Dear Dave,

I need (MUST) find some new music to fuel some sort of creative surge I'm desperate for! Pet Shop Boys have been spent long ago. Kanye West played a major part of my holiday season last year. Who can I turn to? I need FUN. I'm considering Robin Thicke, for old time sake. Maybe.

ANOTHER rainy day. Rainy and cold.

Im going to try to pull together my CD for the print show, and continue to work on Hugo. And of course the website.

Everyday I just muddle through, looking for that elusive creative spark. It's like eating when I'm not hungry. Such a drag. But I'm lucky. So super lucky. I need to remember that!

dear Dave,

Coming in today, I decided to get my post office errand out of the the way. Packing tape and pen in my bag, cumbersome box in my left hand, umbrella in my right hand, I trekked the long wet slippery leaf strew sidewalk up the hill to the post office.

Hmmm - the parking lot is empty, how strange.

It took me awhile to finally realize the post office was closed - VETERANS DAY. So I walked back to my car, defeated and kind of frustrated.

Driving to Starbucks, I was listening to stories about solders on the radio, and felt so much shame for being so incredibly out of touch. All the suffering, and bravery, and death. One author was talking about a soldier who lost both legs, most of both arms, and was severely burned. His ears, the tip of his nose, and his eyelids eventually had to be removed. He had to wear self misting goggles to keep his eyes from drying out. It's so gruesome and tragic I can't even stand it.

Thank you veterans for all that you have done. It's really impossible to thank them enough. But keeping them in my thoughts is a good first step.

I seriously love this - underwear shoot featuring morning wood in WAD magazine. BRILLIANT. Maybe I should buy this magazine. I will consider it. I have banned myself from buying any more. I have TONS already. But this might just be too great to pass up.

Sunday Hexy and I were in Ms. Pixies, and they had a huge stack of old-ish WallPaper magazines. Some were from 1998-9, and I quickly gravitated towards them. So cool to see the changes. It was always ahead of it's time, and you seriously would have a hard time seeing that it was 10 years old. There were a few that I was tempted to buy, but I easily managed to talk myself out of it. Some of those Gene Meyer ads though! Classic.

Dear Dave

Above is the sign for the Shaw Dog Park. Funny how it came to be...They asked me to make a logo for fundraiser t-shirts. I suggested they do shirts with funny dog designs instead, partly because I wasn't so into all the back and forth a logo can generate, and thought they had a chance to sell better.

I sent them a few designs, but they couldn't come to a consensus about which ones to use. Then they saw my happy dog shirt, and wanted to use that. I added the text, and they ended up using it as a logo. Full circle.

Anyway - looks good. They designed the sign, and added the color. Glad I could help them out.

saturday today.

Stopped into the studio for a second, then off to the corcoran to print (what?)

I'm constantly lagging behind. Looking forward to getting ahead.

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Fun shoot with Dave & Nana. It's getting cold outside, so I'm not sure how much longer we can be out.
Long sleeves were sort of a bust. I need to go up one size, or drop it all together. We'll see. In the meantime, I;m going to return my mini supply of mediums. Anywhere I can cut financial corners, I will.

dear dave,

waiting for Dave K, thinking about doing a few more shirts to shoot. I have the time (just barely). But I don't have ideas.

Have a wonderful hoodie to put up on the site. Thinking it probably won't fit Dave well since he is so tall, but hoping. We'll see.

Feel scattered. Still. Working more on site. Really happy with my progress yesterday. But must keep pushing on it.

Got some wood, but not sure what I want to print next. A few big projects are finished, so it's always hard to start up the next ones. Where to go now?

I'm all over the place. Hopefully the shoot will go well.

So many hopefullys!

late post today.

weird days.

Not hearing from many people, so I feel like I am on a little island. I'm working on my website, which has been going well. But it's so strange. I make so many changes and adjustments, but rarely hear any feedback about them. It just feels odd. It's getting me down lately. I feel like I have lost momentum.

I see other people get so many comments from their readers and fans. It's all so interactive. I don't what the secret is to that. What makes some people so magnetic? So engaging? I just don't know.
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Working on some long sleeve shirts to shoot tomorrow. Got an AWESOME hoodie, but I'm afraid it will be too small for Dave, considering he is 6' 7". Fingers crossed, but I doubt it.

Dear Dave,

ROUGH night and morning, but I actually feel better! Hope beyond hope that this feeling is here to stay for a bit. I've been feeling so crappy physically and now mentally for too long.

I had a shoot scheduled for this afternoon, but it was postponed. Happy to have the free time to catch up on projects that have been lagging. I actually made a list, and it filled the page. Desperate to be and feel productive. But it's been hard to find the right girls (women) to photograph. Hopefully things will work out with C next week.

Studio is filled with busy people, making things. Nice to have everybody around for a change.

dear dave,

still dragging. Finished this print this afternoon.

