better way.

THese prints have been such a struggle! Start to finish. I'm teaching myself as I go, and there is no easy way to undo, and step back. I wish they were a little more perfect, but I'm doing my best I guess. hard.

I don't even have a plan for the installation, which makes me anxious. What I have planned should work, but again, it's another learning thing. Just wish I would hear back from --- so I could feel more settled.

-----
I was so down on myself yesterday afternoon. Typical Friday angst. I make the same mistakes over and over. There I was, unable to finish things that had to be done. Another missed opportunity. Squandered time. Wasted money. GRRR.

Luckily I can put it behind me, and try to do better. Thank God I have no ----.

Another

work lately has been about hauling wood, running out of tempera (magenta), and washing sponge brushes! Sort of ready to get through these six masterpieces!

Shot Ryan today. MORE

The ongoing struggle!

These print paintings are giving me so many headaches.

1. Saw busted (again) at home depot this morning, so another wasted trip there. I need 3 more boards to finish these 6.

2. I unwrapped my bird print this morning. I've been soooo careful with it since I finished printing it Saturday, because I know how touchy these temperas can be. Well, I was sad to see what looked like mold on two of the birds. So like normal, I overreacted and made it worse, sanding it out. Just another unfinished print, another set-back. Another frustration! I think I can repair it, but I won't know until Friday, when I can get back to the corcoran. GRRRRRR

Many problems lay ahead. I need to put frames on all and add some sort of protection.

Tick Tick Tick. The time is dissolving.

added another page to branddave/portfolio/drawings. see here: http://www.branddave.com/freehand/draw_2.html

photo: 2/6 of Axis print collection

29 possibilities

dear dave,

I have managed to amass a sizable stash of plywood in the last week. Between the GarmentDistrict buildout and Hex, I now have 29 great pieces of wood to print on. I think I'm most excited about the little ones. Now all I need to do is get beyond the Axis prints!

Super grey holiday monday. Spent the morning driving Hex to his aunt's, and that pretty much defined the day (as off!). I guess I should view everything I get done this afternoon as extra.

Mondays are usually this way. I have a hard time revving up.

------

Excited to get through this week. I feel like it will be a hump that I'm really happy to get over.

Saturday afternoon at the corcoran.  There are packs of visitors being led around to check out the corcoran - and we feel like zoo animals as we work.  It's kind of funny

Feeling better after a few really lousy days of frustration and angst.  So much stress surrounding this Axis work.  I finally finally finally (finally!) think I've found my way.   But it's been so rough getting here.

I'm doing six print/paintings using the drawings I made for Barb back in December.  Really basic silhouettes.  I set them up in illustrator, and have been struggling ever since trying to figure out how to make them (perfect).  I wanted to keep them bright, printed, and light.

Solutions:  tempera paint for brightness and ease of mixing (utrect brand only!!)  Screen printed, not painted, using tempera for the printing.  30 x 30 thin plywood for lightness (and branddave-ness)

These seem like simple and obvious solutions, but it really was a process to get here.  Along the way I've abandon course maybe 10 times.  My head keeps telling me NOT to do these 6 prints.  To stick with my normal look and feel, and to not change things up for Axis.  I flap around in my head scrambling for quick and easy alternatives.  Anything!!?

Somehow I find my way back, because I'm into them for some reason.

So I'm here finishing up 2 of 6.  Moving along.  Committed.

Dear Dave,

What a mixed day.  Every day is mixed!

I try to get stuff done, but plans always change,  I get distracted.

People flake out.  Guys cancel.  Stores don't open until 11.  I run out of ink.  I run out of clear paper.  The electricity goes out.  I change my shirt colors.  I decide on wood.  I need to buy canvas.  American Apparel discontinues that brief color.  Oh they have it there after all--in the back of the rack.

Tempera looks terrible on wood.  Oh wait it looks good.  That meter is out, Parking is restricted there.  That credit card works.  This one doesn't.

So many changes, reversals, quick victories!  It's mind bending!

I can't decide on shirts.

I can't decide on shirt colors.

I can't decide on designs.

I can't decide about TW.

I can't decide about my AXIS prints.

I can't decide on Easel.

I can't decide on GD.

I can't decide on anything.

My mind is burned.  I'm trying!!  To make progress.  Sort of.

Blah!

