First day of new month which brings crippling anxiety over rents and money and balances and the state of Branddave.  I don't know why this year is so fraught.  I mean it's always a concern when you work for yourself, but my confidence has shattered, and I just feel like every month is a cliff I'm jumping off, over and over. 

Insomnia struck last night, and I told myself : there is a path forward, you just need to find it.  I've always lived according to this idea, but this year, it's been tough.  I just don't know why - there is much more potential than last.  I guess my safety net is dwindling, and that is what has got me really rattled.  

My design where the two dogs are in rising water, and one says: is the water rising?  And the other says, or are we sinking?  That is Dave exactly.  I feel like both are happening to me at the same time.  Where will all the $ come from to support myself?  there is a path forward, I just need to find it.

- - - - 

Lots of frustration at the end of last week about the bent up sign, and how to proceed.  Luckily my credit came thru, and I guess I just need to hope and pray the full size one comes out well.  I'm terrified to spend the $, and then to have it somehow damaged or disappointing.  The classic fear: so I stall.  As Jeanette would say, its not going to be any easier tomorrow!

Anyway, working s l o w l y on printing the full size, and need to push thru this short week to get a lot done.  Ugh - but it's all stuff I've either already been paid for, won't be paid for, or potentially could be paid for.

THERE IS A PATH FORWARD, YOU JUST NEED TO FIND IT.