Working on finishing PRINT section for site. Then onto the portfolio part. So not happy with my current solution.

I wish I could feel better, but I don't!

worked on printing this today. still needs to get a few more colors until it's done...

Dear Dave

Still feeling pissy about Baked & Wired, and all the drama surrounding that. I want to just blow it all off, and it's resolved, but it still bothers me.

Saturday was another non-printing day. Sunday was spent lazing around the apartment with Hex. He still doesn't feel 100%.

Now it's NOVEMBER, time to rally. I really have been struggling the past few weeks. Dragging. I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like I'm in a creative funk, and can't fully pull myself out. I've been avoiding dealing with it. Its all just a big vicious cycle, punctuated by gloomy rainy weather, sick dogs, sick boyfriends, recovering mothers, and disappearing sisters. I don't find it hard to feel lousy at all.

I get bursts of positive energy, but it doesn't seem to sustain itself. I guess that is where discipline should kick in.

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Things will change. I just need to focus on staying positive.

Dear Dave,

Shitty start to my day today. Can't write details, but the whole mess really bummed me out, and threw me off.

Had another fun photo session with Dave (and Nana). Went to the Cathedral again, and I think that was a good move. Thinking it's time to get into longsleeves. Henleys turned out fun. All in all a success.

Spent most of the rest of the day revising my site, and licking my wounds. Fridays are never as productive as I expect them to be. The time just drains.

Tomorrow is another Corcoran saturday. They come up so fast. I don't know what I do with my time. Squander it? Have ideas for prints, but once again, I am so unprepared.

Yikes to everything. Yikes.

Dear Dave,

Busy day doing nothing (really). Feel unproductive. Not much to show for it.

Submitted a design to Threadless, to test the waters. REJECTED! I'm sort of shocked. I'm just not their style. Oh well.

Worked on Show postcard, which took much longer then expected. Much longer...

Need to get some shirts ready for Dave tomorrow. Behind as usual.

Meeting Inga tonight to do the Pug exchange. A long time coming!

Hopefully I can be more productive in the next few hours. I'm not feeling so optimistic.

Friend of the Week (11)

MJM - thanks for your support!

dear Dave,

Back to my routine of work, which feels good. Anxious to get printing again, and drawing, but I keep stalling. Like I'm not ready, or am afraid I will fail, and get frustrated.

Happy to be in the studio, working on my website. Pieces are coming along. Its a lot of fun. But must push harder, and get more up.

Shirts are sort of on the back burner again. Maybe the time of year. I'm really happy working with Dave, but need another girl right away, since Allie is busy with school. I'm stalling on this too. I had a few other guys, but never seemed to be able to schedule them. I'm not up for endless email loops, and all the anxiety about the shoots. So maybe it's just best to keep my schedule as is, and move forward on screen printing.

Today I taking down Baked & Wired (installed July 21st!). Had no idea it would become so important to me. Sad to end it, but understand. MUST find other outlets for my prints. I'm afraid I'm too married to that model. I had it made there.

Nice to have sold 2 prints at the end of the show.

Lucy continues to heal. Two steps forward, on backward. But still progress.

Lucy (in better times)


Dear Dave,

Things getting better overall. Had a productive day yesterday, working on show invite, and t-shirts. Learned a sucky lesson, that I can't work ahead so much on the shirts. Oh well. Live and learn. Glad the henleys are coming out well.

Lucy seems to be on the mend. We are feeding her boiled chicken to settle her stomach. Probably 1000 x better then her kibble. She is living like a queen with us. Hex wants to keep her.

Feeling a bit off in terms of BRANDDAVE. How to proceed? I guess I will figure it out over the next few days. Maybe my priority should be to print. But that just puts off the selling. Im torn. Sales trickle in, but that is not nearly enough to sustain me.

Thinking about ETSY, but not so psyched about it. Does it really work? Maybe I should do a survey. Threadless is also sort of unappealing, but maybe an option. My experience last year left me a bit sour on the whole thing. Not sure it's my scene.

Probably will just try everything and anything, and see where i go.

3rd annual pumpkin carving contest

tied for third - my ass!!

dear Dave,

What a CRAZY few weeks its been. Just when I think I'm up, I'm down again. Now we have Lucy's (parent's dog) health to deal with.

Last Monday I volunteered to take her from Jimmy, since giving her all her medicine was going to be a big job. Just when she seemed to be getting better, she took a turn for the worse Sunday, scratching her face up like crazy, and throwing up her food (all night long). Then her eyes swelled.

This morning she seems more stable, and a call to the vet was sort of reassuring. She will be off her antibiotics and on boiled chicken and rice for a few days. Hope this helps, and that she is able to recover soon.

Back to the studio today, after another late start. Life is ROUGH. Seriously rough lately. Baked and Wired comes to a close Wednesday. Traffic on the site is WAY down--to a trickle. Print sales down too. I've hit a major bump in the road again. Its up to me to find a way over it.

Chin up.