Image:  3 panels for axis print paintings.  With lifeline extension cord from the bathroom socket.

More success today. Went back to Home Depot, and got my 30 x 30 boards. I felt so adamant about them being that size. NOT 24 x 24. I'm happy with that choice.

Moved onto paints, and got stymied again. But I found the solution I was looking for - Temperas. Easy to mix. Really flat finish. Bright colors. Flexible. And Cheap! Cheap is maybe most important.

I'm sooooo wary of making mistakes. Wasting. Being unhappy with results. It can be paralyzing, because I feel so UNfree to be creative. There are too many consequences. I'm all focused on consequences. Sucks.

Anyway, think I'm on my way.

PHOTO: testing my Temperas. Into purples! Mixing will be easy and fun

I Don't Have (what I need)

What a day (((month) year) life)))!

I keep running into roadblocks.  Started with me not being able to find my coffee mug when I got in (hours later, found in the microwave)

Then timing was all off.  Dr. appt in middle of the day.  Not ready to go to Corcoran.  Sitting in the closet sized exam room for 25 minutes.

Ha -- being physically blocked (unconsciously) by Harry when all I wanted to do was FLEE that tiny room after my procedure was finished.

What to do about Axis?  Don't like canvas.  Wood too small.  Back and forth!!

Finally I go to Home Depot, thinking most will resolve.  Decide on wood.  Decide on size.  Decide on actual piece of wood!  I cart it back over to the saw.  Wait around for help.  Beg for help.  Then find out the saw is broken.

Thwarted.  Nothing accomplished.  So I leave.

I'm back at the studio, making coffee, super happy its only Monday.  And warm outside.

Things should get better!

Random Coded List

Adidas
Jayden
K
Tan Corduroys
Pool shower

Ping Pong table
bathroom duct

closet floor

sunday circular
boner

garage attic
hand towel
doobie brothers

Saturday night
love boat
white TV

cedar chest
mouse furs

library book

dear dave,

Feeling so manic and crazed.  I have a lot of things to get done, but all are timed WRONG, and I can't seem to pull things together for right now.

Finally have a plan for AXIS.  One that I'm excited about.  But it leaves printing on the back burner, which is sort of unacceptable.

Everything needs to be planned, and that is where I fall short!

BLAH.  I can't even focus on writing this simple post.

Ahhh

( a significant decrease in coffee intake is in order.)

Branddave.com update (redesign) day!

Portfolio

Draw

Men's

Women's

Underwear

Feel really good - like I know where I'm going now.

I have reasserted my creative self.  Finally!

------

Hand in previous post -- Jimmy's.  Took this shot last year, and I really love it.  Of course it's so familiar and comforting.  Like her handwriting or the smell of home.  My precious mom.

stuck at the corcoran, waiting on the wash room. funny how so few people can become such roadblocks. Frustrated!

Sunny springy morning devolved into bleak February afternoon. Oh well, the promise is there.

Maybe I'll walk to starbucks.

dear dave,

yesterday was fun shooting pictures (Matthew & Bucky). It was a little tricky doing it inside though. Probably best to wait for warmer weather- but I still really enjoyed it.

I go into this trance when I'm shooting. It's like I'm not even aware of what I'm doing. I just enjoy it so much. But afterwards I see all the problems I ignored. This time the lighting was the problem. Not so flattering.

----

I was editing the pictures, trying to decide what to add to my portfolio. Then I somehow found myself starting this whole other portfolio, because I still feel so conflicted about censoring my own work for the sake of the overall site. I found myself deep into this new idea, and as I got deeper and deeper, I realized I was basically doing the same thing, with the same pictures, and it really didn't add up to anything new or different and exciting.

So I went back to my regular pages, and started down another destructive path, editing those, stripping out all the text. Of course it was dumb, and didn't improve anything. So after I was all done, I spent just as much time adding it all back in.

----

I'm so unsettled! I can't find my creative resting place. I'm still going through this identity crisis, and it's feeling ridiculous. I want to decide once and for all what I am, what I'm doing, and do it.


But, But, But -- there are always these f-ing buts!

dear dave,

warmer weather brings brighter spirits. Making shirts, and looking forward to a pair of shoots tomorrow.

Not much progress on art for ---- or --- ----, but that's ok I guess.

inspiration