dear dave,

trying to make a week I'm proud of.  MCA open studios are this weekend, so first priority is preparing the studio.

Mixed bag weekend.  Continue to feel sick-ish on and off, which makes everything drag and suck.  I went out to Rockville Saturday after Rock Creek with Remi, and planted all my parents front beds.  I was happy to get it accomplished before the rain, and without Hex's help.  It was nice to be there, but I always have a hangover later.  So much anxiety...

Spent a chunk of Sunday with Hex's family, celebrating the 97th birthday of his grandmother.  Shock of white hair, buffet, sweet pizza, giant birthday card, soft coffee ice cream, family photos, and Home Depot.  Just a random stream of memories about it all...

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I feel bogged down in the past lately.  This overwhelming sense of nostalgia, regret and loss.  Instead of seeing it as all positive, I'm stuck on the what was, and the waste, and the sadness over change.  I can't accept that things are changing, breaking down.  Or I'm obsessed with re-living it.  Re feeling it.

I feel sad about it.  Disconnected.  It's weighing on me.